*Jonah's POV*
I woke up before my alarm. I got up and got ready for school. I grabbed my keys and wallet, then out the door I went. I drove to school and got there early. I walked in the school, down the hall I saw Jack, Zach, and Gabriela. Once I got to them Zach gave me a high five and a bro hug. That's just a way to greet each other. I did the same to Jack and I gave Gabriela a hug. I sat down in the floor and unlocked my phone. I scrolled through Instagram and stopped on Addie's post. It was a picture of her and Chasity in a shirt that had One Direction on it. They really like that band. I liked her post and locked my phone. I looked up and saw Daniel, Chasity, and Corbyn. I stood up and all three of them looked at me.
"Excuse me guys I'm going to head on to class." I said looking into Chasity's eyes for the first time since we broke up. I sent her a small smile before walking away.
It still hurts not being able to hold her and kiss her. I miss her. When I got to the class room door it was locked. So I slid down the wall and rested my arms on my knees. I laid my head down and closed my eyes for a bit since it's still alittle early. Soon I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked up to see Corbyn.
"Hey Corbyn." I said softly and put my head back down.
"Hey." He said as he sat down beside me.
"Look Jonah I'm sorry about yesterday ok. Addison told me what I said to you was rude and she's right but I am still mad at you because you know Chasity is my best friend and you broke her heart but I know you would've done the same for Addison if she was hurt by someone. But I just wanted to apologize."
I raised my head up and looked at him and gave him a small smile.
"I'm sorry I called you a dick. You can be as mad as you want at me but there is something I have to tell you. I still do love Chasity and I always will. She was my everything. It was like she was my heaven. I'd go back to her in a heart beat. But for right now I think you, me, and Chasity should gave each other some space. I'm going to my aunt's lake house this weekend to clear my mind. I just can't deal with all this drama. I know I caused it but I'm trying my best to fix it. With everyone calling my mistakes out in front of me, it's hard for me to stay calm and not lash out on you or anyone else." I explained and then the bell rang.
Corbyn and I walked in and for the rest of class I didn't speak to him. Even through second block I didn't talk to Chasity. I looked at her time to time but she catch me looking the past three times. I looked away and laid my head down. Hoping Mrs. Ruth wouldn't see me. I dosed off and a few minutes later I heard screaming.
"Jonah! JONAH MARAIS!" I shot up knocking my journal off my desk.
I bent down to get it but still got yelled at.
"Jonah don't pick it up! I'll do it for you!" She said picking it up.
"Please give me my Journal back." I said nicely and everyone was staring at me.
"No I'm not going to give it back to you. Since you want to sleep in class let's see what you've been writing in this journal.
"No Mrs. Ruth please don't read my journal."
"Oh there's pictures too."
"I'm begging you. Please give my journal back?" I asked as tears started to form in my eyes. There's a lot of personal things in there. It kinda like a diary and picture book.
"Jonah I already said no."
I grabbed my stuff and got up to leave.
"JONAH WHERE ARE YOU GOING!"
"If you're going to read my journal aloud I'm not going to be in here to hear it or see it. I asked for it back a few times and still you said no." I opened the door and let a few tears slip from my face but I wiped them away. I texted Addie and told her what Mrs. Ruth did. I headed to lunch and soon after the bell rang. I sat in my original spot at the lunch table and started eating my food. Everyone else joined but Chasity sat on the other side of Corbyn away from me. There was an empty spot between me and Corbyn. I wish Addie was here. I finished my food and pulled out my phone to see a text from Addison.
Addie: Why would she do that? That's your private stuff and she can get in trouble for reading all of that out loud.
Me: Yeah I know. Now I bet everyone knows I'm a jerk and I wrote a song. Plus all my photos I drew is in there.
Addie: I hope she gives it back to you.
Me: Yeah me too.
Soon it was time to go and I threw my trash away. I walked out and waited for Jack at his car. I leaned against it with my arms crossed and looking down at the ground. I heard someone walk up to me and I thought it was Jack but when I looked up it was Chasity. I took a small breath and I felt tears forming in my eyes again. I looked down and she pulled something out of her book bag. She held it out and I looked at what it was, it was my journal. I took it and looked in to her eyes as a tear finally excepted my eyes.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"You're welcome." She whispered back and walked away. I wanted to grabbed her hand and turn her around and kiss her but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. As I watched her walk away I let the tears fall. Jack unlocked the car and I hopped in the back. I'm pretty sure everyone saw me crying but I didn't care. I love her. Jack and Gabriela got in and they didn't say anything. They just took me home and I wiped my face off. I went in the house and up to my room to start homework. It took me about an hour and a half to finish then I took a shower, ate, and then I went to bed.
