Chapter 19: Letters and Anticipation

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"That's wonderful to hear. I was afraid you'd never get along,"

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Luna was waiting outside of your office at promptly 8:00 AM, which was the time that you had agreed on to meet. Luna was extremely patient, given the fact that she had waited over two hours the day before waiting on you. You still felt absolutely terrible about it, and you felt even worse knowing that Luna was walking around knowing your and Severus' secret.

It wasn't that you didn't trust Luna. Honestly, you'd trust her over most adults to keep it a secret. You just weren't sure how to feel about a 13 year old knowing that two of her professors were dating on the down low.

"Hi, Luna." You greeted as you approached the office door.

"Hello, Professor [L/N]. You look wonderful." She complimented in her sweet voice.

Luna was always very kind, and went out of her way to make others feel good. Truth be told, you were wearing the same kind of outfit you wore everyday, but that didn't stop Luna from singing her praises.

"Thank you, Luna. You're very kind," You smiled, opening the door for her, "You could've waited inside the office. I wouldn't have minded."

Luna shrugged her shoulders simply, entering the office and setting her things down.

"I was afraid Professor Snape was here. I didn't want to interrupt." Luna admitted.

"Remember this is my office as well. You can be in here at any time, regardless of whether Professor Snape is here or not." You reminded her.

"Well, I was more afraid that you were both in here." Luna said nonchalantly, sitting at her chair at your desk.

Your cheeks ran hot at her insinuation, that dread in your gut returning.

"Luna, I want you to understand that my relationship with Professor Snape doesn't change anything," You told her, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around us."

"I'm not uncomfortable, Professor. It's not your fault you've found love with Professor Snape." Luna said casually, opening the second year Defense textbook to begin helping you plan a class schedule for the next week.

Your blood pressure began to rise at Luna's choice of words and the implication behind them. Your first instinct was to laugh it off with the idea that it was just a kid looking too deeply into things they knew nothing about.

But something in your chest told you that was the wrong reaction. Luna Lovegood was different than most kids. She wasn't like Ron Weasley or Hermione Granger. No, Luna looked into things, but she looked into them just the right amount.

So the odds were that she might've been onto something.

You took a moment to think about what Luna had said. Surely, you had not "found love" with Severus. It had only been a little over a month since you had begun dating, and even then you had both agreed it was a lowkey thing until you saw where it took the both of you.

While you had shared many, many intimate moments together, you weren't sure that sticking the "L" word label on it was a good idea. Not until you absolutely, positively sure that's what it was.

You let your mind wander from that topic and to another one. You recalled your conversation from the night before, about telling Severus that you were sure you wanted to reconnect with Sirius. You supposed that was something you needed to get into the works, because you'd have to get in touch with Remus first.

You still weren't sure if this was a good idea, but you were pretty set on going through with it.

Luna was occupied for at least the next ten minutes, giving you enough time to at least begin a first draft of a letter. The fresh parchment sat blank on your desk as you retrieved a quill to write with, knowing that Remus would definitely notice if you had written in pen or not.

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The tip of the quill was just barely hovering over the parchment, your hand completely still with no movement. Words didn't seem to want to come to you. That or you didn't want to actually write them.

Luna must've sensed your struggle, and she spoke without looking away from her book.

"Addressing the person you're writing to is likely the best place to start." Luna advised, flipping the page gracefully.

"Right," You confirmed, a grin appearing on your face, "Thanks."

Luna had a point. Starting with what you knew was probably best. Your hand began to scribble the words.

Dear Remus,

You stopped after those 9 letters, another blockage affecting your thinking process. You hadn't seen Remus in so long that there was honestly too much to say in your letter. Remus had always been the easiest one of your friends to talk to. He was an excellent listener, but an even better advice giver.

Of all your friends from school, Remus should've been the one you never lost contact with. Remus was beyond torn up about Sirius being sent to Azkaban. Neither of you could believe that he would EVER betray James and Lily.

But Remus now knew the one thing about Sirius that you didn't know.

You thought about Severus. Now, that was a conversation that would take up about three pages of parchment to explain. You figured that was best for an in-person conversation, but worth a mention somewhere in the letter.

With that being said, you decided to just write the damn letter and fix it later.

