love & hate.

ch.10

again no idea how to name this chapter buut enjoy! and if ur reading this and ur from tik tok thanks!

Stiles

I ran into our hotel room and locked myself in the bathroom, my breathing was unsteady and i was struggling to breathe normally, 'great a panic attack'  i looked into the mirror and saw water bubbles behind me, i guess thy were reacting to my panic. I tried putting them back in the sink but they wouldn't budge. then i heard knocking on the bathroom door "Stiles let me in your heart is racing like crazy" it was Derek "n- no" i said struggling to get breath "y- you k- know i ha- have bee- n practicing l- listening to h- heart beats" i said and Derek went quiet "y- you lied y- you gav- e me false h- hope th- that you don't hate me.. y- your heart was r- racing it means  y- you were lying" i heard Derek sigh. He broke the door knob and came in the bath room "n- no! g- get out!" i said but Derek didn't listen "i do not hate you Stiles" "STOP! STOP LYING TO ME STOP GIVING ME FALSE HOPE THAT YOU LIKE ME BACK! STOP IT!" Derek stood there in shock what i just said then i realized that i just said i like him "shit- s- sorry" i said and headed out of the room. 

I took deep breaths, and my breathing went back to normal. Derek stood in the door way refusing to look at me "said you actually hate me" i said looking away from him. I headed to the field now it was about midnight "where are you going?" Derek asked "to get some fresh air" i looked at him and almost teared up but i faced away and went to the field. 

i was on the field and decided to play with water. i put on some music and closed my eyes changing them to my purple eyes. I started spinning toggling the water and then is saw something in the corner of my eye against the hotel. I looked and focused and saw that Derek is watching me "JUST BECAUSE I REVEALED MY FEELING FOR YOU DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO WATCH ME AS A BABY" i yelled and i was pretty sure he heard it. But he didn't leave i scoffed and returned to the water "okay lets try something new" i whispered. i had took the book with me to the field "glowing water"this title got my attention it was dark outside so i could've used some glow. "okay" i whispered and closed my eyes, i started bending the water and it formed like something tangled and started to glow "woah" i heard Derek from all the way to the hotel, at least i thought from the hotel i turned around and he was right behind me "what are you doing here?" i asked he just shrugged still watching as the water tangled and glowed. "at least i'm not failure here, i think" i said, Derek looked at me "your not a failure Stiles" Derek said "i am, you can go now i know you still hate me, i'm not going to force you to stay with me just because you lied that you didn't hate me" Derek looked down and started fidgeting with he's fingers "i really don't hate you Stil-" "NO! NO! NO! DON'T! DON'T SAY YOU DON'T HATE ME! OKAY?! I KNOW YOU DO SO DON'T FAKE ANYTHING! p- please, you have no idea for how long i have liked you, and it breaks my heart more if you lie that you don't hate me" i started sobbing Derek turned to me "fine, just so you know i don't hate you"

Derek was in the hotel and i was breaking down on the field there was a window in our room facing the field and i can see him in that frame, he's watching me. I had to release the psychical pain somehow so i started bending water and i throwed it at a tree, it snapped in half "wonder if i can do that to myself" i chuckled thru the sobs. i closed my eyes deciding i should just scream the pain out, worked last time. I screamed and it sounded like i was being killed to be honest so i wasn't surprised when Derek was in front of me in seconds "what was that are you okay?" i chuckled "yeah i n- needed to let my pain out and chopping down trees wouldn't help" i pointed to the snapped tree. He chuckled. I just put another fake smile on and 'smiled' at Derek.