𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 | ✔

Chapter 72

*Erin's POV*

"Alright. So let's get you checked out." The gynecologist brought Jay and me into the treatment room.
"Please sit here." The woman pointed to the chair and I sat down, Jay standing right by my side, holding my hand.
"Do you want him to leave or should he stay?" The doctor asked me before she started doing her doctor stuff.
"He can totally stay. Unless you don't want to." I turned my head to Jay.
"I'll totally stay here with you." Jay squeezed my hand and he knew that it had a calming effect on me.
"I see a few changes here. Have you ever been pregnant? Because you've got some scars." The doctor looked up to me.
"Yes. Three times." Her eyes widened a bit because we were here because we've been trying to get pregnant again now for a while but it didn't seem to work so we decided maybe I should get myself checked out.
"So you have children already?" She asked and Jay answered for me.
"We have one son. Erin had two miscarriages." The doctor nodded when she heard that and finished what she was doing.
"Okay. So then I'll tell you what it looks like from a medical point of view." She took off her gloves.
"I wouldn't say that it is impossible for you to get pregnant but it will take longer and maybe it won't work again. Of course, the miscarriages leave physical damage aswell. So of course you can keep trying, but the pregnancy would most likely have complications.
My honest opinion: Maybe you shouldn't try it any further and save yourself the pain." I looked at Jay and he gave me the same expressionless look.
"Oay. Then thank you for your opinion." We left the doctors office and went back to the car.

*Jay's POV*

"What if she's right? What if i can't get pregnant?" I knew how badly Erin wanted a child and I was no different.
"Hey. Look at me." My hands were on her shoulders.
"She said there is a chance. And we will take advantage of this chance. Okay?" I wiped the single tear away that had left Erin's eye and she nodded in response but I saw that another thought was on her mind.
"But let's assume we would get pregnant, but then I only have complications in the pregnancy and lose the child again; Jay, I can't do this again. I just can't do it." I had my arms around Erin and was holding her because it took me a moment to find the right words to say.
"I couldn't either. I can take my pain, but I am not strong enough to take your pain. And the way you suffered from it the last times... I really had no idea how to handle it." That made her look up to me.
"You don't need to deal my pain." She said but I could never just leave her alone when she wasn't feeling good.
"Maybe. But I do it anyways or at least try to. But for now I'm just gonna take you home so we can maybe think about it a bit later again, okay?" Erin nodded and went to the passenger site of the car which left me a bit worried because she always wanted to drive.
I called Voight quickly because we needed to be at work in about twenty minutes but given the situation he was fine with it because he knew how hard this news must have been for Erin.
"Who have you been calling?" Erin looked a bit confused when I got into the car.
"Voight. It's a Thursday morning. We would usually be at the district by now." Her eyes widened when I said that.
"Well guess then we can't go home. So let's go to work." She gave me a smile but it was more fake than some peoples eyelashes.
"We're going home. Clarified everything with Voight, today we are off." And with that I started the engine and drove home.

*Erin's POV*

I was sitting in Niran's room with three stacks of ultrasound pictures. All with a different amount of pictures.
"Erin?" Jay's head appeared in the doorway.
"Hey." I looked up and gave him a smile, this time a real one because I just felt happy about having this memories with him even if the end was painful.
"What are you doing?" Jay came up to me and sat down on the floor next to me.
"Sounds probably weird; But being with my kids I guess." Right now the thought made me happy that I had three children, even if there was only one still with me.
"Do you mind me joining?" Jay asked and I shook my head.
"I thought about what the doctor said earlier, Jay." He looked up from the picture he was holding right now.
"And what decision did you come to?" Jay looked curious and I knew he would support me every decision I'd made.
"I want to try it one last time. If it doesn't work then I guess it just isn't ment to be for us." Jay nodded and took me in his arms and we looked at a few photos more together.