✓ PLEASURABLE MESS

twenty two

DISCLAIMER;
I know ya'll are f'ing confused and just wants to flip a whole table upside down but be calm and patient because it's only about to get worse :)) LMAOO but this chapter mostly will be y/n and her brother's past?

Your Pov
We arrived at Felix's mansion. I hate to admit it but I'm angry at Hyunjin, he didn't even gave me a chance to speak! We were getting along moments ago and here I thought he would give me a chance to explain and share my opinion

But no

He didn't even hesitate to shut me off and send me and sam away to another man's house. I know for sure that hyunjin is sam's son, and I have no doubt about it.

The maids opened the gate for us to go inside. Just like hyunjin's maids they bowed to us, "Get her things and show her to my room" he says

What?

"Wait what do you mean your room?" He looked at me and raised an eyebrow at me, "Isn't it normal for the mother of my child to sleep beside me? And also you're going to be my wife soon"

Hearing "the mother of my child" come out from his mouth irritates me. Isn't it going too quick? Does he desperately want to marry me after knowing that the dna test came out positive? No, that's not it.

There's something more going on here, but what is it?

"Mr. Lee Felix, I know for sure that sam is not your child but hyunjin's" I confidently said, he chuckled and slowly walked up to me. He leaned in my face and slowly smirked

"What can you do about it?" Chills went up to my spine as I heard his deep husky voice, his eyes were staring at mine's. Compared to hyunjin, he looks at me like he can execute me right on the spot

This man is not like hyunjin. He's more dangerous than hyunjin, i'm not exactly important but they're only keeping me because of sam.

I can feel that he wants to kill me but sam is a big obstacle for that. Reality is hitting me again like a truck, because of how hyunjin was treating me I'm forgetting the fact that I'm dealing with mafia's here. I didn't feel scared when I started living in the same house with hyunjin, because he's hyunjin.

But now, this man doesn't plan to treat me the same way hyunjin does. It's funny how I didn't realize how hyunjin was treating me all the time, he's gentle to me despite him being a mafia. Maybe it's because I haven't live with any mafia's other than hyunjin but hyunjin is definitely different from them

Ah I get it, lee felix knew all along that sam wasn't his child but why is he doing this? Is it because he wants to defeat hyunjin by taking away his son? Or is there someone behind this?

I adverted my gaze to somewhere else as felix stepped away from me. Sam was beside me all the time, he has to see all of this happening

"Show the child to his room" that was his last order to his maids before going to a room which looked like an office. The maids started to guide me and sam to our rooms

"Sam?" I called to him and he looked up at me. I knew he was sad and scared but it breaks my heart to see him like this, he's smiling as if this current situation doesn't affect him

I don't want him to hide what he's feeling because it will remind me of a certain someone who used to hide his feelings to not have me worried.

My brother once did that

Flashback
Me and my brothers were orphan's. I didn't have any memory of my parents and my brother also said he doesn't remember a thing about our parents. The Orphanage was where we grew up

I woke up every morning having this hope that a very nice couple would adopt me and my brother someday. I waited, and waited

But no one came

We weren't adopted by anyone. Somehow, the parents who would come to the orphanage to adopt kids they would always refuse to adopt us even though the caregivers at the orphanage suggested to adopt us

But they would always refuse with a scared look on their face. And with that, the hope that I had vanished without me realizing it.

My brother decided that it's best for both of us to leave the orphanage and find our own way in the world. The caregivers was also hesitant at first but my brother showed them that he was capable of raising me up

The first few days were depressing but as long as I had my brother by my side, I'll be okay.

But I saw how my brother struggled to provide for me but he was hiding it from me, with that pathetic smile of his. I, too was pathetic, even if I knew he was struggling I turned a blind eye to it

Then one day

I hugged my brother tightly as the strong chilly wind hits us. We were only sleeping at the alleyway because we still don't have much money to buy a place to stay

I felt a soft fabric covering me. I opened my eyes to see my brother, he smiled when he saw my eyes opened "Did it lessen the coldness?" I just nodded in response

"Oh? What's this?" My brother and I stiffened when we heard a boy's voice, there were a group of boys infront of us that also looked like stray kids (LMAO IDK) like us

"Woah they have food! And a blanket!" They were terrifying. They started to get close to us and my brother immediately stood up and fought them back

My brother was outnumbered. The sound of punches and the sight of my brother getting beaten up by five people made me stiff in my spot.

They took away all of our things while laughing like a maniac. My brother only stayed at the ground, "B-Big Brother?" My voice cracked as I crawled my way up to my brother

He was crying and covering his face with his hands. With all of those struggles and hardships, the world finally succeeded on breaking him apart

Despair, those were the words that could describe what he's feeling right now. "Ha...I'm sorry Y/n your big brother will get all of our stuffs back, okay? I'll definitely-" he cried.

He buried a lot of feelings, hiding it away from me because he thinks he's my last straw of hope and when he breaks i'll also break with him that's why he tried to pretend everything is alright

The responsibility he felt must have felt so heavy and suffocating. He was still a boy but he couldn't experience what other boys would do at his age, he couldn't have fun and he couldn't make any friends

At that time I was 9 years old, at that age I realized the harsh and painful reality that me and my brother had. I felt so angry at myself for not doing anything when I saw my brother struggled just to get food for me to eat, how he would sacrifice his childhood of taking care of me

Until he finally broke and his feelings that he have kept for years broke free. The more feelings he kept the more painful and suffocating it felt.

I hugged my brother and cried by his side. I couldn't do anything but to stay there by his side and help him pick his broken pieces together and face all the harsh struggles the world is throwing at us

Yes, I can tell the world was definitely against us but that was what made us stronger and I'll surely won't allow the world to break my son that early.

I'll come back to you hyunjin, I'll fix this and we'll come back to you. So wait for us, Hwang Hyunjin

EXTRAS;
+this chapter is kind of dedicated to my big brother (brother, continue on assuming that you're handsome even if you're really not) I was planning to publish it on June 6 since it's his birthday but nah I don't like waiting

+Also let me just clear it to ya'll that this is a work of fiction. I am against r@pe so please don't romanticize it, I just wrote that scene because I needed it for this story. I have put up a trigger warning in the first chapter <33