lifetime

library

Paano ba natin masasabing sayang?

Kapag yung mga bagay na muntik-muntikan naging muntik lang talaga habang buhay?

"Ma I wanna go to Maldives on my birthday." I said while we were having our dinner.

"Don't you wanna celebrate here with your friends, Lauren?" My mother asked me.

Umiling ako. "We can also have a party when I get home." I answered.

Tumango lamang ang aking Ina.

I always get what I want. Nang walang kahirap-hirap o pakikiusap. Kapag gusto ko makukuha ko.

Maliban sa isa.

Sayang ba?

"Yeah you are all invited!" I flipped my hair before sitting while all of my classmates were shouting. Most of them are happy but some are shocked. Maybe they are still processing what I just said but I don't care. No one wants to miss my birthday. They all want to see me in my gowns.

When the class calm down lumingon ako upang tingnan ang paborito kong tao.

He's there. His eyes are looking at his notes. He is always calm, neat, silent and handsome. Inayos niya ang kaniyang salamin at kinunot ang noo animo'y hindi niya nagugustuhan ang binabasa ngunit babalik din sa ayos na para bang nalinawan na siya at naiintindihan na ang binabasa.

Alam kong narinig niya ako nang sinabi kong gusto kong lahat ay invited sa birthday ko. Alam ko ring hindi niya pwedeng palagpasin lamang iyon. But I want to make sure that he is really going.

"Pupunta ka ba, Evan?" Sinadya ko siya sa library nang matapos ang aming klase. I know he is always here. I don't know what's so good in here. Sobrang tahimik at nakakaantok.

Mag-isa lamang ako kapag pupuntahan ko siya. No one knows I like him and I don't have the courage to tell anyone either. Ayaw ko ring malaman niya... sa ngayon.

Naupo ako sa harapan niya bago pa siya mag-angat ng tingin. He looked annoyed because of my presence.

"Saan?" Our eyes met and it was enough for my heart to skip a bit.

"Uhh... my birthday. I said everyone is in---"

"I'm sorry I'm busy." Sabi niya at bumalik sa ginagawa.

Lumaki ang mata ko sa narinig mula sa kaniya.

Did he just reject me?

"Oh okay." Para akong napahiya nang sabihin iyon. I stayed for a while hoping that he would talk to me and ask me about random things but nothing came. He continued reading as if I wasn't there.

Iniwan ko siya roon.

Three months before my birthday and I am already busy planning it. I couldn't believe that my excitement would be ruined just because he can't go. I invited him personally tapos tatanggi lang siya because he is busy. Oh come on! Isang beses lang naman ang birthday ko at kahit hindi kami magkaibigan ay magkaklase pa rin naman kami.

Lumingon muli ako at ganoon pa rin ang naabutan kong pwesto niya. Inayos ko ang upo at pinagkrus ang dalawang balikat.

I just can't accept that he can't go for my birthday! I mean I asked him myself so he shouldn't reject me.

I went to the library again but I stopped when I didn't see him on his usual spot. Bumagsak ang dalawa kong balikat nang walang maabutan sa mesa.

"I look desperate." Bulong ko sa aking sarili.

"Excuse me?" Napatalon ako nang marinig iyon. Kaagad akong lumingon handa nang pagalitan ang lalaking nanggulat sa akin.

Natigilan ako nang makita kung sino iyon.