This is a story about the boy who my universe revolves around.
The part about my universe revolving around him is completely coincidental- I didn't choose that, and he didn't actually intend to have this effect on me. It just happened when he start...
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I watch as Lloyd's rigid figure stalks away, not looking back. Growing more and more distant.
I couldn't take it anymore. Exander has been radiant since his brother moved in with him. His happiness is contagious, and his constant smile outshines the sun. Every time I see him, my heart flutters and I forget to breathe. I'm neck deep in love with him and it wasn't fair to me or Lloyd. So I broke up with him.
He didn't exactly take it well. But he didn't take it too badly, either. Not badly enough that I think he'd out me, anyways. About as bad as a breakup can go without reaching the point of him outing me out of spite. He'd wanted to come out as a couple for a while, now, so there wouldn't exactly be any serious repercussions on his side- but no. He wouldn't. He's upset, but he's not that upset.
And even with my now ex-boyfriend, who I dated for nearly an entire year, walking away from me- I can't find it in myself to feel as upset as I should.
I feel relieved. Like a weight has been lifted. The weight was guilt, I think. For dating Lloyd when I was clearly in love with Exander.
I know I can't have him. Spica likes him so much. I'd be betraying her if I went behind her back to date Exander. Besides, I don't even know if he's gay. And Spica doesn't even know I'm gay. Pursuing Exander would lead to nothing but pain for so many people. I couldn't do that.
I still love him. There's no point denying that. I just can't act on my feelings. I'll just have to live with the constant pining for him.
But, of course, as life does, there's always some sort of challenge as soon as you make up your mind. Just to test your willpower.
The first weekend of December comes around- the last month we have to work on the first act of the show. And half of it is cut off by winter break. It's not a lot of time to perfect half of a musical.
So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised when I come back from a grocery run on Saturday morning to find Exander in my living room.
I blink, my chest immediately flooding with the familiar longing ache. "Um... hello?"
He gives me a pleasant smile. "Good morning, Rigel. I'm sure you'd like to inquire as to my presence here?"
"Yeah, definitely."
"Spica was so gracious as to invite me here to rehearse some of our scenes together. She's currently retrieving her script. I hope I'm not intruding."
"Not at all. Uh- have you eaten lunch?"
His lips curve into the slightest smirk. I force my eyes away from his lips. "Ah. Spica informed me that you would ask that. I have not eaten lunch, but I don't expect you to provide it for me. I'll be leaving around three and I can eat at home."
