50 Days

Day 12

AN: So I hope you like the story so far? And I hope it's not that fast moving and weird? I am trying my best to make it sound realistic, but I think I am failing on it. All I want is Dean and Cas making out (shoot me!).
The next few chapters will be more Destiel than Cockles, by the way. Hope that's okay for you?

I am really excited for this chapter, to be honest. ;) let's go ...

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"No, no, no, no, no ... No!" We heard Jensen yelling; almost crying. Jared and I looked at each other with a questionging look on our faces.

"Should we ... or?" Jared pointed to the direction of where Jensen's voice was coming from. I shook my head and leaned back; putting my feet on the table in front of me.

"He's alright," I said.

Suddenly the door to my trailer slammed open and a agitated Jensen went inside; throwing himself on my bed. He was still wearing his dirty shoes. "Take off your shoes, man," I warned; not bothering to ask what he was so mad about. "If you wanna lay on my bed you gotta take your shoes off," I added; trying to stay serious.

Jensen rolled his eyes and slipped the shoes off his feet. "Better?"

"Better." I licked my dry lips.

Jared next to me let out a huge sigh. "You're so gay sometimes."

"Says the one who almost kissed Jensen on stage." I laughed.

"Says the one who actually kissed Jensen," Jared countered; slapped the back of my head.

It actually never happened that we'd spend time in my trailer, that's why I wasn't prepared when Jared asked for any snacks. I've offered him an apple, but he'd refused with a forced smile (I didn't feel like telling him that I got a bag of white-chocolate macadamie nut cookies in one of my cabinets).
So we - Jensen on my bed, Jared in a chair and I on my couch - were just chilling; waiting for the time to pass by. 

Sam was looking at Castiel with questioning eyes. He wasn't sure if  the angel would say anything in the next few years, because he'd been quite for about one hour straight. "So ...," Sam finally managed to ask. He was scared about what his friend would tell him.

Cas shook his head. "I can't, Sam. I couldn't tell Dean, so why could I tell you?"

That hurt Sam, but he tried to not show him that. Castiel would always choose Dean over Sam. Castiel would always be there for Dean when both of the Winchesters needed help. Castiel would always trust Dean more than Sam. And Sam knew that.

He knew it, because he knew that Castiel loved Dean.

And Sam was aware of whatever Castiel would tell him now, it would be something about his feelings for him. Sam pulled his eyebrows together and looked to the ground.

"Look, Cas, I know you don't trust me as much as you trust Dean and I think that's okay. I don't even trust myself, but you're suffering! I can see that. You need to get whatever you're dealing with off your chest."

Castiel bit his lower lip. "I trust you, Sam."

Sam shook his head; sad and slowly. "No, you don't." A tear crept out of his left eye.

The angel ran his fingers through his hair; letting out a deep sigh. 'Alright, you can do it, Castiel. You can trust him,' Castiel thought.

"I ... I am a disgrace of an angel, Sam," he whispered.

"What? What do you mean, Cas?"