If I Fell│John Lennon/Beatles FanFiction

Chapter 67 - 8.April.1966

Chapter 67 

April 8, 1966 

John could sleep indefinitely.

And for years, I cuddled in close beside him, loving the feel of his arms around me. But at thirty-eight weeks pregnant, restful sleep was difficult to come by. The baby moved too much, feeling almost like an alien inside me...an alien who was out of room but showed no signs of exiting its home anytime soon.

So I lay awake next to a snoozing John, his body sprawled out on our massive bed, his hand resting on my arm, as I tried to get back to sleep. But the baby was having none of it. And I had to use the loo...like I did every damned hour.

I shifted, trying to ease the dull pain in my back, and John groaned beside me, one of his eyes opening. His hair was completely disheveled, pushed over his forehead and splayed over his pillow.

"You all right, Livvy?" He moved closer to me, his hand smoothing over my swollen tummy. When we were alone, his hand was almost always touching my belly...it was my reminder that the baby and I were constantly on his mind.

"Can't sleep," I mumbled as I shifted again.

"Have a dream?"

"No, no dream. Just can't get comfortable."

The nightmares came and went. At times I went weeks without an awful dream waking me up, but when the dreams came, the nights were almost unbearable. My mind was taking its sweet time to process everything I'd been through, but I refused to take the sleeping pills while pregnant. They sat untouched in my nightstand, though on some restless nights I stared at them, wanting nothing more than to pop one into my mouth.

I'd found other ways to find restful sleep—breathing exercises, reading books, hot baths before bed, and shagging...which was John's favorite—but all of those things stopped working the moment I entered my third trimester because apparently expectant mothers don't get restful sleep. The baby slept when I was awake and was a jumping bean the moment I tried to rest.

"It's too damn early to be awake." John's eye slipped closed as he eased around me, his body creating a warm cocoon, enveloping me in a blanket of safety. "C'mere and close yer damned eyes."

"You say that like I've never tried closing me eyes to sleep." I pushed my back into him, and one of his arms wrapped over me as his hand moved to my aching lower back. His thumb rubbed the soreness that had been lingering for weeks. "And it's not exactly early anymore, y'loon...it's a bit after eleven, I think."

"Early is anythin' before noon, y'know. 'Sides, I don't have to be in the studio for another few hours." He tightened his hold on me, pressing his nose into the crook of my neck. "Stay in bed with me. I've barely slept."

"No one told you to stay up so bloody late, did they?" The baby moved again and put more pressure on my bladder. "Fuckin' hell, John. This baby you put in me is gonna be the death of me."

I pushed out of bed, hating to leave his embrace, but I had no choice. My hand pressed against my back as I waddled forward...because I damn well waddled now that my belly had gotten so front-heavy.

"Where'ya goin'?" he hollered after me.

"The bloody loo. Again." I stepped over John's discarded clothing and hurried toward the bathroom.

I wasn't even sure when he'd finally crawled into bed after a marathon recording session with the boys, but it was hours after I managed to fall asleep. At some point I woke up, and he was there, looking beyond fit as he stripped his clothing and snuck next to me, pulling me close.