Life After You. (A Kenyan Based Story)

Chapter 40,

Song in chapter(*sweetnight_V/bts.)

Alicia's intentions aren't clear to Donna anymore as time passes, as the grief grows, and the immense sadness along with it. Days go by faster than she can comprehend, yet it's as though she is frozen in time in her mind.

Did she actually do it for the good or for the bad? She wonders, then why does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel so depressed, when the answer is quite clear and near.

Blame, Guilt, longing, love, pain... do they make him far from my reach.

She listens to the same song over and over again until the words imprint in her brain, each replay more relatable than the last, and her heart beats faster and faster in realisation...

I should have known...
One say I'll wake up feeling more...
But I had already reached the shore...
We were ships in the night....

She embarks on a journey to find how she feels, visiting every single place they have been together. From the hospital bench, the random parking lot and the bus station. It coincidentally drizzles as she waits for the same bus they took together and even sits at the same place. She even visits the Alliance francaise library and even the classroom of all places.

She gets lost in photos they took together, and occasionally bursts out in laughter, or a smile or tears as she allows herself to be engulfed in all of him.

Life after you showed me all the brighter places, life after you is memorable, and I don't want to let go of either of it....

Knowing how she truly feels, knowing their is no escape from the prison she has created for herself, knowing she has regrets...she finally breaks down, heavily.

I want to be with him, simply because I want to...
_______

Saturday finally arrives, and Donna spends the whole day spacing out and nervous, the world so blurry around her that people seem like mannequins. She blankly says yes to everything and barely eats at all, as she paces up and about, counting every passing second.

"I have a surprise for you?" Lemayian who happens to stop by the house says to her. She only stares at him.

"You're free tonight right?" He asks. She nods absentmindedly.

Having seen her mental breakdown the past few days, Lemayian who happens to be too excited for that night doesn't give her reaction much thought, hoping she will come around by then.

"Great, I'll come by 9.00. " He adds.

When said time comes though and Jason goes up to her room to get her, Donna is nowhere to be found.

Defenseless and alone, she makes it to the familiar street and starts running along the pavement, heading towards Alliance francaise. Her lungs begin to betray her as all the air in her lungs undergoes maximum exhalation, making her breathing irregular and difficult.

I'll know for sure when I see him...

Her heart has now become a drum, beating louder and louder as she approaches the familiar glass doors. The clouds above are gray and heavy, the air is chilly and drizzly, promising a heavy downpour.