Twitter Time

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You get the luxury of playing the Username Guessing Game before reading the actual shitpost because reasons. I wanna know if you get each one right

BBrainScientist

MapleSyrupSlut

PreciousBoi

astrologylover

ShuichiKinnie

Pepsilover

ArmedToTheTeeth

PastelGoreQueen

TheEinHateClub

MagicalShipChan

BigTiddyGinger

Countryroads

BarbieQueen

TheBiBlueberry

Dorkyweeb

OneEggyGal

~~~~

ShuichiKinnie: Y'ALL I THINK I JUST SNORTED WATER IT BURNS

BBrainScientist: By Irene Zane why are you like this

~~~~

ShuichiKinnie: Guys I had a nightmare where I was a cupcake and ate myself without hesitation what does this mean

astrologylover: Zane please stop eating before your naps

~~~~

Flowerboi: Someone PLEASE tell Aphmau to stfo about High School Musical before I do it myself

TheEinHateClub: Since you said that I'm gonna play bass boosted breaking free

~~~~

WingedArtist: Diamond stop doing TikTok dances in the living room challenge FAILED.

BarbieQueen: YOU ARE SO FUCKING MEAN EMILY RO'MEAVE

demonmama: At least I can make viral TikToks unlike that snake

BarbieQueen: @ demonmama YOU TAKE THAT SHIT BACK

ShuichiKinnie: My girlfriend may be a mother and a certified/verified Stargazer protector, but she's cold and ruthless as fuck lmao

BarbieQueen: this community is A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

~~~~

PreciousBoi: I have discovered the secret to getting Zane to go out shopping. You must constantly supply him with food

MapleSyrupSlut: Elaborate

PreciousBoi: We were at Sam's Club to pick some things up for our mommy and I bought him a soft pretzel and soda. He was content while we headed to the bank

WingedArtist: Wait we got McDonald's for lunch-- Zane has four drinks in the fridge up here???

ShuichiKinnie: @ WingedArtist don't go exposing my stash like that

PreciousBoi: Well Star didn't want a drink so I gave it to Zane. HAD I KNOWN HE WOULD BE DOUBLE FISTING TWO CUPS OF PEPSI, I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN HIM A DRINK OR PRETZEL HAD I KNOWN WE WERE GETTING FOOD WHEN WE CAME HOME

ShuichiKinnie: DO NOT EVER SAY I'M DOUBLE FISTING ANYTHING EVER AGAIN BUTTER BOY

demonmama: @ ShuichiKinnie Did your brother just tell me that you've double fisted something other than me?? You haven't even had sex with me yet and I'm your girlfriend???

ShuichiKinnie: @ demonmama NOT NOW SAPPY

~~~~

ShuichiKinnie: Seeing Star and Em physically fight is like watching two trained soldiers having a sparring match

          

demonmama: I WANNA SEE

Flowerboi: What started the fight????

ShuichiKinnie: Star's tryna keep Em from becoming a felon by stopping her from murdering Diamond. Again.

~~~~

ShuichiKinnie: You think you can take me down you shrimp dick motherfucker? I'll shove your head in a deep fryer and serve it at McDonald's

ArmedToTheTeeth: I will end your fucking bloodline don't test me

Pepsilover: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING OVER THERE IN THE ARCADE

PastelGoreQueen: There's an intense Dance Dance Revolution battle going on and I've never seen Zane this intense before

TheBiBlueberry: I can say the same about Zenix jfc

Dorkyweeb: Oh?? TAIKA AND LUCINDA HAVE JOINED THE GAME

BigTiddyGinger: Try not to cry when your sorry asses get beat by me and Taika loves!

ShuichiKinnie: @ BigTiddyGinger I'd like to see you try bitch

OneEggyGal: Oh it's on!

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TheBiBlueberry: i deepthroated a ruler. a 30cm ruler

MapleSyrupSlut: Dante what the actual FUCK

BBrainScientist: I'm so fucking done with this friendship group. On one hand we have Travis screaming as my roomba chases him up and down the halls, and on the other hand we have Dante DEEPTHROATING A FUCKING 30CM RULER

Flowerboi: Hot

TheBiBlueberry: @ Flowerboi See? U get it

~~~~

BBrainScientist: IT'S A MENTAL BREAKDOWN!

