Thank you to everyone who sent in edits this one is from @bandana_gal on Twitter! Keep em coming xx
Cameron
Reconciling is easily said than done, the anguish of constantly being able to reconnect with her is even harder.
I look down on my beauty that is in a deep slumber, she has her arms tightly wrapped around my body her head placed on my chest as her arms cling to me as she breaths slowly. That hair that spreads along bare my chest is like fine angel hairs sparkling in the rays of light that peaks through the blinds.
I suddenly feel angry and can't bundle in my emotions anymore, I fucked this beautiful soul over and ruined any trace of innocence left. I've let her slip through my fingers more times than I can count on both hands and she has been by my side every step of the way even through my worst times. But she stayed, no one ever stays near me not even my damn birth mother.
You might think half of the things I have done is 'selfish' or 'unforgivable' but I don't regret them. I brought myself to places I never thought I would be especially through a way where I got her to be mine. I took everything away from her including the most precious gift that she gave to me. All because I loved her with every living fibre in my being.
Melissa has been given everything I never had the choice to; engagement and happiness.
Fuck do I envy that but I can't change it, my emotions towards getting married haven't changed either and I think that as another reason why this can no longer continue.
She needs more than I can offer her, Melissa deserves someone open and honest, someone not like me.
Fuck! What am I saying I don't know what I want right now! My mind is doing backflips and my heart and instincts are working in opposites of each other.
I look down at her one more time focusing on how pure and calm she looks.
I pick up her notepad and write something little before setting it on the pillow that I laid on. I slowly lift her head of my body and rest her against her side of the bed trying my absolute hardest not to wake her, which I succeed in thankfully.
I slip on my clothes from last night and begin to walk out but I feel something hold me back as I turn around and looks at my girl.
I bend my head down and press my lips firmly against her forehead letting myself feel her softness and warmth.
.
I take two steps at a time racing down the stairs and aiming for the door but that's when I was stopped in my tracks and had a heart attack from her sweet but deadly voice.
"Cameron please come to the kitchen."
My first reaction was to run to the door and leave but when she called at me again I took slow steps to walk over to her.
"Good morning, how did you sleep?" Alyssa asks me sipping on what I presume is a cup of coffee.
"Uh morning." I mumble rubbing the back of my neck looking anywhere but her haunting eyes.
"Take a seat." She points to the chair on the opposite side of where she is seated.
"I just came to talk to Melissa but looks like she is asleep, I'll come back." I tell her turning around on my heel.
"Cameron sit down." She uses a serious tone now.
I sit down in the chair faster than you can say boo.
"Look I'm not stupid I know you stayed the night."
"Uhh.." I mutter unsure what to say.
I'm expecting her to chop my dick off to be completely honest.
"Your the only guy I know my daughter will be in bed with anyway I wasn't shocked really." she shrugs playing it cool, too cool.
"Look Alyssa I don't know w-"
"Do you know what I thought of you when I first meet you?" She interrupts me.
"I wasn't worthy of your daughter...?" I ask.
She shakes her head, "That was one of them but when I represented you at court, I looked at you and saw a kid who was on the wrong path who had been acting up to get attention. I knew I had to help you gosh I even felt sorry for you. I kind of did it more for your mother than you to be honest but after I got over the fact you hurt my baby I felt that feeling for you again, sorrow."
"Are you going to kick my arse back in jail? I'll help you if you like?"
"Shut up!" She groans, "I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm glad Mel is with you, I don't want her with anyone else. Your the only source of her happiness."
What the fuck am I going to do know?
How come a piece of someone's opinion can make you change everything. What you originally had planned out changes and you doubt yourself. Peer pressure at its finest with mixed opinions is the hardest.
Do people know you or do you know yourself better?
.
Melissa
My eyes flutter open, the white crisp ceiling magically making me smile and I feel all giggly. I never wake up like this but as I rethink of last nights events I can't help but feel my body tingle, Cameron's sweet words replaying in my mind along with the way we felt towards each other so passionately.
I turn on my other side and reach my hand out to touch his solid warm skin but I'm greats with cold sheets.
I reopen my eyes and sit up looking around the room and look through my ensuite and see he isn't there.
He left? Again?
I feel a pit of anger grow inside me and jump to the appropriate conclusion that he has left me and most probably fucking used me as well.
I thrash my arms and legs around like a spoilt toddler as tears threaten to spill my body numb and my heart aching.
I feel stupid and disgusted with myself, I left him do this to me and after countless times of warning myself away and training to not let myself go that way again. I failed because I'm so caught up in a fantasy world of perfection that the world of destruction is so foreign I feel sick and physically drained.
Through my blurred vision I spot a piece of white paper still perfectly placed on the pillow where his body laid.
I pick it up in my shaky hands and examine it and sob as I let the tears run down the page smudging the ink as I read over and over the words.
Just like the North and South poles, they will never be able to join even through the most powerful weapon of all, love.
His drug has now officially ran out.
A/N: if you didn't read the first book you won't get the references.
There is a pounding knock at my door and I can't bring myself to even function.
"Melissa honey." My mother sighs as she enters my room and crouches down beside me firmly wrapping her arms around me and I practically drench her Chanel outfit in tears.
"It will get better, I promise...You'll see." She whispers in my ear as she runs her fingers through my hair.
"This isn't supposed to be how it ends."
