Melted in the mirror - 15 chapters
Title: I personally love alliterations for titles! This was absolutely gyaahh for me.
Besides that, shouldn't it be Melted into the mirror? With what it is right now, it doesn't sound right.
Thematic relevance is still being explored, but I don't expect the full explanation with only fifteen chapters, so it's okay.
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Cover: The cover is so attractive because a lot is going on, but nothing ever clashes with another. The font is perfect for the aesthetic, and it's all quite pleasing together. I think the author hit the jackpot with this cover.
The only thing I'd like to mention is the author's name. Usually, the username is put on the cover, but eh, it's a rule you can break at leisure. But what bothered me was the translucency. Wattpad displays the cover in such a small size; it would be impossible for the reader to distinguish the author's name.
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Blurb: There's something to unpack here, so be patient with me.
The first part: dialogue. I liked how it brought up the novel's theme. However, it was too vague with not enough substance to hook the reader. It has potential, so adding more to it will be better.
The rest of it: summary. I liked how the setting and hook (main character's secret) were painted as the selling points. However, it was too... efficient? A reader wants to know about the character, conflict and stakes; however, only the conflict was demonstrated. I know nothing about the character, nor what she has to lose when she goes to this new charm school (which is the conflict.)
Going to a new school is challenging for everyone. Why is it difficult, especially for this character? This question can only be answered with character + stakes.
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Grammar: Needs improvement, I'm afraid. The very first line in the blurb had a spelling error :(
I suggest either line editing or proofreading. In this review, I haven't gone over every error cause that would just be editing the writing. I've tried to pinpoint the most frequent grammar problem in the first five chapters, and I hope you correct them in all the other chapters.
Don't be put off by this! Bad grammar can be a turn-off, but it's also the easiest to correct.
YOU ARE READING
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