HYBRISTOPHILIA

Chapter 3 - MEDICATION

Celeste's POV:
I sighed as I looked at my tired reflection in the mirror.

Another fucking day...

I got the little orange tube out of my bag, and poured out the little green and yellow pill.

God I hate these... they're making me fat.

I put it in my mouth, put the tap on, then got some water to take it with.

When I stood back up and turned around to leave the bathroom, I jumped as I saw Asher stood at the door frame.

"You didn't tell me you were on medication." he stated then walked over to me.

I rolled my eyes as he took the tube out of my hand and had a look at it, then frowned once he read it.

"Of course they've got you on Prozac..." he muttered, then looked up at me. "How long have you been taking it?"

"A few weeks now... why, is it bad?"

He would know... he's probably tried every pill in existence

"Yeah. I bet you feel like shit, right?"

I nodded slowly as I furrowed my brows.

Could he really tell?

"Hmm... well I'm going out for a few hours so I'll be back later. Don't do anything stupid."

Where is he going?

I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him in suspicion

"Where are you going? Can I come?"

"No." He said instantly, then turned around and left me.

Oh... well fuck him!

I may as well get wasted...

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Ashers POV:
"Good morning, Asher." Dr. Malone said as I sat on the couch opposite her chair.

"Hey..."

"How have things been? I haven't seen you since our first session."

I sighed as I looked down to my hands to think about it.

"My wife came home a couple of days ago..."

"Your wife that was institutionalised?" She questioned as she wrote something down on her little notebook.

I looked up at her blankly because of her stupid question.

"No, my other fucking wife who took a trip to the Bahamas."

She continued writing, ignoring my outburst and I began to bounce my leg up and down.

"You don't look like you wanna be here, Asher, and you didn't say a lot in our last session, so why are you here again?"

Why am I here?... I don't fucking know...

"I don't know." I shrugged, and she nodded like she understood me.

Jesus, what kinda fucking answer is that?

I'm just wasting this poor woman's time to try and make myself feel better...

"Okay... then what do you want out of these sessions?"

"I..." I began but paused, not exactly knowing what to say.

What do I want out of this?

"It's okay, take some time to think about it." She assured me softly.

I sighed as I looked around the white room filled with plants and shitty motivational quotes.

"I guess I want... to change?" I mumbled and she nodded slowly, encouraging me to continue. "I don't like who I am, and I wanna be better..."

"And what is it that you don't like about yourself?" She asked as she began writing shit down again.

I chuckled at her question as I looked back at her, finding it amusing in a fucked up way.

"Everything."

"Specifics?"

I sighed dramatically, then moved my gaze away from her.

"I don't know... I'm an alcoholic, a druggie, I'm violent, aggressive, selfish- oh and I hit my girlfriend sometimes." I shrugged as I looked back at her, waiting for her reaction, but she just nodded along as she wrote on her notebook.

"Okay, this is a good place to start." She said as she gave me a kind smile.

My face dropped as I looked at her.

Is she serious?

"Did you hear what I just said? I just admitted to abusing my girlfriend."

"I know." She said nonchalantly. "I'm a therapist, I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help. So why don't you tell me about your first experience with alcohol."

I examined her to see if she was being serious and she was.

Okay...

"I- erm... my first experience with alcohol..." I muttered to myself as I tried to think.

What was my earliest experience with alcohol?

Oh yeah... how could I forget.

"I think I was like 9? My dad and I had just- but that's not important. He took me into his office and told me it was time to stop being a little bitch. He poured me a glass of vodka- he's Russian so he loves his fucking vodka, and forced me to drink every drop of it."

"Then what happened next?"

I sighed and looked away as I tapped my fingers against the arm of the leather couch.

This is embarrassing...

"I went to my room... and cried because the vodka burnt my throat and made my head hurt... but now I could drink that shit like water."

Why am telling her all of this?...

"Mhm... can you tell me about the first time you willingly chose to drink?" She asked and I huffed.

God when was the first time I chose to drink... how am I even supposed to remember?

Oh wait...

"I think I was 11... I snuck into my dads office and stole a bottle of vodka. I took it back to my room and drank the whole thing to myself. After that, I loved it."

"And why do you think that is?"

Now this question was easy.

"It made me forget for a while..."

"Forget what, Asher? Did something bad happen to you?"

I let out a shaky breath as I stared at my hand that was now gripping the leather.

Yes...

"Well my dad used to beat me my whole childhood, so maybe it was that..." I shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, even though it kinda is.

She nodded and wrote more stuff down in that stupid fucking notebook.

I wonder what she's writing... God, I bet she thinks I'm insane...

"I think there's more... I think there's something you're not telling me." She stated as she looked back up at me, and I clenched my jaw. "Tell me about your mom."

Who does this bitch think she is?

"I'm done here."

I stood up and stormed out of the office, then left the building.

I need a fucking drink...

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I walked back into the apartment to music playing loudly throughout the whole place.

For fucks sake... I can't deal with her shit right now.

I walked in further and took my jacket off, but paused once I saw Celeste laying on the couch, passed out with her head hanging off.

I was gone for like two hours...

I looked at my phone to see it wasn't even 2 o'clock.

What the fuck was she even doing in that place?

I sighed as I walked towards her then saw the nearly empty bottle of vodka on the floor.

Fucking vodka...

I picked up the bottle and placed it on the coffee table, then lifted Celeste's unconscious body back onto the sofa, so that she was laying comfortably on the couch.

I sat beside her and looked at her passed out form.

When did things get so fucked up between us?

Maybe when I ruined her fucking life...

I sighed again, then reached over to the bottle of vodka, took the lid off, then took a few gulps.

Vodka is fucking disgusting.

Regardless of the thought, I took another sip, then another until the whole bottle was gone.

I felt Celeste move, then looked over to see her starting to wake up.

"You're back..." she slurred as she lifted her head up to look at me.

"Yeah, I'm back."

"That's... good... you make me feel happy... then sad again... so, so sad..." she giggled, then laid her head back down, passing out again.

"And don't I know it..."

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What are your guys thoughts on this story so far?
Are you guys excited about finding out more about Asher's life?

I know exactly what I want for this story, but I'm finding it difficult to put into words so please bare with me 💜

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :)