WHERE ART THOU

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HOLLIS was having a bad day, and Ruby Steinfeld wasn't making it any better, with her overly-bright smile(greatly helped with the geeky Gods' gift to Earth, braces). The sunlight was just majestically glinting off the silver bits of brace and wire, and that was not a good thing to be happening whilst someone (a self-proclaimed masculine-ist), was trying to pay attention to a literature lesson on the damned-to-the-fiery-pits-of-hell "love-story-classic", Shakespeare's Romeo & Freaking Juliet.

Fudging Romeo and his Freaking Juliet could go take their love affairs somewhere else, he mentally decided. They could join hands forever in eternity in some place where the grass turned black and the trees turnt black and the leaves and fruit of the tree turnt a deep, bitter black, and where their bodies would slowly rot and decompose into black figments of themselves, and--

God. Ruby Steinfeld also happened to be wearing a dark maroon pullover that appeared black to the eye, and Hollis tried again and again, multiple times, to assure himself that her "almost-black" clothing was certainly not the source of inspiration for his wicked fanfiction of R&J. Nope, certainly not.

"And so", Mrs Holland said, her heels clacking dangerously close to Hollis's desk(funny how he and her could have an almost-same last name and be total opposites in terms of favortie dsubject cough drama cough lit cough shakespeare), "this year's literature project--ah, it's going to be a big one! Your grades depend on this, my dear children of the Earth, your grades!" 

Hollis felt the fire in his bell--nope.

The passion to stud--no.

The thirst for knowledg--just, no.

"You'll be partnered up, doing a project on any of the great poet and literary genius, Shakespeare's works, his life, an autobiography of the great man, etcetera, etcetera. Anything and everything to do with him--" Mrs Holland twirled dangerously on her spiky heels, amidst the groans and moans of "holy shit shakespeare i'm DOOooomedd" students, and stopped abruptly, using her long, manicured nail as a sort of stopper for her twirling, whirling body, landing it smack-dab on the left corner of Hollis's desk like some sort of speare--"haha get it shakespear",

"And I will be choosing partners. Fifty percent of your grade is hanging on a fine thread, dear children."

* * * *

"FIFTY PERCENT! How amazing is that?" Ruby Steinfeld was talking with as much vigor as a lightweight drunk could talk, making wild hand gestures and the occasional "sorry!" when she accidentally waved too dramatically and hit her Asian friend, Chan's glasses, off(totally not stereotyping here). 

"Shakespeare." Chan pushed his lunch tray away, and leaned forward on his elbows, propping head in chin, the "i'm ready to think deep and seriously" posture. Ruby mimicked position and shoved her half-eaten yoghurt aside, despite her rumbling belly. Whenever Chan said something, it was a good something. And therefore she would listen with her utmost attention.

"Seriously, Rubes? Shakespeare? I'd rather be studying the history of Walt Disney, or, or Broadway musicals or something." He plucked a piece of lettuce from his fruit cup(which really should be called veggie cup) and tore it between his teeth, "Shakespeare's boring."

"Booorinnng?!" Ruby exclaimed, shoving herself up with the palms of her hands, and standing tall so that she was looming over Chan's gangly stature, "Who's your partner for this project? No-one? Great, we'll be partners, five-to-nine at my house, rewatching all the greats, the classics--yes that includes R&J, Chan!" (wow, look the two main love interests already have a thing in common, the whole "R&J thing".)

"Ha-ha." Chan said sarcastically, "I have a partner. Kieran--"

"The pothead? Chan! Your mom will be disturbed by having Kieran in your house! He reeks!"

"It's not my fault; do you really think I'd want to be partnered with someone who does pot on, like, a daily basis?"

"This is so fault in our stars; does pot? Seriously, Chan? Sheesh." 

Chan rolled his eyes and response, before mouthing, "Your partner's behind you, btw."

"What, you can't speak now?" Ruby snorted, thoroughly annoyed with Chan's unruly behaviour on her absolute favorite topic, Shake to the Speare.

"Hollis. Your partner. I checked the lists. He's behind you and he's afraid to even touch your shoulder blade at the moment." Chan's monotonous voice brought both Hollis and Ruby to attention.

Ruby turned around and pormptly stuck out her hand, after a few seconds of awkward coughing from Hollis behind her.

"Good ol' Hollis, how are ya? Shakespeare fan, am I right, or am I right?" She then did the weird thing where the person smacks their lips together, forming a sort of "schnapp!" sound, that's supposed to sound convincing.

Hollis replied, "I'm young. Born in, like, December of the year. And, no schnapp! I despise the dead man."

"His spirit lives on!" Ruby clasped her palms to her chest dramatically, while Chan's eyes flitted back and forth between the pair. Hollis raised and eyebrow, and while Ruby was still dramatically swooning, Chan drew a line across his neck, winked at Hollis--winked!--and picked up his tray. 

"I'll leave you two to it."
This produced an even more awkward srtting for both of them, so as Hollis sat down in the seat in front of Ruby, and Ruby switched back into Normal-Ruby mode, both blurted out at the same time,

"Where's Chan?"

"Is that Asian dude gay?"

hey guys! i changed the title, plot, tone of story in a few mere minutes(result of weird, flash-bomb INSPIRATIOONNN!) hope you've enjoyed my attempts at being snarky yet fresh yet sarcastic in this story; I'm super sick of girls/boys loving MUSICALS and BROADWAY and stuff,  why not SHAKESPEARE? HUH?

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THA--

okay i may be ruby in disguise, but y'know, you never know!

<3 check out my other story as well hahah COUGHreadvotecommentlikeCOUGH