The Fear I Loved

chapter 10.

He held half of his face with his big palm, "It was nothing but a blurry mess of vile blood and horror. Everything was happening too fast ... and the only thing I could do was run."

Ailiseu knew there was no use in questioning each other about the tragedy. They can only recover slowly by the words of slow comfort, but it would take more time than intended. She picks at one of her fingers, cleaning the dirt from the cuticle with rough precision. 

"I'm just glad that you're okay. That's all that matters ... for now." Ailiseu breathes out heavily, unsure whether to feel relieved that he made it out alive or dread for the rest of the people back in the palace.

Ailiseu leans back against the couch, attempting to sink against the cushiness as much as possible. The wooden ceiling was quite comforting in a way. It distracted those disturbing images out of her mind for a moment. 

"Let's try our best ... to keep a low profile for now. If anyone suspicious asks about anything, you can come up with an excuse. We'll see what we can do about this, when we're ready to discuss and take action." Caspar eludes. 

Caspar occupies his own couch and copies Ailiseu's relaxed form. 

"You don't have to come work tonight. I can manage it with-"

"Let me come with you." Ailiseu deadpans without looking away from the ceiling.

She places an arm across her forehead. It wasn't burning like the past two days. Even with the delicious warm chicken porridge prepared by Mrs. Young, she barely had any appetite during those days. The days where she slumped for hours on the bed in a drowsy state induced unforeseen nightmares.

"Are you sure? How's your condition?" Caspar inquires.

"How did you think I walked here alone just fine? I'm going to take tonight's shift whether you like it or not." Ailiseu replies, in a tone she didn't intend to sound harsh.

Caspar was once again quiet. He started thinking about any drawbacks if the two of them were to be present at the same time. 

"I'm just making sure that no one comes after us, Ailiseu. Keeping a low profile means we aren't supposed to be seen together at the same time."

"Caspar, you said to come up with any excuse. What's the harm if the both of us are present in the same bar? It's not like the culprits know that I work at the bar, right?" Ailiseu sits up, slowly diverting her attention from the entrance door to the slumped Caspar.

"Yes, I know. I'm just being cautious."

'More like paranoia.' Ailiseu thinks in her mind, careful not to voice her opinion out.

She abruptly stands up, almost losing her balance in the process from the sudden movement. 

"I'm going back now. I'll see you in a few hours. Take care, Caspar. Don't do anything that would strike your death." Ailiseu comments.

Perhaps this sudden burst of upfront bravery was from holding back the will to breakdown. She needed to find answers as much as possible, but without risking the involvement of her younger brother.

Ailiseu passed by a few blocks and reaches her house in a mere few minutes. She was contemplating whether to get some pastries as afternoon snacks to be shared with Haru. She glances around the pastry shop, wandering what a few coins can be exchanged with in return.

She carefully compares the prices and the type of bread filling and is consumed by her own thoughts.

The bells ring against the opening door and a customer comes in.

"Welcome to Sunshine Bakery, sir." announces the shopkeeper.

Ailiseu crouches down to the bottom aisle and reaches out for the chocolate filled bread, shoving two pieces into a brown bag. She gradually stands up towards the cashier, almost bumping into the gentleman that entered the store just now.

Her reflexes slapped her instantly that she managed to avoid bumping against him.

"My apologies." Ailiseu said to the stranger without looking up.

The stranger's eyes diverted from the rows of open pastries to the rather ragged condition of Ailiseu's hair. 

She was counting the coins in her palm before offering them to the cashier. Ailiseu heads straight towards the door and for a moment, she didn't recognise the stranger's eyes following her on the way out. She thought she heard someone sniff and cry, yet is already on the way out.

By the time she reached home, Ailiseu placed the brown bag away on the dining table. She huffs a heavy exhale before making herself comfortable on the bed. Climbing up the mezzanine floor on the ladder was tiring sometimes, but she had to make do. 

Ailiseu sits on the edge of the bed, quietly observing the wide open space of the whole house. She found peace right now, but in a few months time she'd have to do something about the income. She can't rely on her Father's savings that much and working at the bar wasn't that bad. 

The thoughts build up for a while and the only thing the lass can do is close her eyes and pray that she wakes up on time. 

She knew Haru will be home before her night shift. 

She let the slumber devour her thoughts whole and allowed her body to rest. 

The day shifts ever so slightly, turning the warm yellow rays into a purplish hue. Flocks of bird pass by the village, inducing the eyes of curious children to look up in awe. Their guardians usher them to return home and Haru was about to enter his house.

"Are you sure you do not want any beverages, sir?" Haru inquires, glancing up at the gentleman with a monocle behind him.

"You may invite me next time, dear Haru. For now, hurry on along, as I will see you on our next meeting." the stranger smiles.

Haru smiles as well in return, bowing in a flexible ninety-degrees and beams in delight, "Thank you for the croissant bread sir! I'm sure my sister would love it. Take care Mister!" 

The stranger walks away towards the direction of the steep road. A few eyes briefly glance at the gentleman before they avert to returning to their home for the night. The gentleman takes brisk slow steps, admiring the serene and quiet atmosphere of the neighbourhood. 

By the time the stranger arrives at the gates of the palace, the gold metallic gates were opened automatically by a butler.

"Welcome back, Master SeokJin. I assume you had a wonderful time strolling around the neighbourhood?" the butler inquires, taking SeokJin's coat from him. 

"It was indeed a fresh walk around the neighbourhood." SeokJin curtly replied, walking slowly back to his own chamber. 

Although the night has induced most of the citizens to sleep, there were sure to be a few bars opened for the night. 

. . . 

a/n - 21.10.21

aaaaaaaaaand he finally appears!