There was a knife stuck in my arm.
Not a very large one, I think it's a pocketknife. Hard to tell when half the blade is inside me. Someone was hyper ventilating even though I was the one with a pocketknife in her arm, must be one of those blonde chicks who opened the door. I had the sudden urge to wave my bleeding arm at her face but held back, I had to figure out how to react to the.. Situation.
"Agh," I started, hoping I sounded like I was in pain. "Can someone pass me a cloth?"
The people surrounding me just stared in their drunken stupor, clearly most were struggling to stay standing let alone stare.
"Now, please." I asked again hoping to grab their attention. Finally, a petite brunette pushed through the crowd holding a red apron.
"C'mon guys back it up, let's give the poor girl some room to breathe," she turned to me "Hi, I'm really sorry about that guy, who, you know...”
I chuckled. "Who tried to show me a magic trick and ended up stabbing me? Nah, happens all the time, especially when they're drunk."
I took the cloth from her hands and used it to pull out the knife.
As I started cleaning the thankfully small wound with the red apron, I asked myself why I was currently in an over the top house party at 2 am. Oh yeah, I'm looking for my boyfriend. That guy who was supposed to spend Graduation Night with me. That idiot I was supposed to discuss future college plans with. That guy.
I stood up straighter and wrapped the apron around the cut. I smiled at the brunette who lent me the cloth. "Thanks for the apron; I'm sorry about any stains I might leave though."
"Oh it's fine. Think of it as me trying to make it up to you for one of my guests stabbing you."
"You're the owner of this house?" I asked.
"Yeah, it's my party. Why?"
"Do you by any chance know where Harper is?"
"Harper? Oh yeah, the last time I saw him was in one of the upstairs guestrooms. I think he was in the right wing."
I thanked her and rushed out of the large kitchen.
The first thing I realised was, I needed to give that little brunette a lot of credit. She managed to manoeuvre through this large sea of people without being forced dance, drink or make out with a stranger, the force was strong with that one. I, on the other hand, had to rip various male hands off my body and avoid getting beer sloshed onto my blouse. Eventually, I did manage to make it to the staircase, not without difficulty though. Harper was so going to get it from me, big time. But of course, he'll just smile at me and pull me closer, excuse me as I dramatically sigh at my wonderful boyfriend. Sigh. Ugh, sometimes I hate myself for the way he always gets off the hook with me but really, no woman would deny those sea green eyes and that adorable lip bite when he says he's sorry. I am in love. A fact I'd wanted to tell him tonight until tonight became two am.
If I recall correctly, he was supposed somewhere in the right wing which translates to right side, right? I peered into the left corridor and found three rooms, all closed. I didn't find it weird mostly because I knew Harper liked to usually grab a book and an empty room during parties like this. It’s how we met in the first place, he was reading 'To Kill a Mockingbird' while I was finishing 'Catcher in the Rye'. I've come to think of it as love at first, if you exclude the multiple times after when he got drunk and began calling me Annie-Nanny. Those were dark times.
I knocked on the first door to be met with a lady squealing. When you're my age, you know that a lady doesn't squeal unless they're 'Doing the dance with no pants' or at least that's how I refer to it. I avoided making any further contact with the room and moved on. The next room had a couple of designated drivers sitting idly with a few playing Flappy Bird. I excused myself and exited. The last room was empty. Great. Just fantastic, I somehow managed to lose my boyfriend a little too literally. Ugh. I turned and began making my way back to the staircase until the voices behind door number one became louder.
The first voice was the girl, "Don't stop." with a few more moans. Ew. I assume her partner said something when she started laughing, loudly at that but what really stopped me was what she said next.
"You are so funny, Harper!"
And that was it. That was the last straw. But you know what, I think a simple ‘I want to break up.’ just won’t cut it right now. I have faced this situation more than enough times, with the same guy for God’s sake!
I smiled to myself as an imaginary lightbulb lit up above me; I think I’ve got an idea.
I knocked on the door again, louder this time and hoped he’d act the same he always does when he’s caught. When the door opened I was met with a more or less normal Harper albeit slightly dishevelled. I smiled as coyly as I could.
“Babe, I wasn’t expecting you, what are you doing here at this time of night?” The douche had the nerve to smile at me. Honestly, I was ready to lay down the ultimate bitch rant but this time, that won’t be enough. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Oh, I just wanted to see my hunk of a boyfriend. Besides, babe, I wanted to tell you something.”
“And what would that be?”
“It’s a surprise!” I grabbed his hand and led him downstairs. I was so giddy I barely heard Harper when he started asking about my arm. When we got downstairs, the crowd had cleared up slightly but had definitely gotten wilder as a Club remix of Ellie Goulding’s ‘Outside’ played in the background and speaking of music, I was yet to locate the DJ, who was probably just a guy with an IPod Dock system. Fortunately I spotted the brunette from earlier weaving through the crowd. I waved out at her, continuing to keep a firm grip on an unsurprisingly drunk Harper.
“Oh hey, you’re that chick from earlier! I was wondering where you went, don’t you want to like go to a hospital or something? It’s gotta be painful right?”
I shrugged. “I’m perfectly fine. By the way, is it alright if I play around with music a bit?”
“Yeah, yeah go ahead. Never liked this song anyways, the music player’s somewhere near the French Windows in the Living room.”
“Awesome, thank you so much!”
I moved away and dragged Harper to what I assumed was the Living room and eventually found a large sound system with a small IPod attached. I let go of Harper and disconnected the song much to the displeasure of the people on the dance floor.
I stood up a little straighter, dragging Harper to my side and addressed the crowd.
“Hey guys! Whoo, school’s over, huh?” I yelled, gaining cheers from various parts of the room. “Anybody got a special someone to share the night with?” A majority of the very large room raised their hands and shouted the names of their partners. It was kinda sweet but, not for long.
“Well, this guy over here,” I gestured to Harper. “Is supposed to be my special someone. But you know what he was doing? He was doing the nasty with another girl!” This garnered a good amount of shock from my drunken audience; it was funny, like a lot of girls yelled things along the lines of “Oh Hell No!” but the alcohol in their drinks made it sound more like “Oooh Haaale Naw!” I noticed Harper in the corner looking uncomfortable with an unattractive shade of red colouring his face. He took a step closer and leaned in, probably planning to ask what the hell I was doing but I won’t let him spoil my awesome moment. I turned towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck once more.
“But you know what guys, it doesn’t really matter anymore because first; once a douchebag always a douchebag, amiright?”
Many cheered their approval while most remained confused.
“And second,” I lodged my knee into his precious ‘family jewels’.
Painfully, I must add.
With that, I took a step and walked off into a drunken cheering crowd who made way for me to move towards the front door. Once outside, I took out my phone and sent a quick text to Harper.
‘Oh BTW, I’m breaking up with you if you haven’t got that already, A-hole.
-From your precious ‘babe’, Anne.’
I switched off my phone and took a deep breath, not before sighing at my poorly bandaged arm. Mom’ll probably freak out over any possible infections, bruising yada yada yada. I exhaled loudly.
I really have no idea why people discourage revenge, take it from us Swedish when we say Hämnden är ljuv or Revenge is sweet. And trust me; it’s as sweet as Strawberries.
