Yours and Only Yours (Part 1)

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MOHSIN

Ring Ring Ring

I picked up my phone on the third ring. It was Shivangi's mother. Shivangi had gone to Delhi to shoot for her music video. Usually, aunty accompanies her on all her trips, however, this time aunty wasn't feeling too well. I didn't like the fact that Shivangi was traveling alone but I couldn't go because of my shooting schedule. I had just packed up for the night and since tomorrow was Sunday, I had the day off. 

Shivangi's mother: Haan Mohsin, did you call before? Sorry, I couldn't not pick up earlier.

Mohsin: Ji aunty. I just wanted to ask something.

Shivangi's mother: Haan beta, pucho.

Mohsin: Aunty, I know Shivi will be done shooting after midnight. I don't want her to be traveling home alone at that time. I have the day off tomorrow. If you don't mind, I can go pick her up.

I nervously waited for her answer.

Shivangi's mother: I'm so glad you asked. I didn't want Shivangi to come home alone either but I didn't know how I would ask you. I didn't want to make you travel so far. 

Mohsin: It's no problem at all aunty! I'm like your son. You can order me to do anything. 

She laughed and I was relieved that she gave me permission to go. Although, I knew she would not say no, it seemed respectable and necessary to get her permission first. 

I got on the next flight to Delhi. I decided I would surprise Shivangi there so I didn't tell her I was coming. On the flight, I decided to check through Instagram to see what she was up to. She was so excited about this project and I couldn't be more proud of her. I opened her stories and saw that she posted a few behind the scenes of her shoot. She seemed to be with her directors and co-actor and they were all laughing. Her co-actor put his arm around her as they both laughed. I almost dropped my phone. I watched the story again. Why did I feel like this? This was just a playful and friendly gesture. It wasn't serious. But still, my ears were becoming hot and my heart was racing. I turned my phone off and decided not to think about it. Except the only thing I was doing for the remainder of the flight was thinking about it.

SHIVANGI

We had finished our indoor shoot and were now moving to our outdoor location. We only had two days to complete shooting so we were hectically running from one location to another. It was almost midnight and this was our last scene. My scene involved me jumping out of my car and running into the arms of the male lead. I got into the jeep. As soon as I looked through the windshield, I noticed Mohsin standing behind the crew near the cameras. He had his hands tucked into the front pockets of his jeans as he slightly shivered in the chilly breeze. I rapidly blinked my eyes to determine if it was really him or if I was dreaming. He gave a small smile as we made eye contact. It really was him.

Without thinking of where I was, I got out of the jeep and ran towards him. The director gave a look of confusion as he saw me run past the cameras. Mohsin took his hands out of his pockets and slightly raised them, inviting me into his embrace.

"CUT!"

I stopped in my tracks and looked towards the director.

Director: Shivangi beta, you're running out of frame. You have to run to the male lead. Let's do that shot one more time. Take 2!

I felt the heat rising to my cheeks as I realized I was in the middle of a scene and was almost about to make a fool of myself. I looked at Mohsin with a look of apology and he blinked his eyes once as a nod of understanding. He gestured me to go on and complete the scene. 

          

MOHSIN

Shivangi got back into the car for her scene. The director shouted action and the scene began. I watched as Shivangi came out of the car and ran excitedly to the male lead and jumped into his arms. I immediately looked away. What was happening to me? This was just a scene, just acting. Why was I being affected so much? Was I starting to feel jealous? No! I couldn't; there was nothing to be jealous of. This is only for a scene and she was mine. 

Shivangi: Sir one more, please!

I looked back at Shivangi giggling at something the guy must have said. One more? Why does she need one more take? This one was enough. They did the hug scene two more times. I suddenly felt awkward and out of place there. She was barely noticing me. Maybe I shouldn't have come. I walked off to one side away from everyone. From a distance, I saw her laughing. What was happening? She was never this excited when we were shooting for our music video, Baarish. What was so funny about this guy that her giggles wouldn't stop? I decided to go wait in my car until she was finished. 

I waited for what seemed like hours when in reality it was probably only 15 minutes. I heard some voices and looked out the car window to see Shivangi walking with her co-actor. I rolled my eyes. How much more can they talk? What is there to talk about so much? She seemed so happy here. It was as if my presence didn't even matter. 

SHIVANGI

We finally wrapped up shooting for the music video. It was so much fun, but also very tiring. My co-actor and I were walking to the parking lot, where I knew Mohsin was waiting for me. My co-actor was from Punjab and had rarely come to Mumbai. He was going to visit Mumbai next week with his girlfriend and had asked me about the best restaurants there. I told him about all the amazing places Mohsin had taken me to. He was a very friendly and sweet guy. The entire time, he was asking me for advice for surprising his girlfriend. His ideas of dates and gestures made me laugh because some were quite absurd. As nice as the thought is, I doubt any girl would love one million roses delivered to her door. That would just be annoying.

