I know I've been silent. I'm trying to be the best possibility but some days it's harder to do more than be there for her. Addiction is a hard thing to overcome. I don't like talking about my own experience so bringing up others is normally not my thing but I want others to understand. It's not just hard because she's there, it's because I know each and every feeling and I knew how hopeless I felt. So days where she's angry and a little more unruly, I remember those moments and how I fought this, alone and how much I tried to die.
There's nothing in these moments I could say that will change the urge or the feelings, overwhelming gripping her. I know this, yet the silent is crippling. We hope for someone to talk and be there, handle it as it's dished out. Ad guilty as we feel, we need them to hold our hand through it and tell us it's ok and everything will be alright. Doesn't matter if our words or actions cut like a knife, if we say things we never forgive ourselves for we need to know our person, that person we have entrusted won't turn away without looking back.
Not everyday is hard as these moments but the worse the addiction the more these days pile up and the good days you just enjoy the moments, even the bad days those moments they smile or make little signs that you are their person. Enjoy the little moments, they are the things that pull you through the next day. We look at life through our eyes blinded by many things, trust, our raising, love, but we never truly know. We only know the present as the future is always changing.
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First day of the rest of my life
RandomChanges can be scary, and waiting can be crippling. This is the mental countdown of a moment, thee moment. The time that you feel and fear the unknown and are scared of what the next step will lead to, but you take it anyways because the only thing...
