TUMHE DEKHNE KI BIMARI

part1

[12 O'clock at night. AS is making his bed and talking to his mother on phone]
AS:Maa...hum khana kha liya hai..bilkul chinta maat ke jiye.... aap waha jashna ka maza lijiye...haan,so rahe hai..lekin fo raat se thik se neend nehi aa raha hai...kya haseena ji ko sapne me?maa,aap bhi na!aap phone rakhiye...haan rakhte hai...
[The call dismissed]
AS:Ab apko kyse bataye ki do raat se woh humare ghar atee hai..12 baj gaya...matlab unka aane ka vakt aa gaya...aasha karte hai aaj nehi ayee.....(the door bell rings)
aa gayaa😰😩
[AS opens the door frightenedly.It was HM.Her hair is messy. She is looking drunked]
AS:Aaaa...haseena ji!! aa...aaj phir se agaya aa..aap??
[HM pushes him and enters the house and direct goes to AS's room]
HM:(drunken tone)kaha thaa na apko....humse apko itne asaani se chutkana nehi milega....
AS:Woh toh dikh hi raha hai😥
HM:(Coming close to AS) Yaad hai woh coffee peena adhura reh gaya tha?
(Childishly)aaj humme coffee peena hai...jayiye bana ke layiye...
AS:Baas itni si baat ke liye aap raat ko humare ghaar kyun aate hai?
HM:(anger)kyun hum nehi sakte? apne humara dil toda aur hum apko itna asani se chod denge?apko pata hai apne humara dil kyse toda?(taking a flower vase)....ese tod diya apne
[She was going to break vase but AS catches it quickly]
AS:Haan!haan!samajh gaye..samajh gaye kyse toda... lekin isko maat
todiye... varna mataji humme tod denge!
HM:Hahah....hum apka ek man pasand chiz tod rahe thee isse apko itna bura lag raha hai...toh sochiye humme kysa lag raha thaa?[She cries and lies on the bed]
apko para hai kitna khwab dekha thaa apko lekar humne aur apne kya kiya..... (crying)
[AS sits beside HM and holds her hand]
AS:Humme pata hai humne apke saath galat kiya lekin iss keliye aap har raat sharab maat pijiye...
HM:(Shouting) sau baar piyenge...
[AS frightens. HM comes closer gradually to him scolding and he is almost lying down]
HM:Apka kya?kaun hote hai aap humme rokhne ka??
AS:Nehi nehi hum koi nehi hote...lekin aal kripya karke pagalpan bandh kijiye...aap ek kaam kijiye..aap....aap so jayiye...hum apke sar pad champi karte hai...haan?
[HM was still crying.AS keeps her head on his lap and massages her head.HM is still mumbling. AS leaves a sigh]

[It's almost 4am.Both them are sleeping.HM is still on AS's lap.She wakes up]
HM:mm....humme ghar jana hai...
AS:(Waking up)hmm....kya?
[He looks at the clock]
AS:(Thinking)Pata thaa har raat aap 12 baje aate hai aur 4 baje chale jaate hai...adbhut!
HM:(Shouting)Humme ghar jana hai..!!!!
AS:Haan!chaliye apko chod dete hai...
HM:Nehi humme khud hi janaa...
AS:Arey!aaccident hojaya haseena ji!!ayiye Hum apne gaari se apko chod dete hai...
HM:Apke gaari lekar hi toh hum akele jayene....
AS:Nehii!!!🤯
HM:Hahah!mazak kar rahe hai...peechle do raat hum khud gaye thena?aaj bhi jayenge..aur haan! peeche aane ka koushish bhi maat karna...kal phir milenge...
[HM leaves AS's house staggerly]
AS:Ufff!!😔
aaj haseena ji se baat karna hi padega...
[It's already morning in mpt.SS is trying to bring the file down for shelf but it was too high]
SS:Chitte,madat karna...
CC:Santu ji!hum aa rahe hai...apko god le rahe hai...aap woh file layiye...(he was going to touch her waist)
SS:Chitte,kya kar rahe hai tu??tu itna lamba hai...khud hi file lake dena mujhe....
CC:Oooh!!😔
[SS and CC turns other side and afraids to watch PS with her messy hair]
SS&CC:Aaaa!!!!!!
