Follow the Plot

Chapter 41

3 months later...

"Estorea... Right?" A voice called out to her.

Estorea turned around to see a man with similar looks to her. She lowered her eyes, 'This must be the rotting bacteria.'

She looked back up, the look of disgust in her eyes gone. She smiled brightly, "Yes, I'm Estorea. You are... My father?"

He nodded, shifting in his seat, a cold look in his eyes. "I called you here because I wanted to inform you that we are hosting a debut ball for you in a week."

Estorea gasped, covering her mouth. "Really?! Oh my, what an honour!" She bowed down, expressing her gratitude, "Thank you so much, dear father! I shall appreciate this for the rest of my life!"

The real Estorea, however, had opposing feelings to this. A debut? Has it already arrived? The moment where she will go to school after the debut and start being manipulated by her sister to do terrible things to others because of her love at first sight for the crown prince?

'Tsk. I didn't expect it to come so soon. I hope Kieran better hurry up for the... war...'

Her father waved his hand, "It's nothing. It's the least I could do for my daughter after all." The look in his eyes shifted to affection. Estorea felt feelings of disgust when she saw that.

What an Oscar-worthy bacteria! Just exactly like father and daughter, how ironic.

Just then, a thought appeared in her mind, 'Could Yula have grown up differently if she wasn't raised by my parents?'

It was well-known that a child would have a naive mind and would follow their parent figure on whatever they think, taught and do, believing them to be right. When in reality, it's not.

It was shown in many videos that children, toddlers and babies are extremely sensitive to a person's emotions.

Parents are the only ones obligated to love the child, but for the rest of the world, they had to earn it.

So what happens if the parent figure doesn't love the child? They get emotionally neglected and can develop mental disorders in severe cases, and are often disinterested in toys and more of their surroundings.

Some of them display behaviour such as apathy and fear of adults and rocking back and forth, not interacting with other children.

A child should never feel obligated to love back their parents. Because they weren't the ones who had to ask to be brought into this world.

Estorea cleared the thoughts away, it wasn't time to get into psychology. If it is really due to the parents' influence, whose fault is it really is then?

She heard her mouth move, speaking, "I shall excuse myself now, Father." She curtsied slightly and exited the room and went back to her room.

And Estorea had control over her body again, she sighed and walked over to the armchair and sat down, leaning back. Occupied with her streaming thoughts.

There were so many unforgivable things in the world, that was the sad reality. Humans are selfish. 'Even myself. I'm the most selfish out of everyone else.'

She didn't know why she refuses to allow herself to die. But every time she thought about it, a sick feeling would erupt in her stomach and she starts to get dizzy and her vision blurs.

It's like... Her brain is repressing something.

Estorea never really thought about it, but was there a memory that was kept away in a box in her brain?

It was weird that she gets such symptoms now that she thought about dying. In her past life, she never really thought about it. She was never depressed and was perfectly okay with her life, occasionally happy.

Although, ever since she got here... Her mind has been plagued with the idea of dying. And the fact that she is unable to control her body and actions without the plot interfering is even worse.

Due to these issues and thoughts, sometimes she would have trouble sleeping and get anxiety that would keep her up all night.

She... Didn't like to self-diagnose. And even if she liked to get a proper diagnosis from a professional, that wasn't really possible considering the situation she's in.

'I don't think psychology is even known here.' She has seen many history records in the books she had read, on most mental disorders in the past being often the cause of some devil or spirit possessing the body.

Estorea couldn't help but feel extreme pity for those in the past, being born with a mental disorder and being unaware of it as well.

It must have been distressing for them to try to cope and understand why they were acting this way. Most of them could have gotten depression and died.

But according to her symptoms... Estorea suspected that she had some repressed trauma. But it's not like she knows what it is, and she can't force herself to dig it out or else who knows what will happen to her mind.

She didn't need her mental health going downhill in this situation, especially when she doesn't have any support or anything to help her cope.

Estorea scratched her head in frustration, 'Let me go through my memories to see if I have any situations.'

She closed her eyes and started combing through her memories.

Looking through each one slowly one by one, she managed to catch something.

It was the time when she was crossing the road and she almost got hit by a car.

She had fallen on her feet, trembling and soon passed out and woke up in the hospital.

'I never really thought much about my reaction... I assumed it was just me being scared of almost getting hit by the car...'

She let out a sigh, a few hours had passed since it takes quite a while to look through all her memories.

"I better go shower." She got up and went off to go to the bathroom so that she can go to sleep and retire for the night.

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A/N: Hello there! The author here, first of all, I must emphasise strongly that I believe fully that mental illnesses, conditions are extremely important and should not be made fun of whatsoever!

Trauma is also not something to be taken lightly as it can take a whole effect on the brain.

So, whoever is suffering from it.  I give you my sincerest support in living through with it! I believe in you. You can do it.

See you!