i've always hated you || eremika

2 || eren

"i've always hated you mikasa."

eren watched as the tears came to mikasa's eyes and he wanted to pull her into a hug and tell her that he didn't mean a word but he didn't.

armin came and punched eren, and eren punched him back, beating armin to the point that he collapsed. he watched as his followers took them away.

eren wasn't a fool, he knew mikasa loved him. zeke had made that clear. and yet he didn't want to believe it. everything would be so much easier if she didn't. but the worst part of it was that he loved her back and yet he knew they could never be together. he was going to die in four years anyway. he didn't have the time to live a life with mikasa. this was for them, he wanted to keep them safe.

those words, eren didn't mean them. he hated that he had to do that but this was the path he had chosen to take, even if he ended up breaking his heart along with mikasa's.

eren wasn't sure at what point he had fallen for mikasa. she was beautiful and in truth eren supposed he always harbored feelings for her, it just took him some time to realize it. she was motherly and eren had found it annoying but now he was missing it, he was missing mikasa's presence.

that day when hannes was eaten and mikasa had basically confessed her love to eren he had made a promise. a promise he couldn't keep.

he was so conflicted though he knew ultimately he made the right decision for all of them. and yet his mind kept circling back to mikasa in tears. god he hated seeing her cry and the fact that he was the reason she was crying broke him.

never in million years did he ever want to hurt mikasa and yet he had in a way to protect her. he wanted her and armin both to live long happy lives, lives without him. he wanted to grow old with them, old with mikasa but he couldn't. and so instead he settled with insuring their survival.

eren removed his gaze from the window and got up. "i'm sorry mikasa," he whispered before he walked out of the room he was in.