TW: sex without protection or birthcontrol
I woke up screaming.
A nightmare. Must have been the forth one tonight.
I checked the time on my phone just to see that its 4 am.
My whole body was sweating and i pulled out some of my hair, instead of sleeping again i turned on the TV hoping it would calm me down.
Before i could i heard someone walk to the living room.
I turn around just to see that its Bucky. The only person i was hoping not to see.
He makes coffee and i turn the TV on while ignoring him and his existence.
Instead of going back to his room he sat down on the chair next to the couch i was laying on.
He put a cup of coffee in front of me and started drinking his while watching the TV.
It was awkward, no one said anything. We just sat there in silence watching commercials.
"Y/N.. i am sorry. I should have told you."
I ignore him.
"I can't undo what happened but i can keep you happy... please bee. I wasn't myself. I wasn't Bucky."
He looks at me while i look away. I didn't wanna look him in the eyes. I knew it would break me.
"I remember that day. I was shown a picture of you and your family. You were so little.
I remember that i didn't want to do it so Mr. Hargreaves ram a knife through my stomach and then he said the words. After that i had no control over my body."
He started crying but he tried to hide it from me, i grabbed the cup of coffee and took a sip.
I wish i could say i was doing fine but i also started crying like a baby. I tried hiding it as well but Buck noticed
Bucky looked up at me again, "Oh god no. Please. Please don't cry doll. Can i hug you?" he was more than nervous but his emotions took overhand.
„I wish i could take all your pain and make it mine Y/N."
I looked at him as tears run down my face. He moved closer to me but didn't touch me.
His eyes were filled with tears and pain.
My blanket was covering my legs and i lifted it to show Bucky that he can come closer which he did.
We both cried into each others arms, "I'm sorry for screaming at you earlier. I shouldn't have done that."
He wipes the tears off my face while his vibranium arm was around me.
"It's okay. I deserved it, i didn't treat you right." i say as i put the blanket on both of us.
"That doesn't matter. I'm willing to fight for you and i will do anything for you to forgive me." Buck looks at me and tries to pull me in closer.
"I'm not angry at you. If it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. But the video- i- i never knew a video existed.
Seeing my brothers last moments just made me fall into a type of traumatic episode."
His hands pulled my face to his chest where i rested my eyes for a minute, was i really cuddling up with the murderer of my family?? But on the other hand he was right. It wasn't his decision. He had no control.
I started crying again but this time i held onto Buck.
"I'm sorry"
"Don't you dare apologize." Bucky grabbed my thighs so i could sit on his lap with my legs around him.
For a whole minute we had eye contact. It was the kind that you hope never breaks.
He was sweaty and to be honest so was i but we didn't care.
I slowly put my lips near his.
We kissed, a kind of kiss that makes you forget everything else around you.
His hands were around my waist and he pulled me closer to him while his tongue started to explore my mouth.
"Y/N oh my god" his eyes rolled back as moans kept leaving his mouth.
„Are you sure you want this? I mean i-..."
„Shut up" i say and take off my shirt.
I wasn't wearing a bra so my boobs were right in his face. His hands wandered onto them as his lips were going down my neck.
„Bucky.. i need you" i whisper into his ears.
I could see his eyes open up in that moment. He pulled my chest in closer to his and whispered „I need you more baby girl" to me
Barnes takes off his shirt and threw it around the room.
I could feel his manhood get harder between my legs, so i pulled down the shorts he was wearing.
I started stroking his dick and i could feel him getting weaker and weaker.
"Take off your shorts" his commands were turning me on even more and got off him to do exactly that.
He pulled me closer again and started playing with my clit, his hands felt so soft and gentle.
Bucky slowly laid me down on the couch while not removing his hand from down there.
His fingers slowly entered me and i could feel my walls clenching around them.
"Does that feel good baby? I want you to feel amazing"
„Yes B-... omg"
Bucky started to kiss down my neck again and on his way to my clit he started sucking on my boobs for
a moment and then went down.
"God you are so wet" he mumbles as his tongue started to lick where his fingers entered.
My moans kept getting louder and louder.
Bucky removed his hand from my clit and was about to get on top of me when i switched positions with him.
"That was so hot." Buck says and we laugh at each other for a second.
After that he grabbed me by my ass and put his member inside of me, he was slow and careful but full of passion and lust.
Bucky lifted his upper body up and turned his back to the side of the couch so i was sitting on his lap again.
Tears started roll down my face as his whole length was inside of me at this point, "Buck it- it hurts.".
I felt like he was ripping me apart.
"I know baby and i'm very proud of you." he says and lifts me up using his vibranium arm to slowly start pounding into me.
Our moans were so loud, but we didn't care. Him slapping my ass just made that worse.
His eyes kept rolling back and it was the hottest thing ever.
„I'm about to - uh" i say and Buck starts going faster.
"Where do you want me to come?" he asks
"Inside of me" i whisper in his ear and he starts grinning.
"My good little girl" he whispers back into my ear and keeps pounding. All of the sudden i felt my walls clenching but around his length this time and him releasing into me.
"Fuck Bucky." i mutter into his mouth.
Bucky puts his head back.."that was amazing Y/N."
Out of nowhere i could hear some steps.
"Fuck someone just walked away from us." i tell Bucky who seemed not bothered.
"I hope they enjoyed the show" Buck slowly removed his manhood from me and put on his shorts on again.
„Shut up" i laugh at him and pull him in.
