Rants

Sadness

Loving you makes me sad. The feeling of only being appreciated when I do something for you is draining. You would rather do everything but text just to check up on me. And when I treat you how you treat me, you send me a million and one messages telling me how much you love me and want to be with me forever. It doesn't feel like that. It feel like transactional love. Nothing has changed since our first breakup. And it hurts because I love you so much. You were my first everything. Sometimes I can envision a life with you but sometimes I can't, which is sad. I can't keep loving you at the expense of me. I'm done begging you for basic communication.

Slowly but surely, I'll learn to love you from a distance.