PS:Arey!yeh hum hai....Pata nehi karishma ji kab dhang se bike chalana sikhega..
KS:Accha?
CC SS PS:jai hind!
KS:pushpa ji!!agaar esa hai toh aap bike kyun nehi chala lete....nehi matlab apko subha subha humara peeche parna ek habit ban gaya kya?
PS:Hum peeche parte hai?aap toh uss din se humare peeche pare hai jiss shaadi karke humare ghar ayee the...uss din se toh humare bhag hi fut gaye😩
KS:Dekhiye.......
Unknown voice:Excuse me,hasi hai kya?
[A gentleman of around 50 years old enters.
He is smart with coat pant and spectacles, healthy figure]
CC:hasi?
Man:I mean haseena mallik!yaha ka sho!
SS:oh!aap haseena madam ki baat kar rahe hai?unho ne abhi taak aya nehi!
KS:hum hai SI karishma Singh!apko report likhwana hai toh aiye...
Man:nehi nehi...report nehi.. hum toh....
[HM enters and recognises the man]
HM:Mamuji?
All:hai hind!
HM :jai hind!! maamuji!aap yaha aa gaye?
Man:haan, hasi,yeh medicines de ne ke liye...
PS:kyun?aap bimar hai maddam sir?
HM:nehi!baas thoda sar dard hai...raat ko badhta hai...aur yeh hai humare mamaji, hum pyaar se mamuji bulate hai...mamuji psychatrist hai...aur bahut accha scientist bhi...
Mj:haan haan,bahut tarif ho gaya..hasi,aab chalo..yeh medicines rakhlo...ek dose lunch ke baad, aur iska ek dose abhi kha lo...aur raat ko toh...
HM:mamuji,aab baas bhi kijiye...humare treatment ke liye toh aap humare ghar hi ruk gaye...aab thane bhi?
Mj:dekho,hasi,tumahre liye hum tumhare ammi ke pass daant nehi kha sakte....lo aab acche bacche ki tarah kha lo...(he gives a tablet)
HM:accha,thik hai...(she haves the tablet)
Mj:that's like my good girl,hasi!aap log plz dekhiye ga...yeh thik se medicine le ta hai ya nehi...
HM:mamuji,hum bacche hai kya?
Mj:usse bhi chota,khudka khyaal rakh sakte ho tum?medical me ek term hai superwoman syndrom...I don't want you fall into that disease aur superwoman hasi ban jao!
SS:ow!maddam sir,yeh hasi naam bahut cute hai!
HM:thanks!
Mj:hai na?hum toh chahte thee ki iska naam hasi hi rakh de...according to psychology, insaan ka personality uske naam ke upar bahut depend karta hai...
CC:haan,aur future bhi...
Mj:psychology student?
CC:ji😊
Mj:hmm...I appreciate
CC:😊😊😊
KS:aap log woh sab chodiye,hum ka keh rahe thee...maddam sir,aap itna bimar hai toh chutti le lijiye!
HM:karishma singh,itna bhi bimar nehi hai hum...
SS:maddam sir,karishma maddam chahte hai at least kuch din ke liye thane ka in charge bane...
KS:😒😒😒😒😠😠😠😠
SS:sorry sorry!!
[HM smiles]
[AS enters.He is in a cloudy face]
All:jai hind,sir!
AS:jai hind!
Mj:anuvab?woh jo mahipal ke ghar aye thee?
AS:ji,aap?
Mj:insomnia!
PS:kya nia?
SS:pushpa ji,nia nehi...insomnia!
CC:matlab raat ko neend nehi aana...lekin dsp sir ko kyun hoga?
Mj:who knows?shayaad kisike bare me soch kar(looking at HM) hai na hasi?by the way,if anything wrong,you may visit my chamber...
[AS feels disturbed]
HM:mamuji,baas bhi kijiye,sorry sir...humare mamaji hai...psychiatrist...so hamesha inke deemag me yeh sab hi...
AS:hmm...its ok
[Mj gets a missed call]
Mj:hasi,hum chalte hai...hospital jaa na hoga..phone aa rahe hai...
[Mj leaves]
AS:hasi ji....
HM:😳😳😳😳
AS:aa..haseena ji,cabin me chaliye...baate hai...
