deshita | y.ji

four.

Jeongin never spoke of your failure again. Not even once.

Out of sympathy and the goodness of his friendly heart, as he liked to claim it, Jeongin dragged you out to dinner with him after sending a brief text to his and your parents. He figured you needed some outdoor spaces; if you get cooped up in your small room alone after the utter Valentine disaster, you would regret yourself to sleep and wake up all dizzy and depressed the next morning.

Your mood seemed to be significantly lifted after he got you some food and drinks. Things could never go wrong with a nice bento box and an overpriced drink. He learned that the hard way. Not once did you voluntarily spoke of what happened, though, which was fine by him. There wasn't much to be said about you freaking out at the last minute aside from letting you vent about your feelings, and he had wanted to be done with the whole Valentine fiasco anyway.

Not talking about it was the best ending to the situation. No more chocolate, no more liking other people, no more Hwang Hyunjin.

But Jeongin could tell it was bugging you; the troubled wrinkles around your mouth and the constant disapproving frown you kept on your face were not all the physical pieces of evidence he could find, but they were enough to give away that there was a lot you wanted to say about how you chickened out on confessing to Hyunjin.

The food was only half of it. There was more that needed to be done before you could get over a three-year crush.

"Ay–hold it there!" Jeongin called after you curtly waved him a half-assed, depressed farewell. He placed his hands on your shoulders and pulled you away from the door of your home, turning you around so you faced him.

"What?" You asked exhaustedly, voice low in a grumble and eyes casting away from him.

He heaved a sigh at your poor attitude. That was a given, he supposed. He had no plans to feel offended about it, much like he never had any incentive to be insulted because of anything you do or say to him. Maybe he was looking at you through rose-colored lenses, but if that was the case, he couldn't have acknowledged that sometimes you do and say the wrong things. Simply put, he was more willing to be enduring with you, and now was one occasion to be added to the list.

"If you have something to say about what happened at school, you should do it now," he said, then he crossed his arms and peered down at you cleverly. He was acting all high and mighty, it felt, and it made you scoff. "You don't want to accidentally take it out on your parents! I'm just saying I can be your punching bag now. Gives you fewer consequences."

"Who said I am going to take it out on anybody?" You asked rhetorically as you sent him a heavy punch on the stomach.

Jeongin stumbled backward a few steps, surprised but not hurt. The strangled noise from the back of his throat galloped out of his mouth as he covered his belly and looked at you. Your lips were twitching, and he almost thought you were about to cry until he heard a gentle squeak, something like a burst of forbidden laughter. You covered your mouth, more laughter shooting out of your lips, and Jeongin realized you were happier than ever.

A short smile appeared on his face. It soon spread wide, so wide that puffs of laugher had to escape his mouth to resonate with yours to feel satisfaction beneath his airway. You were less affected by the bombed confession than he thought you were, it appeared. All you needed were some time, and someone to take a swift punch to the gut for you to let out the steam. While all he needed were the sun, the golden hallway of your apartment building, and the sound of your laughter to feel bliss.

"I was disappointed, yeah," you explained after calming down. Looking off to the side where the other apartment buildings stood tall, blocking the sky but never the sun, you smiled bitterly. "Really disappointed..." You suddenly snapped your head back to him. The light swam back into your eyes, hopeful and cheery. "But not enough to mope on and on about it! There are plenty of fishes in the sea. Maybe I can give the chocolate to my next great love!"

Jeongin felt his body relax. His once tense emotion softened with relief upon your resilient outlook. There was a mysterious greatness in his chest, something good, something joyful. It was the fulfilling feeling of watching the good guys kick ass after being snapped and broken in a movie, or the ambiguous whimsicalness of standing among a crowd of strangers under a dark sky, or the great excitement of seeing a loved one running toward you from across the train station after a year of separation.

His feeling softened gently after knowing you would be fine.

"Thank you for dinner tonight," you said, looking up at him. Another way to thank him for being there for you even though he didn't have to nor wanted to. Another way to say thank you for trying to cheer you up.

"Of course." He nodded.

Turning his body, he moved to his apartment and reached for his school bag to fish out his keys, not wanting to disturb his parents by ringing the doorbell. You watched him for a short while, feeling jaded somewhat as if you were missing something, then you hissed out a yell of recognition. Jeongin removed the key from the keyhole upon your sudden commotion, questioning brows raised and eyes focused on you.

"I almost forgot!" You said as you unzipped your school bag after pulling it over to the front. You dug through your half-empty bag and finally pulled out a very squished bag, messily tied with a ribbon. It looked ugly.

"Here!" You said as you handed it to Jeongin. "Your valentine chocolate!"

Baffled, Jeongin looked down at your hand and only tilted his head. He pointed at himself weakly and furrowed his brows, visibly in disbelief. "My valentine chocolate?"

"Yeah!" You nodded with a grin. "And I know you don't need more of it, but I figured why not make an extra bag for you anyway? I switched the decorations up a little, I tried to spell your name on the hearts."

He laughed as he brought the bag up to his face. Opening the lid, which wasn't attached to the ribbon, he peered inside and squinted his eyes when he saw faint lines of frosting-like chocolate on top of the heart-shaped ones. You did try to spell his name! They looked horrendous, even more after they stayed under your school bag for so long, but he could somehow make out the words.

"Thank you, I guess?" He said with a huff of laughter, still feeling bewildered that he received chocolate from you when you have never given him—or anyone—anything on the previous Valentine's Days. "Why so sudden?"

You fiddled with your fingers casually as you rolled your eyes up to think. There weren't any specific reasons. You just felt like giving him something since you were already making some chocolate for Hyunjin anyway.

"No reason, I just felt like giving you something," you replied with a shrug. Then you glared at him pointedly, a smile played on your face. "I can't forget my best friend, can I?"

Jeongin was captured in the heat of your upturned lips, and the falling sun would not let him take a break. The falling sun and the homeliness of your face, the golden air, and the familiarity of the distance where you two stood from each other. Slow breath soothed out of his parted lips, yearning and yearning to reach you, adoring you under silence in which he could not control, undressing the palpitations of his heart and leaving his chest naked to the damage you deal by merely existing.

Your bag of valentine chocolate squeezed in his hands, a token of your thoughts spent on him giving him proof of his existence, he loved you then. He loved you; unreciprocated yet eternal, unrequited yet long-lasting.

"These better taste good." That was all he could manage.

You scoffed with a roll of your eyes. "They will taste good! You watched me make them!"

He watched you make chocolate for Hyunjin, but not this batch, he didn't. This batch was new, this batch was also specifically made, and they were for him.

You made valentine chocolate specifically for him.