"When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside."
July 13th, 1985
"How have you and Roger been?" Being back in England and seeing Queen posters everywhere due to their undeniably noticable prescnce at the upcoming event, I was doing my best to avoid thinking about Freddie. By now I should be getting over it, and the only way to distract my mind was to direct my attention to a member of the band I hadn't fucked.
Jenny's grip loosned on my arm as Dominque returned from the clothing store carrying bags full of new dresses. My best friend returned her hands to her lap as I unlocked the car doors. "We're doing fine, Colt." She swerved her head to the side before lowering it and fiddiling with her fingers. "Things have just been.. hard with the distance. But we'll work it out."
It was clearly too painful for her to spit out the real reason for hr relationship troubles. It obiously had to do with Freddie and I's "split" but she didn't want to add on to my suspicions that I was in the way of her relationship. Roger and Jenny liked eachother, and the last thing I'd wanna do is ruin it for them.
"Hey." Dominque said as she got back in the car. She handed her dresses over to Jenny before she fastended her seat belt. "We'd better get going babe. Or else we'll be late."
"Try to shorten the shopping spree next time then." Jenny grumbled, pursing her lips to show her dissaproval. Oh boy. These two have never gotten along, but it's been worse lately. Not even under the most dire circumstances would these two have anything nice to say about eachother.
Dominque scoffed before turning to me. "Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?"
"Could you two just have five minutes where you don't fight?" I replied, hoping she'd drop it then, but that comment backfired on me pretty quickly.
"You always take her side." Dominque snapped before crossing her arms over her chest. "So this is what it'll be like our whole fucking marriage? I'll always come second to her?"
"Would you just shut up?!" Jenny suddenly shouted from the backseat. "Do you have any idea how much he's sacraficed for you? Your repuation?"
"Jenny!" I suddenly realised what she was reffering to, and that she'd had this speech prepared for my parents as well if I'd gotten into a fight with them. "Please don't do this. Please."
"What's she talking about Colt?" Domiqnue turned from Jenny to myself. "What does she mean Colt?"
"Let's just fucking drop it okay? It doesn't matter."
Wembly Staduim
"Roger!" Jenny exlaimed, running into the arms of her boyfriend, who was relaxing my his drumset and formally chatting with his bandmates. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too." He replied before kissing her. After they parted, Roger turned to Dominque and I. "Colt! How's it going man? Oh you must be Dominque! It's so nice to finally meet you! Colt talks endlessly about you."
"Oh." She giggled nervously.
"All good things. Don't worry." Brian added, stretching out his hand so she could shake it. "I'm Brian May, by the way."
"Oh I know who you guys are." She assured, finally beginning to reve up some exictment. "Colt speaks very highly of you all."
I waved to John who was in the corner talking with Jenny and Roger. The final member of Queen Jenny had to meet was the leader, the frontman, and the man I'd fucking cheated on her with.
Freddie.
He didn't seem to notice us yet despite all the conversation surronding my presence. Mary Austin was running over some last mintue details and preperations with him, so he was well distracted. For a short while, at least. And I was doing completly fine, until he looked my way.
I felt like I was going to faint. My head fell weightless and my vision only focused on his eyes meeting my own; all else was invisbale.
"Colt are you okay?" My hearing finally returned at the demand of my fiancees voice. Freddie was still looking at the two of us, Mary was holding onto his arm tightly to provide sympathy. I could only imagine what she thinks of me now after what I put Freddie through.
"Yeah. I'm just uh..heh. Nervous I guess." I did my best to come up with a reasonable excuse, but everyone who knew me knew I didn't get stage fright. I mean, I don't have the guts to show my ass like Angus Young, but I'm not a wussy.
"Since when do you get stage fright?" Dominque inquired. "You've been performing since you were a kid."
"It comes on suddenly." I answered instantly, hoping not to comprimise my fading credibility. "I'll be fine, it'll pass."
The feelings went away as soon as Freddie left the area, which I was greatful for since my set was starting in five minutes. I turned to Dominque and Jenny, who gave me a smile and a thumbs up. Behind Dominuqe stood my parents, sharing a similar exitcment to my best friend and fiancee.
I tried not to think about the presence of Freddie, my only strategy was to keep my attention on the crowd. Which worked until I sang Doll Parts, the song I'd poured my heart and soul in to for him.
I finished with About A Girl, the song I'd dedicated to Jenny. I stepped away from the microphone, doing my besg not to cry as I walked off the stage; my gutair hanging loosly around my waist.
"You did great son!" My father said, a smile greeting me as I arrived backstage. My mother pulled me into a hug, placing a kiss on my cheek.
"Thanks guys." I made my way back further to greet Jenny and Dominque.
By now, Queen had began entering the stage. It was almost like a car crash I couldn't look away from. Everything was moving in slow motion as I watched Freddie prance toward the piano, showing off his flawless skills of interacting with the audience who adored him. I found myself checking him out for a split second but instantly caught myself and stared up at the sky until I could get my shit together.
"Mama... just killed a man." Those first lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody always killed me. (No pun intended, of course.) "Put a gun to his head. Pulled my trigger now he's dead." He inhaled deeply before allowing the next lyrics to flow out of him. "Mama.. life had just begun. But now I've gone and thrown it all away."
The next lyrics hit too close to home. "I don't wanna die. Sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all."
Bohemian Rhapsody will always be the song that will make the whole fucking world cry like little girls. Cherry used to cry over it for hours, and I don't blame him.
They played some more upbeat songs too, like Hammer To Fall, We Will Rock You and Fat Bottomed Girls. Freddie then took a sudden uturn. I'd expected anything but this. "Why don't we see if we can get Colt Sparrow out here again, huh?"
I shook my head, but he didn't want to take no for an answer. "Oh cmon lets get him out here... Colt... Colt... Colt. Just for one song Colt I've never sang with you."
The whole audience was wanting me out there again, and this would be the first and last time I'll ever sing with him. "Okay okay fine." I couldn't help but notice how his face glowed when I agreed to walk back onstage again. "Okay okay you've got me out here. Not thinking that's where your plan ends, though."
He shook his head with a wide smile on his face as he turned around to say something to his bandmates. Freddie signalled me to follow him to the piano. I was confused why, but I obeyed his instructions anyways. He sat down on the bench and began to play the opening of "We Are The Champions."
"I've paid my dues.. time after time..." he began, soft but powerful
simultaneously. He turned to me, so I took care of the next words.
"I've done my sentance. But comitted no crime." Ouch.
We sang the chorus together, and it gave an undying rush as we proceeded through the anthem. "We are the champions! We are the champions! No time for losers cuz we are the champions. Of the world."
The crowd roared after we'd finished. I was riding high on the extra extacy I was given, but it soon hit me what the appluse meant-- in a negative way. It was over now. It was really over. "Goodbye Freddie."
My hand was held over the microphone so the crowd couldn't hear. "Colt.. plese don't do this.."
"We've talked about this already, Freddie." I shook my head, not even looking him in the eye and I made my way backstage again. It was time for this to end, it was time to go home, and to start my new life. I'll never forget Freddie, and at least our love ended the best way it could. With music, and onstage. The time I spent with Freddie will be the best time of my life. It will always be that way.
