My Life And Rock'n'Roll

Chapter 42 - The Go Ahead

Finally....after interviewing John back in the US it is now the night we here at the BBC broadcast his interview. It is hard to believe we have had the tapes in the vault for nearly seven months....

My boss, Sir Ian Trethowan, was impressed with the interview, and when he watched it he couldn't believe just how much ground that was covered.

Our lawyers only gave us the go ahead to show the interview after they received notification that John's divorce was finalised and there would be no possibility of the BBC being sued.

Tonight we will know if this interview has been a success. Commercially, the BBC will benefit from this but as for John personally, I don't know if this will be well received or not.

I have spoken to fellow journalists about this, and there has been mixed responses. I think most of them are curious to see the reviews from this, and I have to say, so do I.

The newspaper article goes to print tonight, and will be the front page of The Times tomorrow. I haven't spoken to John, but I will be reaching out once the fallout from the interview and article are known......
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Tonight is such an important night for me, and I have a large group of people coming over to watch the interview with me.

Pete and Beth, Paul and Linda, George and Pattie, and Ringo and Maureen are going to be here soon, and it is like old times - except I will be the one without a partner.....

Cyn should be here too, but knowing how much I have hurt her and caused her pain, do I know this is solely my fault......

I asked Jules what he and Cyn are doing tonight, and he informs me they are going to be watching it at home without the fanfare. When Jules told me Cyn has managed to buy herself a house I am so proud of her.

She has come so far, especially after I left her with next to nothing in our divorce. I am struggling with how badly I have treated her, and I would like nothing more to see her and talk to her one on one, but at the moment Cyn is clearly not ready to talk to me yet.....

I love Cyn so much, that now, as I am getting my life back, do I see what I want - it is Cyn and Jules, and the family life I thought was holding me back.....
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It is time, the BBC have been advertising John's interview for the last week, and as the time has drawn nearer do I feel so nervous. While I have already seen what John has to say, I haven't wanted to see him.

I know at some point John and I will need to to communicate, but as my life is so different now, there is not much point in going over what happened all those years ago......

Julian and I will watch the interview together at home, as I now want to watch it again, and see if there is anything I may have missed. Thankfully, Julian and John are spending time together, and Julian seems happy how things are progressing for them.

That is all I ever wanted, and now, seeing Julian looking forward to spending time with John do I know he will step up for our son....
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What a difference time makes - to think John was stuck in the US only nine months ago and now he is here, back in England, living his life.

Tonight a group of us are at his place to watch the interview, and as we are all getting ready to watch the broadcast, I see the look of fear in his face. I realise it has nothing to do with Yoko, and it is all to do with Cynthia and Julian.......

Throughout all this, John's focus has been on both of them, and now, seeing this all come to a head, do I see what is so obvious - Cynthia and Julian mean everything to him.

The interview is about to commence, and we all are eager to see how this interview goes.....
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How did I let this happen? Now I am divorced from John, and he has managed to thwart my plans.....

Not only did I have to agree to his terms for custody of our beautiful son, but I was unable to get more money. John has left me with a bank account, but the truth is I wanted much more - I wanted it all....

Sam has been amazing, and while I have lost some of my connections in my social circle, we have been able to establish new connections and I am looking forward to getting back to my artistry.

Sean is adjusting to his fathers absence, and life will go on, and more importantly, my life will go on and be better than it was before......
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Mum and I are about to watch Dad's interview. Thankfully we have seen it already, but this time I want to watch it again, where I won't get so emotional.

Mum seems to feel the same way, although I am surprised she has opted to be here and not at Jim's. I know their relationship is going well, and Jim clearly has feelings for Mum.....

As the interview is about to start, we get comfortable on the couch. I know this is not the whole interview, this is a condensed version, but I am guessing the important points are there.

The moment I see Dad's face on the television screen, something turns inside me. I can't explain it, but maybe I will get a better idea when the broadcast concludes.....