The Boy Who Didn't Love

33 - the tension

  a/n: slightly explicit content warning. nothing too graphic, nothing too steamy, but it's something. sorry for the late update again!

Sawyer sat rigidly on his couch, staring blankly at the wall, as he repeatedly peeked at the time on his phone. He knew she was usually punctual, but he could barely wait any longer.

Just as his patience was wearing thin, three little knocks filled his ears, and he sprung from his seat. He opened the door, then let out a surprised grunt when she slammed into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and closed her eyes. He heard her say something, but her voice was muffled as she flattened her face against his chest.

  "Hi, Alice," he said, an amused smile tugging on the corner of his mouth, as he returned the hug. She reluctantly peeled away from him a moment later and stepped inside his small apartment. Her eyes settled on the popcorn bowl, along with her favorite drink, on the coffee table in his living room. Two blankets were neatly folded on the couch, ready to be used, and the TV was already on the correct channel.

  She turned to him while he closed the door. "You always put so much effort in our movie nights, Sawyer. Even though you don't really like movies all that much."

  "Only with you."

  "Aw, you're so romantic. We should date or something," Ali suggested, and he smiled. He pretended to mull it over for a moment, then sighed in defeat.

  "Fine, I guess," Sawyer muttered, feigning distaste. She plopped down on the couch and playfully narrowed her eyes at him. He sat beside her, covering their legs with the blankets, while she cradled the popcorn bowl in her lap.

  As the movie started, he threw his arm over her shoulder and inched closer to her. Ali quirked an eyebrow at him. "You're being a little too forward for our first date, sir."

  "Is this too forward?" he asked, then swiftly lowered his head to meet her lips. She smiled into the kiss, almost dropping the bowl of popcorn, and reached up to stroke his cheek. They only broke apart when a thunderclap suddenly sounded from the TV, startling them out of their heated trance. Ali chuckled and offered him some popcorn, which he gladly took.

  Throughout the rest of the movie, they sporadically stole curious glances at one another, wondering if they felt the tension too. She was laying on top of him on the couch with her ear to his heart by the time the credits rolled. One of his hands played with her hair while the other laid on the curve of her waist.

  Ali turned her head to lock eyes with him, bringing her hands up to his chest and resting her chin atop of her fingers. "So, did you like the movie?"

  "Yeah," Sawyer replied quietly, although he seemed uncertain. He stared at her, keenly aware of their position, and gave her a small sheepish smile. "But I couldn't really pay attention."

  An awkward silence passed over them as she felt his heartbeat through his shirt. Their eyes never left each other's, although neither of them knew what to say for a moment. He continued to curl her hair around his finger absently, and she pursed her lips in thought.

  "Me neither," she finally said. They both hesitated on their next move, feeling something shift between them. It had almost been half a year since they started dating, and they somehow still felt that giddy nervousness around each other.

  Ali sucked in a breath, hoping it would calm her heart, before slowly lifting herself up to kiss him again. Their lips moved in unison, slowly and tenderly. He subconsciously tightened his hold on her waist, while her hands explored his chest. She pulled back momentarily to leave a trail of kisses down his neck, and he swallowed harshly.

  Before she could return to his lips, he raised them up into a sitting position and leaned against the couch. He gently held her neck as he kissed her with more fiery fervor than before, making her smile in surprise. His hand accidentally slipped underneath her shirt, and his heart pounded with embarrassment.

"It's okay, Sawyer," Ali whispered in between kisses as she stopped his hands from pulling away. He opened his eyes for a second, unsure, before slowly gliding his fingers across her bare skin. His touch sent shivers down her spine, despite how cautious and timid he was being.

  She fiddled with the hem of his shirt as a wordless question, and his mind raced with apprehension. He tore away from her and cast his eyes down, in a way that briefly made it feel like this really was their first date. His voice was small and hesitant; she barely recognized it. "Do you...want to go to my room?"

  Ali smiled and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. "Only if you want to."

  Sawyer nodded slowly, glancing up at her. He watched as she climbed off of him and stretched her hand towards him. They walked into his bedroom, hand in hand, and stopped at the foot of his bed. She pulled off her shirt and settled down on the edge of the mattress, waiting patiently for him.

  He flushed slightly at the sight of her undergarments, then quickly averted his gaze as he took off his own shirt. She slid off her pants a short moment later, and he hesitated on doing the same.

  "I've never done this before," Sawyer said suddenly, and she cocked her head playfully.

  "You've never taken your clothes off before?" she asked; he gave her a flat look, albeit he appreciated her ability to make the atmosphere less heavy. Ali gestured him toward her, and he reluctantly stepped forward. She laced their fingers together as she spoke. "Do you want to wait?"

  "No!" he blurted out too quickly, and she grinned. "I mean, no."

  "Okay, then. If it makes you feel better, I'm nervous too," she assured him; he pursed his lips pensively.

  "Well, do you want to wait?"

  Ali laughed, startling him. "Hell, no."

  Sawyer smiled, then leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. His heart hammered with a mixture of fear and thrill, two emotions that he had never experienced so intensely until he met her. He would never get used to it; he was certain that these sentiments would always feel alien to him, but for some reason, he liked that. He liked knowing that she was the only person who could make him feel this way, and unbeknownst to him, so did she.

  He tensed slightly when her hands began to fumble with his zipper, before he relaxed under her warm touch. Soon enough they were skin to skin on his bed as he hovered over her, his tongue exploring her body. Her soft moans overwhelmed him with lust—another unfamiliar yet intoxicating feeling.

As the night went on, he discovered a plethora of other sensations with the person he cherished the most. He knew, right there and then, that although he was incapable of making long-term commitments, he wanted nothing more but to spend the rest of his life with her.