Everything To Win (Blue Bloods Fanfiction)

↞ Chapter Seven ↠

Season Seven, Episode One

Jett was used to being told what to do by Erin. The woman was a force to be reckoned with, and with every comment that she gave Jett he felt the mirage of who he used to be slide into place. Something about the need to put back up the front of Detective Inspector J. Howards felt strange compared to what he was now.

There were distinctions to be made between the two parts of him.

The first, the Detective Inspector who had moved around most of his life, that had survived a serial killer as a teenager and then assassination attempts and hundreds of cases that had taken so much from him. The Detective Inspector that Jameson fell in love with and the one that held the confidence of someone years older than him, had changed.

Since the loss of his leg, he had lost most of his confidence, though he could admit to the confidence receiving a shift, rather than a complete disappearance. This Jett was stronger than before, though he wished he could hold onto the part of him that lacked paranoia and PTSD.

The need to appear perfect came back in full swing, a feeling he had lost years ago that only showed up due to the pressure that Erin was accidentally placing on him.

Jameson would be able to help, Jett was fully aware of that. He would hold Jett's hands and mumble promises of how everything would be alright. But he was also at work, his first day shift in just over a month, something he had been simultaneously looking forward too and dreading. Jett agreed with the sentiment.

"You need to just speak the truth Jett," Erin's voice pressed at Jett's temple, he glanced at her. "That's the main thing, tell the truth, answer the questions, and then that's it. The grand jury decides from there."

"What if they decide I killed him." Jett whispered it, as if saying it any louder would cause the idea to be true.

Erin sighed, a sharp sound that caused the DI to tense up. "Then we take it from there." She sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him, "I don't think they will Jett."

And he nodded, taking a deep breath and pressing his hands into his thighs. He resisted the urge to scratch at his no-longer-there leg, humming for Erin to continue with her previous line of questioning.

Erin nodded once as she stood, reaching for the documents she had been previously been reading from. "Apparently, Detective Inspector, Mr. Wilder kept a copy of every phone call he had with you and your partner, Detective Reagan." Erin glanced at the man, Jett could feel her eyes on him as she continued, "Were either you or your partner aware of this?"

Jett hummed a 'no' before pausing and speaking clearly, "No. I was not aware."

It felt like an odd line of questioning, but Jett was fully aware of Erin's intentions. She wanted him to become use to the idea of being on the stand, to being the center of attention and also the most scrutinized in the room.

He yawned slightly, a sound he tried and failed to stifle. "I know the facts of this case by heart Erin." Jett looked her in the eyes, an action that felt forced and also necessary, "I want this to be over with, I need– Jameson and I need this to be over with."

And then there was sympathy in Erin's eyes, sympathy that Jett was so used to seeing at this point in his healing. Sympathy that he wanted to protest but couldn't. "Is that it? Is that all you need from me?"

Erin's face change, contorting into something confused. "Yeah–" She hesitated, "Yes, that's it, that's everything. If you want to change now, the proceedings will start soon."

Jett resisted the urge to glance at his watch as he nodded, he placed his hands on the wheels of his chair pressing forward and huffing lowly at the sheer amount of effort it takes. Erin steps out of the way, offering the hanger to the seated man and watching as he drapes it across his chair.

She watches him leave, standing still for just long enough that she lets herself second guess what her intentions were.

Erin picked up the phone with barely a second thought, dialing a number she knew by heart and waiting as it rang. When he answered, Erin hesitated again, glancing at the door to her office as she spoke, "Jamie, you busy right now?"

"Erin? Just stepped off for lunch." He sounded nervous in a way that Erin had disappointingly gotten use to over the last month. "What is it? What's up?"

"Its court day." Erin resisted the urge to mumble it, her intention of letting Jamie know overshadowed by the other side of her that said Jett did not want him there in this moment. "Jett wants to do this on his own, but I can see how it is affecting him– how it's changing him. He needs you Jamie, he won't admit it. Not with everything in the past month, but he does."

"I'm on my way." Jamie's response came with hesitation, "Even if he doesn't want me in the courtroom, I'll be waiting outside for the second I am needed."

And Erin knew that she had done what was best, even if Jett didn't agree right away. So much of their relationship was so well suited to one another.

"Good."

~~~

These past few months have been absolute chaos. I am so sorry for never updating.

This fic is still something I very much enjoy and will continue to write, hopefully consistently.

Thanks for being patient.