Forgiveness

chapter 1

I was driving down the highway with the radio playing as my thoughts go back to a week ago when I got a phone call at my studio from someone I never wanted to hear from again. I could still feel the heartache she caused me all these years ago today as it all comes back to me. I grabbed the steering wheel as I felt the anger running through out my whole body.

"No."I said firmly into the phone as I heard sniffing but I was not going to let her get to me.

"Lindsey, if you don't want to come to my place then let's meet at a restaurant or anywhere you want."she asked with a hint of hope. I sighed deeply as I could hear her breathing heavily over the phone.

"Why,should I. You said all you needed to say to me years ago."I harshly said.

"I know and I am sorry but I want to talk. Please Lindsey just hear me out and if you don't agree then you're never hear from me again I promise."she said with sadness as I exhale sharply.

"Look I'll think about it and get back to you in a few days."I said as her voice cranks.

"Okay,thank you."she said with a lump in her throat.

"Don't thank me yet."I said with an edge in my voice and before she could say more I hung up.

All that night I couldn't get it out of my head as I recall that day that my whole world came crumbling down on me. I banged my fists on the steering wheel as the memory comes crushing down on me hard.

"Lindsey,I....I don't know if I could do this."she said as she fumble with her fingers.

"Do what sweetheart."I asked as I rock the little one in my arms with a smile as she coos with her tiny little fingers whipped around my finger.

"I thought I could do both but I can't. I wasn't ready for this. I have my whole life ahead of me and my career is just taking off. It's just going to get harder with her and being there for her all the time when I have to go on the road. I just..... Just can't....."she said with a lost look in her eyes. My smile fades away as I felt anger and my heart was racing.

"What are you saying because it's sounds like....you want to leave."I said with wide eyes as I glanced down and smooth the little girl in my arms as she started to whimper.

"Lindsey please,I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or her but I just can't right now please understand I need time."she said with pleasing as I felt a sharp pain in my heart.

"So what you are just going to walk away from us just like that. For what for some stupid career."I said with hurt and anger.

"It's not like that Lindsey. I still want to be....."she started to said but I cut her off with a hard look as she flinched and closed her mouth.

"No, you can't have it both way so save it for someone who cares. Just go and get your things out of my house by tonight."I said coldly as she gasped with tears running down her cheeks with a look of hurt.

"Lindsey."she said as she tried to reach for me as I pulled away and walked out of the room with my baby girl. I slammed the door as I learned up against it I could hear her cry's through the closed door. I took a deep a breath as I exhale slowly.

"It's going to be alright my angel I'll never leave you. I love you."I said with small smile as I kissed her head.

And still untill this day I kept my word I never left. I sighed heavily as I continue driving until I reached the studio. I need to calm myself and music is my escape from the world and her. I put the car in park as I get out and locked up the car and headed into the studio. I walked into my studio and went over what I was working on and listen to some tracks and made some changing. I also wanted to over a song I was in the middle of recording so I picked up my guitar and started to play a new track I was working on. I've been on working on it since that day she called and the song just come out of me. It felt like I was pouring my soul out of this song.