*Friday At Baseball Game*
This week has been rough. Daniel and I would argue every practice we had but Jack was always there to push us apart to keep us from fighting. I haven't really spoken to Corbyn since we apologized to each other and I haven't talked to Chasity since she gave me my journal back. I'm currently getting ready for the baseball game and Addie is coming. After I was done Daniel walked in and he stopped in his tracks and just gave me a glare.
"What?" I asked annoyed.
"Oh nothing I'm just waiting on you to get out so I can change."
"Whatever." I said as I started walking towards the door but as I passed him I bumped his shoulder. I head to the field and soon after everyone else came and the game started. Addie was on the front row cheering me on. I smile and got ready to bat.
The pitcher looked at me and gave me a glare. When I looked at his face again all I saw was Daniel. The guy threw the ball but I wasn't paying attention and there went my first strike. Wait what? I never get strikes I normally hit the ball on the first throw. I got ready again and he threw the ball. I hit it but it was a foul ball. I got ready again and then I heard a scream.
"Come on Jonah!" Addie yelled.
I looked straight at the pitcher and he threw the ball and I hit it hard but not hard enough as I normally do. I started running I hit first base and looked for a clearing and went for the second base but the guy at second base cought the ball and touched the base before I did. They got me out. I walked back and stood at the fence and Daniel came up to me.
"What happened you're normally a good player?"
"Are you saying I'm not a good player?" I asked getting closer to him.
"Jonah were at a game and I don't think you want to start your crap here in front of everyone."
"Says the one that tried to steal my girl."
"Jonah I did not steal her! I'm just her friend!"
"That's not what I saw!"
"You know what Jonah? Kiss my ass!" Daniel yelled walking away.
"Oh so now you're walking away like a little pussy!"
"What did you just say asshole!" Daniel yelled walking back to me and shoved me but one of our baseball players stepped in between us.
"Jonah you're fucking lucky Addison's here otherwise I would have kicked your ass!"
"You couldn't even do it last time!"
Soon the game was almost over the score was 35 to 34 we were losing by a point. It was my turn to bat and there was 30 second left. I hit the ball hard and started running. I hit first then second, then third on my way home the home guard caught the ball and got me out and the game ended. I took my helmet off and threw it down on the ground. I sat in the dirt and my team huddled up without me and I was super pissed. It started to pour down rain and I got up and grabbed my helmet and my stuff. Addie met me at the fence but I kept walking passed her.
"Jonah! Wait! You'll do better next time!"
"There won't be a next time because I'm fucking quitting!"
"Wait what! Jonah no! You can't quit! You're the team captain!"
"Well I'm not now I'm done with it!"
"So your just going to throw everything you've ever wanted away?"
"Yes I am. I'm going off this weekend and I'm going to focus on my music from now on. I'm done with baseball and I'm done being around Daniel." I walked to the locker rooms and sat there staring at the ground.
After everyone left I stood up and punch my locker. I felt pain go through my hand but I ignored it and changed. Addison drove me home and it was silent the whole ride. When I got home I packed my stuff for the weekend and my mom drove me to the lake house which is an hour away from here. Once mom dropped me off I walked in and pulled my journal out and started writing. It was a letter to Chasity but I don't know if I should give it to her or not. This is what I wrote.
Dear Chasity,
I just wanted to say sorry for how I acted towards you when all the Valerie stuff happened. I really wish things didn't end the way they did. I just wanted you to know that I still love you. I miss the way you laugh, I miss your bright smile, your beautiful brown hair, your brown eyes, I mean I could keep going. You're my heaven. My whole world. I know I've been a jerk and a horrible boyfriend but I ended things in a way I shouldn't have. I blamed you for something I shouldn't have been mad about. I know I wasn't paying attention to the road and you only wrecked my car so we wouldn't hurt the others. The car can be fixed which I'm not worried about right now. I'm more worried about you. I hurt you badly. I broke up with you without realizing it but the second I said those words to you, I regretted it but I knew it was for the best for us to take some time and space away from each other. I should have done it a different way and I know you know I kissed Valerie the day I broke up with you. Well the kiss didn't mean anything to me because I was drunk but I wanted you to know that I don't like Valerie in that way. I love you and only you. You can't be replaced. I miss your hugs and kisses and everything we did together. I really hope one day you can forgive me. I love you Chasity
Love Jonah
I closed my journal and started working on my music for my song I wrote.
