Cray
"Just leave the lights off."
Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang marinig ko yung boses ni Ember. Kadarating ko lang mula sa unit at plano ko sanang buhayin yung ilaw dahil wala akong makita.
"I'm sorry?" My eyes are still adjusting at the dark. Nakahawak pa din ako sa likuran ng pintuan.
"Just the leave the lights off." Ulit pa nito na hindi man lang ako tiningnan.
I saw her silhouette on the couch. She's laying on it while her arms are covering her eyes.
Natatakot man ako dahil hindi ako sanay sa dilim ay hinayaan ko na lang iyon. Sa halos tatlong araw naman na pananatili ako dito sa bahay ni Ember ay hindi naman niya ako palaging inuutusan. Mas okay nga iyon dahil feeling ko kung mag-uusap kami ay baka mauwi lang iyon sa awayan at sumbatan.
I silently took off my shoes at inilagay iyon ng maayos sa shoe rock. I know Ember will sanitize it after. Palagi kasi nito iyong ginagawa sa loob ng tatlong araw na nandito ako kahit wala naman akong sinasabi na gawin nito iyon.
"Have you eaten?" Hindi ko mapigilan na itanong dito. Lalo pa at nagpatake out talaga ng pagkain si Ate Leigh kanina para dito. "Ate Leigh asked me to bring you these.. edibles."
Mula sa hawak kong pagkain ay umangat yung mukha ko para tingnan kung interesado ba ito.
"Just put it in the fridge. I'll just reheat it pag nagutom ako."
Kahit hindi naman ako nito nakikita ay tumango na lang ako. Ito naman ay tumagilid patalikod sa direksyon ko. Indikasyon na ayaw na nito makipag usap pa.
I'm used to it. Ganito din naman ito nung mga bata pa kami. Pag ayaw nito makipag usap ay maglalagay na ito ng headphones. O kaya naman ay earplugs pag ayaw nito makinig sa klase. Ember is too intelligent for her age. She's having a hard time that time on not to correct our professors for teaching us based by the book and it's curriculum na kadalasan ay kulang o di kaya naman ay mali.
I even remembered her telling our Math professors that the problem we're solving that time was wrong. So it's normal that no one got the correct answer. Galit na galit noon yung professor namin at pinatawag sa prefect of the discipline si Ember matapos itong ireklamo. Ember defended herself but got sanctions afterwards. Tita Grant came rushing at the school telling they all suck and she'll transfer Ember to other school because ours can't handle a genius like her. But Ember insisted that she'll just serve the two weeks clean-up sanction and will stay.
But after that incident, Ember no longer listens to class. She's either sleeping or pretending listening with earplugs on. I felt sorry for her. She should have been commended for that but was shamed for being a smart-ass. Well, given that nobody wants a smart-ass. Siguro isa iyon sa kabulukan ng sistema. The school org does not want any form of questioning from the students. At kung sakaling in-admit ng mga ito na mali nga sila, it will lesses the credibility of the teachers and the school itself.
"You know.." mahinang bulong ko. Tatalikod na sana ako para tunguhin yung kusina nang mapatingin ako ulit dito. I heard her whimpered sniffs and muffled coughs. "-you should sleep in your room. Masyadong malamig dito. Sisipunin at uubuhin ka."
I stared at her again, expecting for any retort. Pero gaya kanina ay wala pa din itong imik na nakatalikod lang sa direksyon ko.
Inilock ko na lang yung pinto. Siguro naman ay hindi na ito lalabas dahil anong oras na din.
"I'm locking the door now. Hindi ka na naman na lalabas di ba?"
Again, Ember didn't say anything in return. Para akong nakikipag usap sa hangin. Pero itinaas nito yung kamay nito to confirm.
"Tell me if you need anything. I'll be just in my room."
As I was about to turn my back after giving up in building small talk with her ay saka naman ito nagsalita.
"A-Ate.." I immediately turn myself towards her. Gaya kanina nakatalikod pa din ito. But her cries are more audible now. "I-I mean, Cray." Suminghot pa ulit ito na para bang bata. It reminds me of good old days. When I was the person she's running to to tell things that she can't talk to other people. When I was the person she always seek.
"May problema ba?" Halos pabulong din na sabi ko. Not really sure if this talk will improve our current relationship right now. But it's making me nervous. Feeling ko kakausapin lang ako nito dahil may nangyaring di maganda.
"R-Rebem died."
Sa sinabi nito ay awtomatikong nabuhay ko yung ilaw. Halos pareho pa kaming nasilaw nang bumaha yung liwanag sa kabuuan ng sala. Nang makaadjust yung mata ko ay noon ko lang napagtuunan yung kasalukuyang ayos ni Ember.
Namumugto na yung mga mata nito sa walang tigil na pag-iyak. Gusot gusot yung damit nitong pantulog na suot pa nito kaninang umaga. Halatang di pa ito naliligo. Magulo din yung buhok nito. Namumula yung mga pisngi at nagdurugo yung kamay.
Yung ibabaw naman ng center table ay may mga basag basag na bote ng alak na marahil ay ininom nito kanina. May mga patak pa iyon ng natuyong dugo.
"H-How?" Halos hindi lumabas yung salitang iyon sa bibig ko.
Rebem is her fennec fox. I am a witness at how Ember loves that little monster. Lalo pa at palagi itong umuuwi noon sa Isla every weekends para bisitahin yung alaga nito na tanging sa isla lang hinahayaan ni Tita Grant na manatili.
Nanginginig yung labi na bahagyang umiling lang si Ember. Sunod sunod pa din yung pagtulo ng luha nito.
I immediately cross our distance para aluin ito. Rebem is the only pet she's keeping close. Ember is socially inept. That's why Tita Grant gave her Rebem on her fifteenth birthday. Ember's first responsibility is keeping Rebem safe and alive. Which really played a good role.
But now he's gone.
And Ember is breaking at the mere thought.
"Hey, it's okay. Rebem will be fine wherever he is right now."
Tila batang isinubsob lang ni Ember yung mukha nito sa pagitan ng balikat at leeg ko. I can feel my skin getting wet from her endless cries.
"N-No. N-No!" Sunod sunod na umiling ito. "He can't die just like that. He haven't bid me goodbye yet."
"E-Ember.."
"Why are they all good at leaving me without saying goodbyes? Is it really so hard?"
"E-Ember.."
Umangat yung luhaang mukha nito. At this proximity, I can smell the liquor from her breath. But no, It wasn't offensive. She still smells like a peppermint cognac in a summer heat. Gaya ng alak na ipinupuslit nito noon tuwing summer.
"He's all I've got, Cr-Cray." Ramdam ko yung padaklot na hawak nito sa hem ng damit na suot ko. At dahil puti iyon, tumalsik na din yung dugo mula sa sugat nito.
"No, Ember." Umiling din ako. "You still got me too. I'm your best friend. Remember?"
Tumitig lang ito sakin na para bang pinag-aaralan yung sinseridad ko. I'm starting to feel unease with her stares.
"Let me get you treated." Masuyong hinaplos ko yung ulo nito para pakalmahin ito at basagin yung paraan ng pagtitig nito sakin ngayon. "Maupo ka na muna. Kukuhain ko yung medkit nat-"
