You're not Steve

Not Camping

Chapter 67

Peter's Pov:

"Peter Parker, to the office, Peter Parker." The ceiling speakers cackle out my name and the class goes 'oooo'

"Someone's in trouble." Flash sings smugly and I give him a smile as I grab my bag.

"Good luck, dude. Let me know how it goes." Ned whispers to me as I stand up.

"Thanks Ned."

I make it to the office and see Loki heatedly talking with Morita.

"Hi Loki!" I wave and Morita's eyes go wide.

"I told you he's my child you foolish mortal. Now if you'll excuse me," He whispers to Morita. "Peter! Let's go." He pushes past Morita, flipping his hair as he passes by.

"How was your day of school? I really don't know how you spend everyday here, it's disgusting." Loki gestures to the wet balls of toilet paper stuck to the ceiling and the dried chewing gum on the floors.

"It was fine, a bit boring but that's not new."

Loki nods, "Stephens testing us all on stuff before we leave. Most of us are done packing, there's a list - you'll see."

°°°

"Is this everything?" Stephen asks, gesturing to the large collection of duffel bags and hiking backpacks surrounding him.

We're gathered in the lobby, formed in a half circle around Stephen, Steve, and the bags. Everyone's wearing their pyjamas, following the suggestion of Rhodey after I asked where we were going to get changed.

"We're staying one night at the park. The park that's a 10 minute walk from here. Why do we have this much stuff?"

"To be fair, ten minutes is a long walk."

"No it isn't!"

Are we missing anything?" Stephen asks again.

"Marshmallows?"

"Yes." Stephen points to a purple backpack.

"Blankets?"

"The mosquito thing?"

"Yes and yes." Steve points to the green duffel bag and multiple backpacks.

"Shovel?" Nat asks.

"Why would we need a shovel?"

"Hold up, where were you going to go to the washroom?" Scott looks slightly concerned.

"Why would you need a shovel for that?"

"Have you never been camping?" Clint laughs.

"We're not going camping!"

"I have too been camping! There was a port-a-potty!"

"What type of camping is that, last time I went there was a luxury washroom."

"And I repeat, have you never been camping?" Clint sighs as Pietro cackles, earning a few creeped glances.

"We are not going camping!"

"Sure feels like it." Wanda shrugs pointing to the pile of bags.

"We. Are. Staying. The. Night. At. A. Public. Park."

"Wait, is that even legal?"

"We're the Avengers man."

"That doesn't make it legal."

"Okay. Moving on! Yes we have a shovel. Anything else?"

"Let's see..." Scott points to a green bag, "portable vinyl player, both Phoebe Bridgers albums, bbq Pringles, redbull," Scott points to his Crocs and pajamas, "My Crocs and skeleton onesie." Scott gestures to the tent, "Tent, yup I think we're all good!"

"Okay why are you so obsessed with this Phoebe Bridgers person? And what's with the skeleton onesie?"

"You're not asking why Scott is bringing a literal vinyl player to the park?"

"Okay 1, I've always loved Phoebe Bridgers music, and I recently found you all are so uncultured and none of you appreciate her enough."

Scott pauses to take a breath, then continues.

"So I'm taking every chance I get to shamelessly promote her until you all recognize the greatness of Phoebe Bridgers. And 2, I clearly have work to do (see point one) if you don't recognize  my onesie. And 3, why wouldn't I bring my portable record player?"

"You know what let's just go."

"Do you have everything Peter?"

I gesture to my rainbow Crocs and tiger onesie. "I think so."

"Then let's go! Everyone grab a bag." Steve smiles.

We all start shuffling to the pile when I remember something.

"WAIT!" I scream.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?"

"Are you hurt?"

"I'll unalive whoever hurt you."

"Not if I beat you to it."

"No unaliving, you both know the rules."

"Fiiiiiine."

I see Bucky wink at Nat, who descreetly sends a thumbs up his way. I bite back a smile.

I step up on top the podium, making me question why there is a podium in the lobby of the Avengers Tower.

"Why is there a podium?"

"You never know when you need one." Tony shrugs smirking at Happy, who rolls his eyes.

I nod. "Okay, what about Toot?"

"What about Toot?"

"Where even is Toot?"

"TOOT?"

"TOOT KAREN PARKER GET YOUR LITTLE TURTLE BUTT DOWN HERE!"

"Do you really think that's going to work?" Steve questions.

"Of course, just give Toot a minute."

Loki flicks his wrists and we all become surrounded by green smoke.

The smoke fades and I realize we're all in thrones similar to the one Loki had at Meet The Teacher Night.

"Thank you Loki."

"My pleasure, child."

Everyone inspects their thrones.

"LOOK!" Thor grins pointing to the floor.

We all whip our heads and make eye contact with Toot.

"Thank you for joining us Toot."

"So, what are we doing about Toot?"

"Ask them."

"Toot would you like to come camping?"

"It's not camping!"

"Toot, would you like to come not camping with us?"

Toot turns their little head slightly.

Everyone screams in joy.

Loki creates Toot a mini throne.

Steve gets off his throne and passes everyone a bag then we leave.

We file out the door and onto the road.

"Campers assemble!" Steve shouts.

We all slam our buttons and zoom away from the tower.

a/n

hope everyone's having a nice day/night :)