"That guy with tears in his eyes and ghosts in his heart. He loved her, and you could see it." —Jamie Tworkowski
**
Ignorance is bliss.
There are things better left unnoticed, shoved under the rug, or kept locked inside a closet.
Because when you come into realization, and set it free for the world... everything changes in a different light.
The worst thing is, you can never take back innocence when it's lost.
The small moments, the soft touches, the stolen glances, the way fingers brush one another gently with the feeling that lingers with it just like the taste of hot chocolate on a winter day. It is warm, it leaves something inside.
And then there's also the echoes of her laughter, and glimpses of her smile which comes flashing at the back of his mind no matter where he roams his eyes.
They all suddenly become so clear when acknowledged.
The mist cleared up and showed the whole scenery.
It was beautiful.
But he is not destined for beautiful things.
And she was beautiful.
But yes, he is not meant for anything beautiful.
Whether it was to receive what she always willingly gives... or to give in return even if he badly wants to.
Because just how do you give when you're empty?
"WOW, YOU'RE really smart," Jisoo said in awe as she read the paper Namjoon slid on the table for her to read. They were doing their assigned partner work in the library for more than an hour now.
He chuckled to her compliment, "Just a little sharp I'll say," he said and closed the book he was holding.
Jisoo smiled and went back on quickly typing the last sentences she is transferring on the document. Namjoon started grabbing the reference books they used to put it back on the shelves while she finished the work. Minutes later, he sat back down the chair across from her.
"I'm done!" Jisoo exclaimed and turned the laptop to him, "We completed this quickly," she happily added.
"Yes," Namjoon nodded and pulled the laptop towards him to scan through what she typed. After some second, he grinned in satisfaction.
"You're really good too. I'll take this to have one final edit before I give it back to you to check so we can submit it already," he uttered before shutting down his laptop.
"Oh, okay! Just send it to my email," Jisoo beamed at him and they started fixing their stuff.
On the other side, only a few tables apart from the two students who finished their task smoothly and early, are yet another two students who are not sure what they are doing or why they are even there in the first place.
"So are you and Jisoo not really dating?" Bona quipped while staring curiously at Taehyung with a creased forehead glaring a hole in his laptop.
He almost broke the pencil he was biting as he snapped out of his brain torture because of the sudden question. He looked at her and answered, "No."
Bona's eyes widened in slight amusement, "Wow. I thought you're just denying it."
Taehyung gave her a look of disbelief and chose to ignore her, thinking she would drop the topic but perhaps he really knows nothing about the girl in front of him.
She leaned her face on one hand and tilted her head as she asked, "Why?"
He couldn't believe what she was asking. His brain short circuited and he felt his face heating up. He wasn't exactly irritated but somehow he—
"You're blushing like this so why not?" she stated while smiling, obviously entertained from what she is seeing right now.
"Who the hell is blushing?" he snarled at her in a hush, looking around and darting his gaze to Jisoo who was a short distance away from where they were.
Somehow he was so afraid of any chance of her hearing that.
His heart almost jumped out his chest when their eyes met and Jisoo waved at him. He gulped and just gave her a nod before averting his gazes and hiding behind his laptop screen.
"You," she pointed at his ears, "You're the one who is flushing. Saw it. Your ears look like tomatoes," she commented and laughed.
He squinted his eyes at her and held his ears. Taehyung heaved a deep sigh and bowed down when he realized it's hot and surely red, too.
Bona shook her head while observing him. Then, she uttered in a sympathetic tone, "Man, you're in trouble."
He clenched his jaw and made sure she knows he is annoyed, "Let's just do this fucking project."
Bona shrugged with a knowing smile before she went back to scribbling on her paper. Taehyung was thankful she decided to shut up because he just wants to get through this partner activity and not have himself more confused or cornered over the one thing he is avoiding deep down.
However, minutes later, Jisoo and Namjoon stood up from their seats and the two decided to walk in their direction. Jisoo tapped Taehyung on his shoulder to make him look at her.
"Are you guys done?" she asked and looked at them both.
"Well, we're still yet to finish the conclusion and also supporting arguments in the body," Bona responded.
"It's five minutes before break though," Namjoon interjected while holding the strap of his backpack hanging on his shoulder, "There's still a week before submission."
"Hm," Bona nodded and closed her book and placed down her pen, "Well yes, I would like to take a break unless you...?" she trailed on her sentence and glanced at Taehyung.
"Nah," he closed the laptop quickly, "I'm done with this for today," he uttered and stood up already, picking up the papers, dumping it carelessly in his bag before just holding it on the handle loop, not bothering to sling it on his shoulder at least.
"Great! We're done too. Let's go," Bona exclaimed enthusiastically and swiftly took all of her things in one scoop.
They are headed towards the exit when Jisoo turned to Taehyung who was walking beside her, "Eat lunch with us, okay?"
Taehyung just nodded dismissively and cracked his neck. He's really not a fan of sitting for hours. He hates it but of course, he needs to do school work now. It would be one of his regrets that he enrolled in college.
"You know," Jisoo started, clinging to his arm, a habit she is quite developing lately and a habit he does not mind at all.
"We're already done! I think Namjoon and I make a great team! I am so glad it's one requirement off my list now," she happily says.
Taehyung glanced at her, she was looking at him with those sparkling doe eyes again. He felt his chest tightened that he needed to avert his stares just so he could breathe.
"I don't think I am a good team with my partner," he answered, still not looking at her.
Suddenly, staring at her is too nerve wracking now.
It's not that he hates looking at her.
But perhaps the very reason is that he never wanted to look away anymore. However, he hopes she cannot see her reflection in his eyes.
