No matter what it takes.

Chapter 1

"Lynn! Hurry up a little, people are waiting, you know?!" My boss is yelling again. At this rate, I'll be dead before the end of the year...

I quickly grab my notebook and a pen then come back to work, almost running.

"Sorry boss, I had to calm down a minute..." I say, passing near him.

"You just can't take breaks all you want. Move now! We'll talk about this later." His voice is harsh but his eyes seem to understand.

Actually, they understood when they noticed the little deer's ears and tail on my body while I'm already taking customers' orders. I hear him sigh and go back to work.

I always had trouble with my appearance since the day I'm born.

First a female human, I surprised my parents literally 30min later with a completely different body, being a little boy with dark hair. They thought they lost me but saw me change again 10min later. Of course, they freaked out... Poor them...

I never had a stable appearance and don't even know if I have one.

I just chose one, one day, and try to stick to this one.

The problem is that I need to focus to stop my permanent changes and the more I live, the more difficult it is... Crowds, work, school... Everything is so stressful I can barely keep my appearance all day! Also, it's completely random and very frustrating when I can't focus enough to come back quickly...

That's for this reason that I keep a necklace with my name on it. This way, if I change without realizing it, people will still be able to recognize me.

My shift ended without any trouble and I decided to take a little time for myself at the park, enjoying being alone for once.

My life had been chaotic. Being unable to stay a certain way for an extended amount of time is not quite practical. I couldn't have friends for a long time, most of people just being curious about my condition.

Even my romantic relationships were fucked! I can't really say that they were not here just to fuck their ideal partner. They tried to shape my personality and kinks their way. Beside my family, I can't really say I ever was loved by anyone. I am more of a concept than a person after all...

That's why I left the house and tried something else. Something new.

People still judge me for my ability but at least, I'm not bullied anymore. Kids think I'm funny, my roommate is nice and my job isn't that bad.

Living on my own is exhausting though. I barely have time for myself as I have to pay for rent, foor, clothes and a lot of other stuff.

I'm just so tired...

Just then, I feel someone sit down beside me. Startled, I turn and look toward the interloper.

"Whoa! Hey, take it easy, it's just me." The stranger says, definitely trying to look nice.

I froze, looking at him for probably too long as he starts to scratch his neck.

"You're a jumpy one, aren't ya? I didn't wanted to scare you, excuse me." He smiles and scoot himself closer to me, shyly and awkwardly.

It took me a moment again to realize that the panic made me change and I take a big breath to resorb the extra eyes on my arms. They were starting to give me a headache. He doesn't look surprised. Actually, he didn't even look at them.

"Sooo...Are you waiting for a family member, or a friend? it just looks kind of odd for you to just be sitting here, all alone like this, and so far away from the jogging track." He adds as if nothing here was wrong.

Even if I was still a little scared and wondering what the fuck was going on, I couldn't move. My mind was more focused on controlling my appearance in front of a stranger than thinking logically. If he wanted to hurt me, he had plenty of time to do it before anyway.

"I mean, you don't look like a ground keeper, or one of the old people feeding pigeons after doing Tai Chi." I could. I literally could look like anything but thanks, I guess?

I took another big breath and bring back my customer's voice. I couldn't just sit here, staring at him without answering.

"No, I'm just getting some alone time to myself. Things have been pretty intense lately..." My polite smile fades when I feel his hand touching mine and I jump a little to distance myself. It was a reflex and I instantly feel bad about it.

"Ah! Sorry I... You... Eeeeh sorry, really, you scared me a little here. I'm so tired, oh god, that's embarrassing..." My face is all red as well as the rest of my skin.

I'm so focused on trying to get back to my normal skin that I just don't listen to what comes next. I just understood the las word "dinner" and, looking at his embarrassed face, that must be a question.

"What? W-Why?" I try to ask, not understanding what's happening.

"Well, I'm your boyfriend." Okay I'm done. My brain overheated. I don't understand what the fuck is going on, I'm too tired for this shit.

I didn't have a boyfriend in ages. Why could he be assuming we were in a relationship? My vision became blurry for a moment and all I can see are his big blue eyes turning from relaxed to worried.

"-N! -YN! LYNN!" I blink and shake my head to try to come back on earth, my hand reaching my head.

"Oh god..." I say, regaining consciousness and looking around. The stranger is still here, in front of me, both hands on my shoulders and a very worried face. My hand reaches his and tap it slightly.

"I... I'm okay. I'm sorry..." I whisper, my head hurting like hell.

"You sure? Don't bother fixing your appearance if it hurts, it's okay. Do you need anything?" His eyes are glued to mine. His hands stay on my shoulders, probably thinking I'll fall if he removed them. He wouldn't be wrong.

"Hum...It's okay. I'm okay, I think I need to head home now. Sorry for scaring you." I try to get up but feel dizzy. Jeesus, this is troublesome! I take a couple big breaths, trying to control my power so it stops to fuck up my brain. I don't know how I look right now but my brain doesn't really follow here.

"Would you like me to ride you home?" I look at him, still holding my hand for security. I hesitate a minute but my brain remembers me that I just can't go home like this alone so I slowly nod and look away.

I need help.