HM:sure sir!
[Others were going to do their own work.But PS pulls SS for listening AS and HM.CC also come.KS also joins]
SS:karishma madam,aap bhi!
KS:chup!
[inside the cabin]
HM:please,bethiye sir!
AS:(angrily)bethne ke liye nehi aye hai hum...baas apse yeh janna hai aap har raat ko sharab kyun peete hai?
[Other becomes astonished hearing him]
HM:kya?sir,hum thane ki SHO hai...agaar hum sharab piyenge toh jo sharab pee kar crime karte hai woh sabko kyse pakrenge?
AS:woh hi toh! dekhiye,holi ke din bhaang peena aur roz raat sharab peena ek baat nehi hai...do raat se aap sharab pee kar humare ghar aate hai...hum apke prestige ke bare mein soch kar do raat bardash kar liya...lekin hum bar bar bardash nehi kar sakte hai...
SS:(whispering) maddam sir toh ashiqui ban gaya!
KS:bhaag!
HM:sir yeh sab aap kya keh rahe hai?hum kaal raat ghar se nikle hi nehi!
CC:santu ji,humme lagta hai woh bhoooottt 👻tha!
KS:tum apna yeh topa wala zuban bandh nehi rakh sakte?
AS:aab bahana maat banaiye,aapne khud sweekar kiya hai ki aapne sharab piya hai....
HM:hum?
AS:dekhiye,haseena ji!hum nehi chahte aapka beizzati ho..isiliye  tin raat bardash kar liya...lekin aage se nehi karenge...thane me sabko aur commisioner sir se complain karenge...is that clear?
HM:sir,aapko koi galat faimmie ho raha hai...
AS:is that clear?!!!!!
HM:(humbly)yes, sir..
[No sooner had he turns behind,others act as is they are doing very important work]
[PS starts overacting]
PS:chitte,woh wala file de na!
AS:aap sab yaha kya kar rahe hai?
PS:(overacting) hum?hum toh yaha file dhoond rahe thee...
AS:haseena ji ke kamre ke samne esa kaunsa file hai jo sab mil kar yaha sanyukt hue hai?
PS:yeh toh karishma ji ko pata hai
KS:amma humne kab kaha apko yaha aane ke liye..
PS:aapne hi toh...
[They continue their quarrel and AS leaves totally ignoring them]
HM:(thinking)yeh sir ko kya hogaya?sach me uske ghar hum hi gaye thee ya koi aur?

[That midnight,again doorbell rings in AS's house.This time HM was very angry and of course drunken]
AS:haseena ji,phir s...
HM:(shouting)aapko hum nehi chodenge!!!!aapke himmat kyse hui humme blackmail karne ki!aap commissioner sir se complain karenge na?
[She goes to ruin the wall where AS desighned and planned for other mission]
AS:nehi nehi!haseena ji,woh dusre mission ke...
HM:(ruinning that)lijiye,aab aap commissioner sir se daant khayenge!
AS:nehi!😩
[HM throws a show pieces to AS and he somehow survives.Then she keeps thorwing and throwing]
HM:aapka koi bhi cheez yaha nehi rahega!dsp ban gaye toh jo man karega aap woh hi karnge?
AS:hum kaha kuch kar rahe hai?aap hi toh sab tod rahe hai!
HM:tod dungi,sab tod dungi!
[She throws all the pillows, tears the bed sheet,breaks the mirror.Then,she was going to break a earthen pot]
AS:haseena ji,woh wala nehi,woh wala todenge toh mataji humme ghar se nikal degi!!!
HM:nikal jaiye!!!!(she breaks that)
AS:arey!woh wala karishma Singh ne diya tha... woh tod denge toh karishma humme mar dalega!
HM:abhi mar jaiye aap!!!
[She breaks that too]
[AS holds her arms tightly and HM tries to get rid off]
AS:haseena ji,shaant shaant!!
HM:(shouting)nehi samjahte aap kyun kar rahe hai?jab man chahe jese man chahe humme dhamki denge aur hum bar bar chup rahenge?nehi rahenge hum!!!chodiye
humme! chodiye!!!(she bites AS)
AS:aaah!😖
[Then,he could not but to erase her and HM starts breaking stuffs more agrressively]