After a few last tips, we bid each other a goodbye and he walked to his car while I walked over to Mohsin's. I could see Mohsin sitting inside. This was strange. He always opened the door for me. That wasn't a big deal; maybe he was just tired. It was past midnight after all. I got into the car and smiled at him.

Shivangi: Hi!

I leaned over to hug him but instead he reached for his seatbelt and put it on. What was going on with him?

Mohsin: Put on your seatbelt.

Shivangi: Mohsin, what happened?

Mohsin: I'm very tired. If you're ready, can we go? Or do you have other things to do?

Shivangi: Why are you acting like that? What happened?

Mohsin: Why am I acting like that?! How should I act Shivangi? You tell me.

I was taken aback by his sudden rise in voice. He calmed himself down but he still seemed to be hiding the reason for his anger. I reached over and placed my hand on his thigh.

Shivangi: Mohsin...are you ok? What happened?

Mohsin: Nothing. Forget it. I don't want to say anything that I'll regret later. 

He gently removed my hand from his thigh. I couldn't go on like this.

Shivangi: Since when do we keep things from each other? Something is clearly bothering you. What happened Mohsin? Talk to me please.

He stayed silent and looked straight ahead. He barely even looked at me from the time in stepped into the car. I sighed.

Shivangi: Mohsin, I'm already very tired. I had a long day, it was stressful please don't make it any more--

Mohsin: Yea I saw how stressful it was.

I stopped in the middle of my sentence.

Shivangi: What did you say?

He turned sharply and looked directly at me. Except his gaze seemed to send daggers through me.

Mohsin: I saw how stressful it was. So stressful that you didn't have time to do anything else but laugh and giggle with that guy. 

He turned away from me and continued to look ahead at the empty parking lot. That guy?  Which guy? Ohhhhhhh. Hey bhagwan! What stories did he cook up in that mind of his? I looked at Mohsin who was looking so cute with that jealous face. 

MOHSIN

I quickly took a glance at Shivangi from the corner of my eyes. Was that a smile on her face? Even now she was sitting her and smiling when I mentioned that guy? That's it; I couldn't take it anymore and I got out of the car. Shivangi followed my actions and got out of the car as well.

Shivangi: Arey suno toh!

I didn't want to hear anything. What else was there to hear? She came over to the side of the car where I was standing.

Shivangi: That guy is my co-actor.

Mohsin: No one is that friendly with their co-actors.

Shivangi: But you're my co-actor also.

Mohsin: And now look at us, are we just friends?

Shivangi: Exactly! We don't show the world how 'friendly' we are. We only show when we are with our friends.

I looked away.

Shivangi: Okay, apna nataak bandh karo and let's go. I'm tired. 

Mohsin: You think I'm joking? Are my feelings a joke to you? I saw how many times you wanted to redo that hug scene. Why? Were you not satisfied the first time? What need did you have to do that scene over and over again?

Shivangi: Are my feelings a joke to you Mohsin?! This is my job! I'm an actress! I work with many people. Just because the person opposite me is a guy, you can't make assumptions that there is something going on. Can't a male and female be just friends? Is there only one type of relationship for them? You worked with so many other girls, did I ever say one thing to you?

She was right. I didn't know why I was acting this way. She would never do anything to hurt me. But still, my heart wouldn't calm down. Maybe it was the fear of losing her or it was because I was madly in love with her, but I could not get the image of the two of them together out of my head. And that wasn't making my anger calm down one bit. 

Shivangi: Will you say something? Are you serious? You still aren't going to say anything? You know what, I'm not going to stand here and explain myself anymore. I'm not going to be making a fool of myself trying to explain to you while you decide to have no trust and instead make up imaginary stories in your head. 

She paused and looked at me, pleading with her eyes but staying firm with her words. My heart and brain were in a conflicted war inside me. I couldn't bring her close, nor could I push her away. Instead, I remained silent and looked away.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Shivangi drop her purse and march up to me. She grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face her. Before I could process what was going on, she held my collars and pulled my lips to hers. The kiss was filled with passion, love, desire...and pain. She pulled away and we rested our foreheads together as we caught our breath. She slightly pushed me and stepped back to picked up her purse.

Shivangi: If you felt anything right in that, if you felt what we have...what we had, then good. I was yours and only yours. But don't come after me now, because I'm done proving myself. 

With that, she wiped the stray tear from her cheek and walked away. My heart dropped from her words and the world around me stood still. I couldn't move. I only stood there, watching her figure disappear into the distance. 

To be continued...

Behind The Camera ~ A SERIES OF SHIVIN OSTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon