Existence Denied

CHAPTER 8

Silence reigned supreme in the bedroom.

Lorraine crossed to him then knelt at his feet. Jared sat on the chair, one leg still free of his pants. Her words had frozen him into immobility. Finally, he shook his head, gave up on the pants, and faced his wife.

"You mind repeating that? Because we haven't filed any paperwork to create life. How could you be pregnant? Is this another lie?"

Lorraine shook her head, the red strands of hair covering parts of her face. She spoke, but the answer wasn't to the question he'd asked. "Jared, asthore, do you remember reading about how the world use to be before the Existence Bringer and Death arrived? Births were planned and accidental. People gambled on games of chance. Some died in freak accidents, by sickness, or suddenly without any known cause. Diseases came and went. That world was one of random. No one but the gods knew when they'd die or who would live."

"We've eradicated chance happenings. Unlike our ancestors, we made the world perfect. People don't have sudden deaths or accidentally die. They don't gamble or take chances because it's all..." Jared sought the right words. "It's all pre-destined. Even diseases don't have the same brevity as they once did. We can usually predict—"

"Asthore, we're like robots. Our lives are programmed for us, and we follow the script. But something's changed. Years ago, I would have never considered these kinds of thoughts. Years ago, I never would have imagined getting preggers without applying for the 'proper application,' but it's happened." Lorraine gazed up at him, her green eyes shimmering with tears. "The system we've lived by is failing. And thinking independently, feeling like I have a say in my destiny feels... liberating. I'm not sure I want to go back."

Jared sighed. "It still doesn't explain how you can be pregnant."

Still, she did not answer. Only gave orders. "Jared, you have your life monitor here. You haven't turned it back in since you've been in the death group. Don't take my bleeding word for it. Test for yourself."

Couples granted life usually came back to the life group after the first trimester for the staff to confirm the creation of a living issue. The visit, a formality from days gone by, had not been abolished as it gave expectant parents a moment to shine. Confirming life status had been one of the high points of Jared's former department. True, he'd kept the palm-sized box as a memento of better days. It only needed his thumbprint to activate. The rest was simple.

Point the unit at the mother, then read the number on the screen.

Jared gazed at his teary-eyed wife for a moment before slipping on his pants.

He retrieved the life monitor from his old work satchel that sat in the corner of the bedroom.

Jared activated the unit, and to test its accuracy, pointed the small box at himself. The device beeped, and the screen displayed, 'One.'

Taking a deep breath, he turned to his wife, who stood, arms at her sides.

Once again, he activated the unit then pointed the device at his wife.

The unit beeped. Slowly, he held up the tiny screen and read the number, 'Two.'

Jared dropped the box from fingers that had gone numb. He gazed at his wife with a look of love, amazement, and fear tangled into one.

"Sweet Lorraine."

"Asthore."

*****

His arms cradled Lorraine as they lay wrapped together. Occasionally he would lift his head to kiss her forehead and feel the caress of her lips on his bare shoulder. At that moment, the world rich with mayhem and deceit had been kicked out of the sanctity of the bedroom. Jared felt whole and, for once, complete.