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Dear Remus,

I know it's been some time since I last saw you at the tavern. Truthfully, between teaching and being busy, finding the time to write has been challenging. I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't a joy to see you. I haven't forgotten what you said. About Sirius wanting to see me? I really want to see him...to catch up, I guess. But I know I need to see you first, and there are some things we need to talk about. One of them is Severus Snape, like we briefly discussed that night at the bar. Let's meet up soon to chat. You can pick a time and a place. I'm looking forward to seeing you. I've really missed you, Moony.

Love,

[Y/N]

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It was no work of poetic masterpiece by any means, but it would do for now. Again, it was only a first draft, and you'd probably rewrite it. You read over it two or three times, debating on whether you even wanted to rewrite it. It sounded fine for the most part. It was a little vague, but it got the message across. On the other hand, you weren't sure that an unrevised letter was a good idea for leading up to such an anticipated moment. Reconnecting with Sirius was going to be important, and you figured you needed to do everything you could to make it go smoothly.

You left the parchment open on your desk so the ink would dry, and turned your attention to helping Luna.

You and Luna made small conversation with each other as you worked, getting to know one another better and creating more of a friendship than a workship.

You gave Luna permission to leave once you were caught up on work, tossing her a chocolate frog on her way out as a treat. You were more and more satisfied everyday with your decision to make her your assistant.

Not long after Luna left, a soft knock sounded through the room. You half expected it to be Luna returning to get something she had accidentally left behind, but you were a bit surprised to see Minerva when you opened the door.

"Hi, Minerva." You greeted with a smile.

Minerva rarely ever came by your office unless it was for a specific reason. If she wanted to stop in for a casual chat, she usually came by your quarters or your classroom.

"Hello, [Y/N]. It's wonderful to see you as always," She returned, "I saw Luna leave, and I thought you might have the time for a break?"

It was almost lunchtime at this point, and you had to admit that you were beginning to feel cramped in your office.

"Sure. I'd love to." You accepted, returning to your desk only to grab your jacket to battle the beginnings of the wintery air outside.

November had been by far the coldest month, and you were beginning to wish you had taken advantage of the warmer fall months.

The two of you began to walk towards The Great Hall, having to avoid knocking over or running into kids who were in such a rush to get food that they weren't watching where they were going. Your office was a bit of a ways from The Great Hall, and Minerva didn't exactly get into a rush, so you had a decent walk ahead of you.

"How did you rest last night?" Minerva questioned.

To a normal person, they might think Minerva was being nosy trying to find something out. But in reality, it was something that Minerva asked everyone on any given day. You remembered your previous night with Severus, but pushed it away.

"Oh, I slept well. How about you?" You bantered.

Minerva's faced flashed with mischievous intent, but she remained as cool as ever.

"I slept well, but you know this castle can be rather...loud at night." She remarked.

You weren't really sure what that meant. You figured Minerva was just being profound as usual.

"It can be, I guess." You replied, dropping that conversation and allowing Minerva to move to the next.

"I suppose I don't need to keep asking since you've seemed to have adjusted extremely well, but how are things going?" She asked.

"Very well! Luna has been a huge help with figuring out how I want to teach my classes." You told her, zipping your jacket up as you walked the frigid corridors.

Minerva only gave a motherly chuckle, restating her question.

"I meant with Severus." She explained.

A hot flush crept over your cheeks at the mere mention of his name. You realized it had been a while since you had even brought him up to her.

"Oh! Much better! Yep, I think we've established...or, well, we're friends now." You corrected, afraid that poor choice of wording might give you away.

Minerva nodded, but she was having a hard time hiding her smirk.

"That's wonderful to hear. I was afraid you'd never get along," Minerva said, with clearly innuendo implications, "But don't you think that 'friends' might be a bit of a watered down term, by chance?"

Your heart quickened. There was no way she knew. How could she know? You knew that Severus told her a lot, but there was absolutely no way he'd be the one to tell her. You thought about Luna too, wondering if maybe she slipped up. But Luna was so trustworthy. It couldn't have been her.

"Minnie, I don't..." You trailed off, your features screaming that you were hiding something.

Minerva only laughed again, checking to make sure no one was around before asking the truth bearing question.

"[Y/N], just what were you and Severus doing last night?"

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