Hold on

Chapter 1 Not existing....

Hey guys! So this is my first story on wattpad so take and easy on me! I have these poems I started writing though and I put them up. Go to my profile and check them out! It's called "Just me". Comment, vote, and fan!

xxxxx

I was driving on the road.

    It was quiet and dark. The clock chimed midnight and I smiled. I was happy. I was going over to my best friend, Lana's house. I know I shouldn't drive this late, but hey I'm 15 and stupid. I also din't have a licence yet but stop hating. And whenever and friend calls you go.

    I bob my head to the music on the radio. As I reach my hand to turn up the music to my favorite song "Red" by Taylor Swift, bright headlights flash bright into my eyes.

 

    I jerk my hand back, pushing on the breaks. The tires squel, my car flying off the road. My car turns and turns until, SPLASH! It splashed into water and....

    I jerk awake, gasping for air. Same dream again. 8 months ago my older brother Jax died in a car accident. They never did find who hit him, and he swerved to avoid the truck and ran off the road and died instantly.

    Tears form in my eyes. I missed him so much it hurt. Even though he was 3 years older then me he still tried to include me in almost everything that he did. He was 17 when he died. I was 14. I'm 15 now and I didn't even have a party since my birthday was two months after he died in July. My birthday was September 21st, and my parents were still grieving. Hell, they still are now, after 8 months. I mean I am to but I still get up and get through the day which is more then I can say for my mother. They aren't the only ones that miss him. I did too. Jax was a happy - go - lucky guy. How could he just be gone? One day he was hear, healthy and alive, and the next....gone.

    "Destiny!" My father yells from downstairs.

    I wipe my eyes, my hands shaking. "What?" I croak out.

    "It's time to get up for school. Your mother's asleep, so don't wake her. I'm going to work."

    I roll my eyes as I hear the front door slam shut. Of course my mom's asleep. She's always asleep. Ever since Jax died she stopped eating. She stopped talking. She stopped living.

    I get it. Really. I know I'm not an easy kid to get along with. They loved Jax more then they loved me. It was just the way it was. He was an easy kid. He could brighten up anybody's day just by being there. I know, because he could do that to mine.

    Dad just works and that's all he does. He goes to work, comes home and eats dinner, then goes and takes care of my mom. It's like I'm not even hear. Like I don't exist.

    "I don't care" I tell myself silently. But I know I'm lying. I do that to myself. Lie, I mean. I pretend I don't care so it makes the pain a little more bearable. If just for a minute. Because it's easier, then caring about someone or something. It's what I did with my brother. I allowed myself to care to much for him. I wish I hadn't, because I miss him so damn much. You know that familer chest pain you get when you lose someone? Well, that's what I have every damn day, of every second.

    And I'm scared. I'm scared that for whoever else that I care for that I pretend that I don't, that they will be taken from me, like God took Jax from me. The only one I really actually cared for besides Lana and my parents. And I can't live with myself if my parents or Lana were taken from me. It would crush me.

    Everybody thinks that I'm a careless bitch, and yes maybe I am, but only on the outside. But on the lnside I'm scared. And that's the part I don't want anyone to see. Not now. Not ever.

xxxxx

Okay, first chapter! Short I know, but anyways, tell me what you think. Vote, comment, fan, please :)

And thanks to Violetdashwood for another amazing cover!

 

- Chelsie ( aka) - Infinitygirl88)