Unfit to Be the Heroine

Emotions We Kept in Boxes

So, when you're feeling down. You don't have to worry because I won't invalidate your feelings. 

I woke up with the sound of my alarm clock. I noticed that Nanami hasn't chat me lately. Is she that busy? I tried to call her but her phone was turned off. I went to the bathroom to wash my face. Staring at my dull expression, I remembered Nanami's bright aura. Someone placed her arms around my shoulders. "Good morning! You're going to be late for work. Did you take your breakfast?", she asked. "I am planning to do it at work", I brushed my teeth. "You're not having a good breakfast! You need to fatten up", she lectured about breakfast being the most important meal of the day. 

I just listened to her chatterings. She sounded like she's doing fine. "I'm so happy that I became a teacher", she suddenly opened. I gargled and looked straight into her eyes. "So that I can pry into my students' love life", she laughed. I sighed and prepared my clothes.

We got out of the house and rode in Dad's car. He's usually early but he said he can at least slack for thrice a year. This is one of the days he said he will do it. I looked at Nanami's face reflected in the mirror. "Do you think his father will notice our bluff?", I asked. "You should just be you, Rin-rin. Whatever is the reason why Kai asked you that favor, it means that he believes in you", she closed her eyes. I removed the flowery topper and grabbed on her gray ones. "It doesn't suit me, right?", I smiled. Nanami chuckled and happily wore my topper. 

I went out first and made my way to the office.

So, where are we going next week?

Hawaii will be good. 

What about we just stay at home and eat some ice cream while binging in animes?

They are still planning on their summer vacation. "Good morning, Kawamatsu. You look a little different today", Iwami noticed. I forgot to wash off my make-up. I will do that later. "Good morning. Everyone seems lax today", I was referring to our colleague just standing next to the coffee maker. "They're probably daydreaming about the summer vacation", Iwami shrugged. "How about you, Iwami-san?", I asked while I dropped my bag on my table. He suddenly flushed. "I am busy preparing for our summer festival date", he shyly answered. "Oh. I heard there will be a great storm incoming", Yosaku-san leaned on the top of the divider. "Also, maybe the summer festival will be canceled because some pop singers will hold a concert", Reiko-san passed by. "Who cares about some pop-singers!?", Iwami sounded irritated. 

I opened my PC and started working. This is bad, as time passes by, my heart kept increasing its beating rate. The clock hit 5:00 and we're meeting after an hour. I went to the toilet to wash my face and freshen up. 

"Are you meeting your boyfriend's parents?", Reiko-san popped out from nowhere and washed her hands on the sink. "What made you say that?", I kept my composure. "You looked like me when I was about to meet my in-laws. I was fidgety and I kept looking at the clock", Reiko-san explained. "I'm not", I shook my head. "Whatever. When you meet them, make sure to appreciate them well", she winked and left the toilet. 

I went down the building and saw someone waiting outside. I ran fastly. "You didn't have to run", he said with concern. He's wearing a neat suit and his hair was perfectly bunned. "I am sorry that I wore such baggy clothes", I bowed. "You look great, Kawamatsu. Also, would it be okay to call you on a first-name basis?", he asked. I nodded. He opened the car door and waited for me to enter. 

He started the engine and we were silent for some time. As we move along the road, he played some music and it soothes my anxiety. "Kai. You should also call me that way", Hiroshi permitted. "Uhm", I nodded but I still can't bring myself. "We never met in the middle. My father and I", he opened. "Were you on bad terms?", I asked. "I don't know. I haven't asked his side to know if we are", he answered. "I just came from the office. The boss scolded your father for being late", he informed. "He said he wanted to get scolded every once in a while", I sighed. "Your father is an interesting fellow", he chuckled. 

We ended in front of that huge gate again. The butlers opened it and we parked near the house where we once visited. Hiroshi opened the door and I stepped out. They changed few things in the house. There are more plants and the pond became bigger. He led the way. This is bad. I can hear my heartbeat. He offered his hand. I hesitantly took it. This will be the first time I will hold a man's hand except for my dad. His hands are huge. The warmth of his hand made me relax. The maids were looking at him with such judging eyes. I tightened my grip on him. What else did he feel when he was living in this house?

I was a miscalculation. 

"My cousin!", Nobunaga-san appeared in front of us. I still remember his face. "Oh. It's a different girl this time", he looked at me intently. "Oh, you're that depressed girl from a few years ago", he pointed out. Hiroshi headbutted him. "Leave us alone, will you?", he threatened him with a look. "Well, whatever. Whoever you bring here, you should expect what they will say", Nobunaga suggested something from his words. 

He was raised to be perfect. 

But there was a crumple that stood out. 

We stood in front of a door and I felt a cold wind passing on my back. Hiroshi opened it. "Wait", I grabbed on his suit and he looked at me. "Is that you? Kai?", a sickly voice caught out attention. We both entered and closed the door behind. "I heard you were discharged", Hiroshi and I stood few feet away. "Come closer so I could see you", he really sounded weak. There are two cushions prepared for us. We both knelt down and looked at him lying in a futon. 

"Are you doing well, my son?", Hiroshi's father asked. "And... is Saotome with you?", he asked. I looked at his eyes but they weren't moving. I get the idea that his eyesight was taken from him. "I'm here", I tried to sound like Saotome. "Thank you for being with Kai. It's been a while since I haven't seen you. Were you scared when I tried to chase you away?", he asked. I gulped and looked at Hiroshi's furious expression. He chased Saotome away. I bet Hiroshi felt angry about that. After all, she was his beloved. "I don't think so", I bowed my head. 

"I was worried. When I saw how delicate you are, I was worried. You see. This household isn't as warm as you are. People here care about reputation as if it was the only thing they could have. You are such a lovely lady and I didn't want to see you get broken as well. Kai, sorry. I couldn't even protect someone you love like how I wasn't able to protect your mother", his voice broke. Hiroshi's expression is getting darker and darker. I wonder what he is angry about. Was he mad that his father once tried to break their relationship? Or...was it something else?

"I need to get some air", he excused himself. I was left alone. 

I took a closer look at Hiroshi's father. He's so handsome like him and he also looked condescending, unlike Hiroshi's warm aura. "Was he scared that I might hurt Saotome? Is that why he brought a different woman?", his father suddenly asked. Can he see? "I was temporarily blinded but the doctor said it will return soon. He said it was caused by a rupture in my nerves", he explained. I gulped and went closer. "I now to see where Hiroshi got his caring nature", I sat properly. "I apologize for trying to deceive you", I bowed my head. "How is he? How is Kai doing?", his father coughed. I raised the blanket to cover his chest area. "Kai... I mean... Hiroshi-san always had complicated things surrounding him", I held into my arms. 

"What do you mean by that?", his father turned in my direction. 

"He's strong and yet he's fragile. He's honest and yet he's a liar. He's nice but sometimes his being too nice is painful. He's warm but he's also vulnerable with feeling cold. He's caring but he's not careful with himself. He's kind but he's harsh with his own self", I covered my face. 

He's just like her. 

"Thank you for trying to understand him. You get him perfectly, young lady. I hope I was able to understand him also", his father started to have tears in his eyes. 

"Does he hate me?", he finally asked something I was nervous about answering. 

"It must be presumptuous of me to assume but I don't think Hiroshi-san does. Although he stayed with his mother, I think he was stopping himself to feel guilty because he could have all the reason to demand your love and attention. I think he cares so much about you that he wanted to distance himself. Because...", I reached into his father's hand. When he reached out into that empty space, was he trying to reach into this hand. 

"He doesn't want a crumple to stand out", I felt warm tears strolling from my eyes.