“Kongpob.” He paused for a few seconds before speaking.
“I think.. I… I might be gay all this time” He sat straight on his side of the bed.
I snapped my neck towards the love of my life so fast that it made a cracking sound.
“What made you think so. P’?” I asked. Surprised.
“Weren’t you hung up on P’Namtarn for three years? Before we started dating?”
“I thought I was. Because it made sense. I mean Namtarn, Jay, and I used to be joined at the hips during our high school days. I mean, I thought…I thought Namtarn is beautiful and my heart skipped a bit when I used to see her and Jay together. And my heart used to beat faster whenever I saw Jay smile. I ignored it. You know!! I’m from a small town. It didn’t make sense. So, the easiest conclusion was thinking that I’m in love with Namtarn.” He paused for a little before continuing “When I moved here in Bangkok, I met the guys. And I frankly thought Prem and Knot were extremely good-looking. But, I’m not someone as flamboyant as Toota. I thought how can I be gay!! I mean aren’t gay guys made of sunshine, daisies, and a rainbow? So, I started obsessing over Namtarn. That was the only way to distract me from the thought. I think... I used Namtarn as a defense mechanism to cope up with my internal turmoil. Do you understand what I’m trying to say Kongpob?”
“I do. P’” I said smiling. My heart ached though. I don’t like the fact that I’m not the only guy P’Arthit has been attracted to in his life.
It’s been six months since P’Arthit and I started dating. He is still the tsundere head hazer we met six months ago who acts all tough when freshmen like us are in his vicinity. But the truth is, he’s the shyest guy I’ve ever encountered in my whole 18 years lifespan. I understand, admitting how he was always shy and kept things to himself. He has thought about it a lot it seems. Also, he has come a long way to admit this in front of me.
I, on the other hand, always wore my heart on my sleeves. I was never confused about my feelings toward my P’Arthit.
“Kong”
“Kong”
Suddenly, I snapped away from my rail of thoughts as P’Arthit called me.
“Hello, Earth to Kong. Can you listen??” P’Arthit tried to be funny.
“Of Course I can listen to you P’. I mean I’m not deaf.” I deadpanned.
“Well. I have been calling you for a while. You, on the other hand, stared at the wall for an ample amount of time”
“Tell me Kong… Are you disgusted about the fact that I might be…. No no, I am gay?” His voice trailed off to the unknown.
“Are you insane, my love?” I scoot towards the love of my life and take him in my arms.
“I love you, Oon. So much that it physically hurts me when I am away from you the whole day. Why would I be disgusted?”
“But you kind of went silent after I blurted this to you. Oh my god. Did I scare you?” P’Arthit started panicking.
“I mean I know this is not the same for you. Before me, you have never had feelings for a man.”
“True P’. I didn’t. I never gave a thought about my sexuality. I mean I was a lanky boy in an all-boys school and I was a huge nerd. M was kind of my only friend. Though I had a girlfriend when I was 16. It lasted only for a year. So, I thought I was straight. I still think I’m just gay for you”
“What!!!” Now it was time for P’Arthit to snap his neck towards me with a shocked face. “You moron, you never told me that you had a high school girlfriend!!”
I laugh loudly. “Aww P’!! Are you jealous?”
“My ass”. His face looks as red as a tomato. “Who is jealous? Certainly not me.”
I laughed for one minute straight after seeing his cute expression.
“Okay!! Okay!! Jokes apart. She was in the robotics club with me. Eventually, she became my closest friend in the club. She was a tomboyish girl who never cared about pretty dresses or make-up. She used to eat, sleep and dream about robotics. On my birthday, she confessed that she liked me and I agreed because I liked her as a friend. Though throughout the year we dated, I grew to like her as someone more than a friend, but I never felt any butterflies in my tummy for her. Not even when we kissed or did some hanky panky.”
He became beetroot red again.
“Oww!! P’. Stop being such a prude. I was and still am a hormonal horny teenager. And it’s healthy for the heart as well”
P’Arthit gave me a deadpan expression.
“You became my serious crush at first sight P’. My heart started beating faster whenever you called me 0062 during our hazing hours. My tummy used to feel funny whenever I saw you. But it was that day when you kissed me on the Rama VIII bridge, I felt butterflies for the first time while being kissed. I still feel butterflies whenever I am with you or close to you”.
I saw P’Arthit’s expressions change in seconds. Now I saw lust in his eyes for me. This is what I love most about his face. He’s like an open book about his expressions. I love reading his face. Though I would never tell him that. Why would I? I mean love my life and I don't want to die so soon.
My rail of thought was again disrupted as I felt a pair of moist lips on me. My Oon tasted like freshly picked strawberries. I started kissing him back with all my might. Our tongues dueled for the battle of dominance which P'Arthit easily won. I love a dominant P'Arthit. I pulled him on my lap. Now he's straddling me.
“Stop!! Kong.. Stop!!”
“What is it, my love?”
“Uggh!! don’t be so corny all the time” P’Arthit tried to sound annoying even if now his face resembles a tomato. “Besides, we need to talk about this.”
