When Love Gets in the Way

Chapter Forty-seven

James

I should have woken Luca up.

Sleeping on a hard wooden bench looks extreamly painful and anything could have happened to him. I know that Seb is now with him but I feel like I've failed him.

I was so scared that someone would see us together that I just left him there so undefended and vulnerable. The world seems to be out to get Luca yet I still just left him.

I feel like such a horrid person but I don't know how to fix this. Either way I lose something. I can either lose Luca or my reputation. It sounds selfish but I don't know which one I would rather lose. If I lost my reputation then my school life would be a nightmare for the last year and that could impact on my grades. If I lost Luca then I would have let down the person I think I'm in love with. I promised him that I'd always be here from him yet I'm not.

I flop into my bed and groan into my pillow. I don't know what to do and it's eating me up inside.

I have a pain in my chest that appeared the moment I saw that photo of Luca and I kissing. The pain won't seem to fade. Actually, all it's done is get stronger and more overbearing.

My phone buzzes but I inore it. I don't have the energy to reach for it. To deal with whatever someone is trying to say to me. I feel so lost and I have no map. There's no one I can talk to about this. My parents would be mortified at the idea of Luca and I dating and there is no one else. I'm completely alone in all of this and I don't know what to do.

My phone buzzes again and I groan. I lift my head and snatch it off of the cabinet. I unlock it and sigh when I see the message from Luca.

Sorry bout fucking everythin up
I think I love you

I read the message over and over until I can't any longer. My vision goes blurry from the build up of tears in my eyes and my phone slips from hands. Tears run down my face and I sob loudly.

Luca believes that he's done something wrong. That this is all of his fault. He thinks that I'm avoiding him because of him.

I burry my face in my pillow and sob loudly as the pain in my chest increases.

What have a I done?

_________________________________________

I walk down the sun lite street knowing that the weather is not reflecting my emotions.

I want to be able to talk to Becky again and date Luca freely. I know that I'm the only one who's stopping all of those things from happening but I just can't seem to help it. Sometimes I feel like telling everyone everything but something inside stops me. It's like a sick feeling that closes up my throat and prevents the words from ever surfacing.

As I approach my house, I instantly know that something's wrong...

Glass lays on the floor and two of the windows are shattered. My mother stands outside clearly extreamly distressed and two police officers are with her trying to calm her down.

"James!" She cries as I race over to her. She pulls me into a tight hug and sobs loudly.

"What happened?" I ask her frantically which causes her to sob again.

"A few teenage boys came here and smashed the windows with bricks." She tells me and my heart sinks.

Teenage boys...

It couldn't be Luca...

He does have an uncontrollable temper and he could be angry at me for ignoring him. He confessed his love to me only a few days ago and yet I've just left him on read. I don't want to believe that it's him but no one else knows where I live.

It has to be Luca!