My Solace

My Solace

 

PROLOGUE~

Her name is Elvyna Moore. She was an ordinary girl, a bit prettier than average, but still, very much alike to a lot of girls you know yourselves. She was not an artist nor a model. She was not a campus crush, she was not a loner . She was a girl--she was happy, she was sad, she was angry, she was coy, she was gentle, she was wise; she had fears ... she had dreams.

She was only eight.

Innocent.

Fragile.

Young.

She was just a kid when reality was introduced to her. She was just a kid when the cruel world stepped into her silent life.

 

That was before. That old incompetent weakling turned into someone reticent. Someone who was secretive. She kept all her problems to herself. She was independent. Not because she wants to, but because she needs to. She was alone.

Inside...

"Ugh" that was all that I can say as my bare feet brushes the cold surface, rushing to the bathroom. I washed my face and cold water started to drip, emotions fading.

 

 

It's so ironic that people admire me for being strong and wise.

Pushing and facing the obstacles of life...

Reaching the greatest triumph one can possess...

 

I laugh as they say these. Not because of flattery, not because it may be true.. I laugh because I know in myself that these are the biggest lies I've ever heard. The biggest joke one can pull off.

Yes, I tell a million of inspiring and encouraging words to different people: either friends or strangers, loved ones or the ones that hate me... And for a second, I believe my own words. But as I read it again, I laugh.

Who am I kidding?

 

Me myself can't even see the "beauty of life" I keep on telling others.

I can't even smile genuinely... And it seems like my heart, from a fragile glass turned into a solid.black.rock...

Not being able to break down because of numbness....

Agonizing pain and excruciating despair istwo of the things I spend my life with. 

 

I act as I'm the happiest person in the world when I feel like the biggest piercing of life is being thrown at me. I smile and "inspire" people when my dreams are slowly being crushed into a million of pieces... shattering...

  

Ironic, right? My light is fading, my soul is dying.. and people admire and look up at me...

Ewan ko, ayokong nakakakita ng umiiyak ni malungkot. And I don't know how, but in the end of the day, I manage to make them smile.

Ako? Elvyna Moore. My friends call me Ellie. Second year college taking Interior Design. 17 years young.

 --------------

Pauwi na ako, dumaan lang ako sa likod ng campus dahil masyado ng crowded duon sa unahan... Pauwi na ako nang mapatigil ako sa paglalakad ng may narinig akong sumigaw at isang malakas na kalabog, tila isang tunog na nabuo dahil sa pagsuntok sa pader...

"Fuck you life! You suck! You all suckk!"

'I know right?' Gusto ko sana sabihin sabay yakap sa kanya at iyak. Pero syempre, hindi yun ang ginawa ko.

Ako, bilang Dra.Phil ng university na 'to (well that's what they call me), walked up to him and instead of talking or anything, I just stood there..

Sandali siyang napatingin sa'kin ngunit pagkatapos ng segundong iyon ay pinagsusuntok niya na naman ang kawawang pader...

Kung hindi ako magkakamali, siya si Aldrin Ray Parks, third year. Bakit ko alam, kamo? Minsan kasi napag-usapan yan sa klase namin. Emo daw kasi, hindi magets, may sariling mundo, ganyan, ganito. 

Maya-maya ng mapagod na siya, tumingin siya sakin... Puno ng hinanakit ang mga mata niya... puno ng sakit.. Galit. Lungkot.

His black air was pointed in different sections. May putok ang labi niya at mamumula ito....

Napatigil ang pag-iisip ko nang magsalita siya, "Ano Ms. doktora? Hindi ka ba iimik diyan? Manunuod ka lang? Sige na't magdakdak ka na tungkol sa kadili.. este sa kagandahan ng buhay. Just get done with your crap and leave" sabi niya with his raspy voice as he wiped some of the blood on his lips...

"First of all, hindi ako doktora... Interior design po ang course ko..." I said with a smile pero pinutol niya ule ang sinasabi ko...

"Tinatanong ko ba?" he smirked. "At pwede ba? Wag kang ngumiti ngiti diyan, halatang peke e." he said and with that, he started to walk away...

Pero bago pa siya makaalis ng tuluyan ay muli siyang nagsalita, "And oh, You're not fooling me. You're fooling yourself"

-------------------------------------------------------------

 FIRST TIME KONG MAGSULAT NG GANITONG CHARACTER NA LALAKI. Sooo, bear with me! XD

 

And the big question is...

 

 

TO CONTINUE OR TO NOT CONTINUE? :)