People ask a lot of questions at times like these and they call a lot too. I don't understand why because it's the worst time to ask question and call. I don't want to talk to someone I haven't spoken to in months. I don't want to see messages on my Facebook from people I don't even remember where I know them from. I don't want to tell talk about how I'm feeling. I don't want to do anything but wait for her.
I wonder if she bought this suit so that I'd have something halfway decent to wear to her funeral. Is it ironic to wear, what's technically my wedding suit, to my wife's funeral? I don't want to wear this, I don't want to put on the shoes she bought me and I don't want to walk out of that door and see her like that again.
"Natsu." Juvia's voice carries through the apartment. Grey stands behind her. They've both got dark circles under their eyes, Juvia isn't her usual dressed up self. Her hair is twisted into an acceptable bun.
"Lucy likes colors." I look at myself in the mirror. Black, all black. Juvia black dress and heels. Grey Black suit and tie.
"she'd want to see colors." I yank my jacket off and pull on the purple dress shirt my grandma bought me, the one I wear for Easter every year."
"Natsu—"
"Leave it alone, Juvia." Grey walks out of the room and leaves Juvia and me in the room.
"She's gonna want to see some color." I tell Juvia. Juvia sighs and grabs my jacket from the bed. She helps me into it.
"You look good." Juvia's smile is tight, her eyes glassy. "Lucy would love it."
"Lucy just likes to dress me up." I snort a laugh and follow Juvia out.
Grey's eyes are red when we meet him at the door.
"You look good, man." His Adam's apple bobs when he swallows.
"Thanks, I think it has the Lucy stamp of approval." I joke with them. I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
***
Lucy's the kind of person that knows people. The kind of person that people love to love. The place is packed. There's Felix the hotdog guy. There's people with little dogs and big dogs, her clients probably but the owners are all misty eyed. Even the dogs seems to be sad, most of them are draped over arms, the bigger ones are laying on the ground. I don't know this many people but Lucy, Lucy makes it a point to know everyone. My grandma made Lucy's favorite croissants and set them on a small table near the back. I grab one of Lucy and make my way through the crowd. People stop to talk to me. I barely hear most of what they say but I get the gist. Lucy is an amazing person, this is a tragedy, I'm sorry for your loss... I don't want to hear these people talk about her as if they know her like I do. As if they can even fathom just how amazing and how kind and loving and ... Lucy she is. Lucy's name should be what she is. It should be used like an adjective.
"Hey," That voice makes me freeze. That voice that makes Lucy stop smiling and laughing and being happy. I turn around where is Grey?
"What are you two doing here?" I growl through my teeth at the sight of her brother Owen and her mother. I haven't felt this kind of anger in a while, maybe not ever. Lucy makes you want to be a better person when she's with you. I need her with me right now because I do not want to be a good person.
"She was our family." Her mother's eyes are filled with tears and Owen just shifts from foot to foot while he looks at the ground. neither of them looks good.
"No." I take a step toward them "she had the misfortune of being born from you and paired with him" I jab a finger at Owen "but Lucy Mae Dragneel is my family." I glare at her mother, who's eyes are bloodshot and breath smells like Gin.
"She is my wife and you two don't deserve her." I start to walk away.
A hand clamps down on my arm.
"Don't talk to my mom like that." Owen snaps at me. Lucydoesn't like violence, she doesn't like to see people hurt. Despite that and the very little training I've had I find my hand colliding with Owen's face. He staggers and pulls me to the ground with him.
"Owen!" Lucy's mother exclaims.
"Lucy was the most amazing person in existence and you treated her like trash!" I yell throwing another fist out. Owen pins me to the ground and cocks back his fist.
"Hey!" Grey is here, he yanks Owen up in a head lock and shoves him against the wall. "messing with my friend is bad enough, but you're going to do it here?" he demands.
"Natsu." Shaina kneels beside me "are you okay?"
"I'm fine?" I push myself up as Grey shoves Owen away.
"You get one more chance." Grey warns "only because you're Lucy's brother and the least you can do is say goodbye to her, you selfish prick." Grey hands are clenched into fists and his eyes are red. He turns back to me "you good?" He asks.
I hold my hand up to him "didn't break it this time." He offers a half-hearted smile and nods.
"Good job, man." Grey walks away from us, both of us. Juvia stands beside me with her arms wrapped around herself.
"He thinks he should have been able to protect her." Juvia's voice is thick.
"That's stupid." I tell her.
"I tried to tell him that—"
"I should have been able to protect her." I leave her threw and glare at Owen and Lucy's mom.
How is it that someone like Lucy was unlucky enough to get that as her family?
=========================================================
Dear Mom
We don't get along, that's not a secret and you know why I left so we're not getting into that.
I don't know if we're ever going to see each other again so I wanted to leave a goodbye just in case. I hope the next time we cross paths we can all be friends. I hope you can get yourself to where you want to be. I hope you stop drinking because it brings out the worst in you. It's part of the reason I don't drink. I'm afraid there's a monster inside of me. I think we all have monsters inside of us but we have to have the control. We have to keep them under control in our own ways.
I love you anyway. I love you so much and I'm sorry my situation stressed you out so much. I know it must have been hard knowing I could die at any moment. You see, as much as I want to live and do everything, I'm not the one that actually suffers when I do bite it. I just go to sleep, life isn't hard for me anymore so don't drink because you're sad about me. don't be sad about me at all. If you do feel sad, go walk in the park, its my favorite place to find my happiness again.
Owen,
I don't have a lot I want to say to you. I don't want to be angry at you or feel hurt anymore but please stop it. Stop hurting yourself. Stop poisoning your body, you only get on so, take care of it. Take care of yourself and don't forget to love yourself because at this point I can only love you from afar because I have to take care of myself too.
I love you both so much, please take care.
Love Lucy,
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Author's Note:
Today is the day. Release day for Every Reason I Loved Her.
I have the biggest favor in the world to ask
can anyone who has read this please go and review it on Amazon, the link is in my link tree which is linked in my profile.
i have a goal of getting to 100 reviews in my first two weeks
I'd really like to make the best sellers list so please follow my author profile on good reads and leave a review and if possible... maybe purchase or just share it around.
request it at your local library if yours is open.
Thank you to everyone who has read and left comments. I genuinely appreciate your support and kindness.
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Every Reason I Loved Her- FairyTail edition
FanfictionNatsu loves Lucy, Lucy loves Natsu Their whole relationship has been as easy as breathing but lately Natsu notices Lucy acting strangely, he trusts her but he'd do anything to protect her but how can he do that when she won't tell him what's wrong...
