Harry || h.s.

2.0- Harry

my heart was in a tight fist as I stood in the doorway of her building. cookies clutched in my hands as the rain fell in a fine mist around me.  through the glass, I could see her, watched her as she smiled at the man beside her. the same one I had watched place a hand on her hip, guiding her in a dance, a dance that should have been mine. 

jealousy was a devilish thing as it fluttered through me. I pushed the door open trying to seem innocent as interrupted but was caught off guard when I saw sam. 

so so small next to Rosie, she waved a hand at me, dimple showing reflecting a mixture of my face and rosies back up at me. 

I already knew id love her more than anything, knew that the moment Rosie told me but that didn't keep me from being scared. 

it was only moments later that we headed up the elevator to their apartment. rosies words ringing in my head that even if I had come back, even if we had held each other yesterday, we still weren't together together. 

but that didn't keep me from thinking about us getting back together, the idea flipping over in my mind like a coin, over and over it turned. I watched as she opened the door pushing her full hip against it to widen the space to let me in. sam in her arms playing with a small dinosaur toy, eyes flickering to mine once in a while as we moved into the apartment. 

I looked around the small place, cozy and warm. no dought Rosie had cleaned up before I had come. she placed sam down who instantly went running to a box in the corner of the living room pulling out more toys to play with. 

"um, do you want anything to drink?" Rosie asked moving to the small kitchen space off of the front door. you could see right into the living room from it and I shook my head no, holding out the cookies for her to take. I let my eyes wander around to the fridge. the space covered in sams art and photos of her. 

I reached out to touch a photo from when sam was a baby. the album Rosie had given me had kept me up all night as I went through it. it made me hate so much about the years I had spent away. fucking around in new york and not back here, even if I hadn't known, I should have reached out to my family, anyone. but I hadn't and I had missed so much. 

I looked back at Rosie who was pouring me a glass of lemonade even if I said I wanted nothing. she fixed a cup with a swirly straw for sam and then turned passing me both. "here you go," she smiled lightly. 

I took the cups in my hands looking down at them then back up at her. "you want me to just..."

"give her the cup?" Rosie smiled tilting her head slightly to the side, dark hair curling around her pink freckled cheeks as she looked at me with those wide welcoming brown eyes I loved so fucking much. 

"Just hand it to her?" I asked not knowing why I was feeling so nervous. 

Rosie nodded before saying aloud for sam, "sam do you want any lemonade?" 

instantly sam shouted back a yes before she was in the kitchen jumping around rosies legs. she was a ball of energy as she moved, so very short but making up for it with each hop. Rosie chuckled before nodding to me. "then ask your dad politely for your cup," 

the title hit me like a ton of bricks as I looked up to Rosie. dad. I didn't feel as if I deserved it but I didn't know how to go about anything in this kind of situation. but sam wasn't phased as she turned to me small hands clasped together as she drew out a long, "pleaseees," 

I held out her cup and she instantly took it, straw already in her mouth before she scowled at herself, "I forgot to clink," 

I blinked from her to Rosie confused before Rosie lifted her glass lightly tapping it against mine muttering, "clink," then to sam who returned the gesture, both of them saying the word together, "clink," 

sam looked up at me holding her glass up and I tentatively tapped mine with hers, "you have to say clink," she whispered and I shyly let the word slip not noticing how nervous I truly was in her presence. I didn't want to fuck anything up, not now when I was just starting, and I worried about everything I was doing. 

then sam was gone into the living room again as fast as she had come over to us. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

Rosie let out a light chuckle. "you don't have to be scared of her, she already seems to like you," 

"she does?" I asked not knowing how Rosie already knew. 

"she's very picky with who she gets to clink her glass with," Rosie smiled waving to the living room, "wanna sit?" 

I followed her into the living room where Sam had spread out her toys already playing with them, she paid us no attention as we sat watching her. I felt as if it was the only thing I could do was look at her, how similar she was to Rosie and how similar she was to me. I had no lingering dought she was mine. 

"im sorry Rosie," I muttered not looking her way as I said it. 

"im as much to blame," she whispered back taking a sip of her drink. 

"I wish it wasn't this way, that I didn't have to feel this horrible sitting here watching my daughter play, feeling horrible about not knowing about her the moment you found out. not being able to make you happy," the last part a whisper as I said it. 

Rosie was silent as we watched sam, silent as she reached over, taking my free hand in hers. "she's so great isn't she?" 

rosies hand was warm in mine, soft, and just as I remembered it. I swallowed squeezing it lightly, "she is," 

Rosie gave a small chuckle before muttering, "her first word was carrot," 

at this, I laughed turning to Rosie with a question on my face, "carrot?" Rosie laughed a bit more shaking her head, hair swaying around her cheeks and she nodded. 

"I don't know why it was very random and she wasn't a very vocal baby, I mean she laughed mostly but never like trying to say words until one day she said carrot a little later than when most children say their first word. and it was so cute her little baby voice, I mean I love her so much," she laughed face pink and happy from the memory. her hand still in mine as her shoulders shook with delight.  "I wish you could have seen your dad face, he was so surprised she had said anything at all let alone carrot of all things,"

I chuckled noting being able to contain myself when she looked so happy in the memory. I love her much and I felt it like a pang in the chest as she sat with me. and as she laughed I remembered the feeling of capturing that sound in the back of my throat as we kissed, remembered all the times we had been together as she let herself truly laugh. 

"Rosie?" I asked not knowing what hand made me fall so still, her hand twitched in mine as she looked at me with questioning eyes. 

"hum?" the sound like a core memory being unlocked. every moment with her I could remember happiness coating it like sweat sugar on the outside of my favorite candy. her lips pursed as the sound asked a question and I saw that fading scar under her bottom lip. and that candy turned sour as I saw her with fresh stitches laying in that hospital bed. I shook the image from my mind. 

"Is there any way I still have a chance with you?" 

her fingers flexed in mine, mouth opening and closing before sam sat up, "mama will you play with me?" 

Rosie pulled her hand from mine, a smile flashing on her face as she turned to sam, "of course," 

thank you for reading :)