Talking -One-sided Ted x John Captain-

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-Most of the stuff I will write with Ted/Sniper will be suggestive/explicit so be warned-

One-sided because Ted doesn't act on his feelings and is just angry about it.

Warnings

-Suggestive 

-Internalized homophobia (From Sniper)

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"Any snipers in the area free to talk?" Ted grumbled as he leaned over the side of the watch tower and held the communicator button on the side of his helmet.

Usually, he wouldn't resort to talking to the other snipers. He'd either have a couple of Playboys that were stolen from the barracks of sleeping soldiers, or a book he'd found in the junkyard. But today he wanted to get something off of his chest, so Ted hoped another sniper would answer his call.

"You know, I'm not allowed to talk to you, but I like your inane banter, so what's up man?"

The voice of the enemy's sniper, Skittles, came through Ted's helmet. He shifted a bit before pressing the side of his helmet to respond.

"I've been having wet dreams." Ted blurted out. His face started to heat up as he covered it with his gloved hands. Static crackled from the other side of the communicator. It stayed like that for a minute until Skittles responded.

"And..? That's nothing to be ashamed of, man. I get them every once in a while. "

"No! This shit is different man! My wet dreams usually involve me ramming some hot sexy chick or watching a stripper strip, but these past few weeks they've been about me being rammed by my Captain... " Ted had muttered the last part as he was explaining his situation, his eyes going to the floor. He heard Skittles snicker through his helmet, his embarrassed expression quickly turning into a scowl.

"I'm sorry. What was that? Who was the lucky soldier you were being rammed in the ass by? " Skittles, had said teasingly.

"By my fucking Captain!" Ted shouted a bit too loudly as a few soldiers from below the watch tower were looking up at him. He backed down and sat on the splintery floor of the tower. Skittles was currently laughing his ass off on the other end of the communicator. Ted slammed his fist down on the floor.

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING PRICK!" Ted screamed through his microphone, only making Skittles howl out in laughter.

"I always knew you were gay!" Skittles, said chuckling Ted, imagined what type of smug smile he could punch off the enemy's sniper's face.

"I'm not a fucking gay, you asshole! I'm straight! I love women, pussy, and boobs! " Ted sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Your mind and dick say otherwise," Skittles hummed as Ted growled into the mic, earning a small snicker from Skittles.

"Shut the fuck up! This gay shit must be happening to me because I've been pent up for the past week and haven't had any quiet time to jack off, so I guess my mind has clung onto the idea of another solider taking care of me and it had to be my fucking Captain of all people. "

"Well, there could be lots of explanations for this. For starters, are you and him considered friends? " Skittles, said casually.

Ted stopped and looked down at the floor. Were he and Captain friends? I mean, they would usually be found at the bar drinking together, and Captain would be one of the first people to come along with Ted to the shooting range. But then again, Captain didn't even know his real name! It was always just 'sniper' or 'the sniper', never his actual fucking name.

Ted sneered. No, he and the captain weren't friends. He was just another lifeless solider out on the battlefield. Then again...-

"Ted buddy, you there?"

Ted looked up. He forgot he was talking with Skittles and hit the side button to reply to the other sniper.

"Yeah yeah, I'm here. I'm not sure if I even consider my Captain a friend. Hell, he doesn't even know my own damn name!"

Ted heard another snicker come from Skittles.

"Well, it's either that you are very horny or you have hidden feelings for him."

Ted put his hands on his face as he let out a loud wail. He wasn't gay. There was no fucking way he was gay and had feelings for his Captain. He was the straight fuck boy that all the women in the army wanted.

"I'm not a fucking cock sucker, Skittles, I'm not gay." Ted whined into the mic as Skittles began to laugh again.

"Sure you aren't, buddy. Look, I'll tell you what. You should try jacking off and think about your Captain. If you end up cumming, then you are probably gay. If you don't, then hey! Good news for you! "

A sudden shout was heard from the other end of the communicator.

"Oh god dammit, I have to go, but good luck with your gay little feelings!" Skittles shouted as the communicator crackled for the last time before shutting off.

Ted just sat there on the floor of the watch tower in silence. He decided to stand up and look below him and observe the other people below the watch tower. He sighed as he spotted Captain and his right-hand man, Steve. The two of them were wrestling with each other while a few other soldiers were around them egging them on.

"Oh fuck it.." Ted muttered as he sat back down, removing his white bullet proof vest and moving to unbuckle his pants.

This was going to be one hell of a jerk off session.

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Words: 929

Ending is up to the reader to decide 

Ted is gay and homophobic I don't make the rules

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