The Fear I Loved

chapter 31.

A series of white flashes obscuring the colored grains of memories pass through.

'Haru?'

A green wavy hill with a tree on the side flushes against the blowing wind. The sky is quite clear as white clouds paint the surface. The sun had just begun to rise, announcing its appearance from its den.

In the distance and on the hilltop, stands a small boy dressed in rich cotton clothes and short pants. His hair is styled backward and his cheeks are blushed with a light rose. He is wearing socks that reach above his ankles. He is facing the horizon with no thoughts in mind.

'Haru? Is that you?'

Upon calling a familiar name, the boy turns around.

A sense of hope almost dwelled in her heart. A sense of belonging had almost returned. The longing to go back home was so fruitful and warm and guaranteeing, that a single doubt could turn for the absolute worse.

However, his eyes looked foreign. They weren't what she remembered. They evoke a shiver through her arms.

Haru had thick lashes for a young boy and it was a beautiful feature that his sister admired. His iris gleamed irregular shades of crimson and her heart almost dropped out of her throat. The young boy with the mask of Haru glances at her dead in the eye.

'Haru?'

His lips aren't moving, yet his eyes indicate an unusual familiarity. It rouses suspicion, yet Ailiseu, perhaps walking towards him, pushes the doubt further. Her body waves past through the gardens of lilies, tulips, and roses. They were arranged in an organized manner, which was comforting to the eyes.

The closer she approaches him, the depth of dread builds up a tight knot in her stomach.

A red flash of gleaming crimson red appears in his iris.

He doesn't say anything. However, the silence and breeze of the wind spoke loudly.

She stops dead in her tracks and before she can process the sight, hundreds of shredded petals twirl around her body, plunged by a gust of wind. She shields her eyes with her arms.

Then, it becomes quiet. Rather, too quiet and abnormal.

Ailiseu jolts up from her slumber with a strained gasp.

And finds herself back in the assigned chamber back in the castle.

Shaky hands reach for her throat and pounding heart, which have been restless and filled with adrenaline. Light beads of sweat trickle down her forehead and her body quivers like never before — as if she's just woken up from a terrible nightmare.

Rapid, hollow exhales traced back to her nervous system signaled pure discomfort. Her throat is parched. Her mind is running in circles. The pounding headache sets her mind ablaze.

Ailiseu grips the clean white bedsheet and takes in deep breaths to calm down. She counts to ten and aligns her exhales evenly. Once she's able to compose herself back to normal, she rests a palm on her chest, feeling the steady beat of her heart.

'I ... I'm still alive ... I—' she thought.

Only to be stopped mid-way by the confusing realization as to how she's back here in the castle.

Ailiseu flips the blanket over and notices that she's been changed into a lighter and looser garment. She brushes it over and assumes that one of the female servants has helped her change from an unknown episode.

'Wait ... when did I pass out?'

She hastily swings one leg over the bed and trips at the hooked sheets around her foot, causing her to lose balance. She reaches out towards the floor and barely saves her face from falling flat on the marble ground. Her forehead knocks directly on the cold stone, inducing Ailiseu to scowl.