The tears in her eyes

Dark

The waves are slowly starting to fade, I can almost hear my consciousness begging me to come back to earth. "Claryy" getting louder and louder, "Claryyy"... Suddenly I fall. I'm not there anymore. Where's Rune? the- the ocean... Its gone. How, why? There's a little girl who I can not recognize standing next me in a strange room. What a feeling, nothing makes sense my- my chest its burning up I-

- Clary you need to get up dummy!

She keeps nagging me to go to school when I don't even know who I am!

Things start coming back to memory, Laura, my sister, the annoying little creature next to me is now familiar and Rune is just- a fragment of my imagination? I feel like crying, nothing makes sense still, how could she not have been real? Fake, everything feels like Im not supposed to be here.

-Where's mom?

-Now that's a dumb question. Have you not lived here for the past like forever? - says laura with surprised look, yet I can see the hint of sadness she's trying to hide.

-Oh right, sorry, Im just not feeling well lollipops.

-Oh god!

-What?

-You really aren't okay! You never call me lollipops anymore!

-Sorry, didn't realise it was such a big deal, fucking dumbass...

-I heard that!

-Good.

I try to shake everything off so that I can go back to my supposed reality. I get out of bed and I feel the weight of the world is above my shoulders, may the universe be on my side. Now that everything is back, even more weight is added because of stupid question I asked. My poor little sister didn't deserve a reminder of how shitty her mom is. Neither did I.

School is supposed to feel like hell right? For me its an escape, my only one, its the time to be a normal teenager and hey, its senior year, almost moving out of this hell hole of a city. Of course theres my sister, theres always her. I need to figure a way to take her with me, Im not going to let her stay with my half absent half lunatic of a mother. At least she never had to deal with my- uh nevermind. School. School. I need to leave.

I run outside mid class, I cant think about him without getting claustrophobic. The air is running out, my vision is blurring and I just cant-

Gone. Again.

He touches me on my private parts, why do I have to go through this every night? I hate the way it makes me feel, his hands brush against my soft skin as if he were my lover, as if he had the right. I want to move away, but I cant, the consequences are far worse. Every night I wonder if its going to be it, the night where he takes it all, leaves nothing but an empty shell of a body where my soul used to be. No, I cant even imagine, he couldn't right? Hes my father after all. He says he cares, that hes the only one, no one could love like he does, so is it love? Is it love when you touch me? Is it love when you threaten me? Is it love when you manipulate me? Im not a little kid anymore, it took me a while to distinguish right from wrong. I just wanted him gone, does it make me a bad person? I just didn't want to feel uncomfortable in my own house, in my own skin. I never meant for this to happen. He was just screaming so loudly, I warned him, I warned him, he never listens... His body dropped to the floor, tear drops in his eyes, I couldn't even move, I sat there still and quiet. I was there right next to him while his heart fully gave out.

-Dad?