MapleSyrupSlut: *off brand kazoo noises*

ShuichiKinnie: A MENTAL BREAKDOWN!

demonmama: You three better tell me where you are now or so help me-

~~~~

ShuichiKinnie: I was reading a really good fanfic all morning then I got distracted by a social media account telling a fanfic of their own and when I got back to the first fanfic I'd forgotten everything that happened in it.

MapleSyrupSlut: Sounds about right.

~~~~

WingedArtist: Zane I love you but why did you name yourself ShuichiKinnie on Twitter

ShuichiKinnie: I-- because I kin Shuichi Saihara??? Is there a problem???

astrologylover: I think she's asking why you're basing your entire Twitter identity around the fact you kin that one character.

ArmedToTheTeeth: I played V3. Shuichi's boring af honestly, Kaedead would've been a better protagonist. Or literally anyone else

ShuichiKinnie: bitch

demonmama: Oh shit

PastelGoreQueen: Zenix you fucked up now

Pepsilover: I'm gonna go before shit hits the fan

Flowerboi: Too late dumbass

ShuichiKinnie: You mean to tell me that Shuichi was a shit protagonist? Is that what you're telling me? I'll have you know that being able to play as Shuichi has allowed me to find a character in the V3 cast that I can relate to

ArmedToTheTeeth: You have Himiko with how much you sleep

ShuichiKinnie: That's a condition I have no control over and you fucking know it, so please kindly shut the fuck up and take back what you said about Shuichi

ArmedToTheTeeth: No. Make me

ShuichiKinnie: Meet me at the park in 15

*30 minutes later*

demonmama: Y'ALL ZANE BEAT HIS FUCKING ASS OH MY GOD

Dorkyweeb: WAIT ZANE CAN FIGHT!?

Pepsilover: The other day he tripped over my foot and said "thank you" though????

MapleSyrupSlut: Zane will fight tooth and nail for his kins

~~~~

demonmama: AYO RO'MEAVE BITCHES WHY YOUR HOUSE SMELL LIKE FRESH ASS

MapleSyrupSlut: I never thought I'd be glad to not be able to be around Star

ShuichiKinnie: I'm holed up with Em in Star's lab. It has separate ventilation from the rest of the house and Star let us bring in some scented candles just in case the stink does get in

demonmama: Okay but that still doesn't answer my question???

WingedArtist: Ask this bitch @ PreciousBoi

PreciousBoi: LISTEN I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE THIS BAD OKAY

Flowerboi: Damn Garroth tf did you eat????

PreciousBoi: Honestly? Don't even remember

BBrainScientist: Wait guys where's Vylad???

TheBiBlueberry: Oh he's over here with me and Travis

ShuichiKinnie: Is that everyone? Mom and dad are at work and Garroth isn't affected by his own ass stink

PreciousBoi: I think so

*10 minutes later*

BBrainScientist: DIAMOND--

~~~~

demonmama: Murder may be illegal but has that ever stopped anyone before? No. So get ready Diamond because your ass is NEXT

ShuichiKinnie: Actually the law has stopped me from murdering

Flowerboi: Who could possibly invoke the wrath of karma to the extent of getting Zane to want to murder them?

ShuichiKinnie: Myself LMFAOOOOOOO

WingedArtist: Zane we talked about this. Get some therapy

ShuichiKinnie: No

demonmama: Babe please you can't keep doing this to yourself

ShuichiKinnie: My therapy is reading Shuichi-centric fanfics and reading about Kaede and Kaito being supportive friends, honorary family, or lovers of Shuichi

~~~~

MapleSyrupSlut: If Zane's coping mechanism for literally anything, aside from sleep, is reading Shuichi-centric fanfics, then why was he reading a fanfic where Shuichi takes the First Blood perk and is absent for like the entirety of the Killing Game?

ShuichiKinnie: Laurance shut the FUCK UP or so help me Irene I will maim you

demonmama: Goddamn what's wrong babe

ShuichiKinnie: I wanted the angst okay?? Besides the fanfic made me start shipping Kaede and Miu together, so stfu

demonmama: Optimistic piano girlfriend restrains horny and feral inventor girlfriend from going apeshit on edgy assassin bitch and grape gremlin child. True relationship goals for high school years

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