“Can’t we do both?? I tried to chime in. “P’Arthit, your little Kong needs you right now”.
“I hate you” P’Arthit sounded pissed off “I’m trying to do some serious heart-to-heart talk here, and you’re trying to seduce me.”
“Seducing you is literally in my job description” I try to reason.
“KONGPOB!! Just be serious for once. Your ” Okay!! He’s now showing an annoyed face.
“P’!! How can I be serious when you’re grinding your thing with mine!! It's really distracting.” I say in a straight face,
Okay!! He's now pink with embarrassment. I take the chance and nip below his ear and his neck, fully knowing that it turns him on so much that he becomes wanton. And bingo!! he responds. So, I take my liberty with his body and continue touching him. I touch his nipples and he responds with his eyes closed and a breathy moan. And I lose myself in him.
I gently put him down to the bed and kissed his beautiful pink lips, his dimples, his neck, his perfect shoulder. Then I lifted his tee-shirt and moved to his nipple and sucked it alternately. It responded to me just like it always did, by standing out. I moved to his tout abs.
His moans are sounding like music to my ears. Then I turned him around on his tummy and kissed the back of his neck while tracing his spine with my fingers. He moaned my name like a mantra. I kept kissing him along his spinal cord, eluding moans from him. I licked his tailbone, earning a hard gasp from him. He goes crazy if I kiss there, it is his most sensitive body part.
P’Arthit moaned “Kong!! aaaahh!!! we still nnnnnnneeed to talk..!!
I kept kissing his tailbone, his inner thighs and said “yes.. I will honey. But, not now. My mouth is now busy worshipping you.” I removed his boxers and took him in my mouth.
“Aaah.. Kong. Don’t kiss thereeeee” P’Arthit is in heaven right now to talk. He started moaning heavily and I kept bobbing my head along with his hard and leaking member.
“nnnnmmmph… Kong!! God.. Aaaahhh. It feels so gooooooood”
I only made a humming sound in response which ended up sending a vibration through his cock to his spine. And he groaned heavily and arched his back to my happiness.
“Kkkonggg!! Don’t suck it sooo hard, or I will cummm right away!!” He said in a breathy voice.
“Not yet my love.. not yet. I’ll make you cum handsfree.” I said while stroking my member in my left hand.
I flipped him over his stomach and placed a finger on the rim of his butthole and he groaned impatiently. I take the lube from the bedside and squirted some in my palm. Taking some of that I ran my index finger over his perineum to tease him and my plan worked. He got so impatient that he started cursing at me “Kongpob!! Don’t fucking tease me right now. Just take me or else I’m gonna kill you”.
“Patience my love. Patience.” I smirk and kiss again between his thighs before inserting my index and middle finger together in him to make him prepare for me. I roll my fingers to find his prostate and bingo! He moans hard. I massaged the region for a few minutes after inserting the third finger, eliciting loud moans from him. When he was loose enough, I removed my finger and replaced it with my hard leaking member. He hissed because of the feeling of the first intrusion. I waited for a few seconds before moving. And I lost myself.
I move, move and move in that rhythm that we both only know. I kiss him hard and inhale his scent burying my face in his neck. I run my tongue at the column of his neck and I hear his labored breathing and groans from being penetrated and stimulated directly at his prostate. I chant his name like a mantra. After a while, he groans hard for the one last time and releases it in the bedsheet. And with that I also release inside him.
“That was mind-blowing P’ ” I said, kissing one of his shoulder blades. “Also, now I’m ready to talk about it”
P’Arthit rolled over and faced me.
“ P’ I don’t know where my sexuality lies. I mean as I said to you that I had a girlfriend. I was super comfortable with her and we were great friends so I gave it a chance. I mean I’m physically and mentally unable to have a relationship with someone I’m not that comfortable with. But, I think... I think someone’s gender doesn’t have to do anything to make them attractive in my eyes. Does that make sense?” I asked him.
“It does.” He nods before shooting the bullet. “So do you find anyone attractive here in college other than me?”
“Honestly? I always found Aim attractive. Since school. But, he’s my best friend and he’s dumb and annoying, so, nope. And, I find Maprang, Tew, P’Fang, P’Prem, and Wad, kinda hot.” I said. Truthfully. “But, It doesn’t matter P’. I found you and my search for my soulmate ended there. I think you’re the one for me P’, I know it has only been 6 months, but, I think I will always be in love with you. I am in love with you P’Arthit. I am.”
P’Arthit kissed my eyes in response and licked my tears of raw emotion away.
** A few days later
I was sitting in class with my friends, and my phone rang the notification tone. I pulled out the phone from my pocket and saw there was a message from P’Arthit.
“I think you’re, demisexual”
“If you say so, P’Arthit”
“What do you mean by if you say so”
“I still think that I’m just gay for you though”
“KONGPOB!!! Not again”
** I always found the gay for you concept in BLs problematic AF. So, it's my attempt to change it according to my taste.
** Please bear with the grammatical errors. I'm not a native English speaker. If a generous human helps me edit this one. I would be forever grateful.
Anonymystyq Thank you for being my inspiration. You inspired me to write this one.
