Mo Dao Zu Shi [The Untamed] One-shots Collection

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How many homes can one lose till they have no one to return to?

Mother and father gone with nothing to remember them but a vague image made of mist and a peal of laughter that will never be heard again but in his dream.

Uncle and aunt who gave him security but took a little bit of his dignity every step of his life. Achieve but not more than their blood.

Punishments were inevitable, might as well have deserved them. His unbothered nature masking the need to belong, the need to be wanted. So he made himself needed.

His sister, beautiful, sweet A-Jie, his hands still tremble for the day he lost her was also the day he died twice. Once when her heart stopped and once when his own did, yet he would choose his own pain anyway over the pain he caused to her.

With her he lost his brother, what could he expect, he had taken from him everything he had, Jiang Cheng had looked for him and even though he was not at fault for his absence, never once did he not blame himself. The time he spent looking for his parents, he knows how it feels.

He knows how so many things feel, so young, so soon. He should have known better says the man about his 15 year old self, he should not have angered the Wen.

He should have tried harder, he says about his 17 year old self at war against men much older, should have known diplomacy when never trained to have to handle sect politics, should have just shut up, protected his brother against the manipulation of the vile Wens and the Jins.

Should have done things differently to handle the Wen refugee situation, as a young adult, should have known not to fall for tactics by the sect of his aunt's sworn sister, should have taken better care of a cultivation just born out of him out of necessity.

Should have, would have, could have...

Sleep seldom blessed Wei Wuxian. Nights plagued him with the many broken dreams and promises. So he sits outside in the veranda, the stars his companion, the moon his company. Simply existing.

How many people would still be alive had he simply not existed? Shijie, Uncle Jiang, madame Yu, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Jin Zixuan, the many people he killed (in self-defence but why does that matter) in the massacre, could he have caused the Sunshot campaign to begin with?

Who knows maybe his parents too would have lived had they not had him as a burden. Perhaps his mother would be stronger, his father less distracted...

His thoughts are broken by his dear husband coming to check why he wasn't in bed yet.

"Wei Ying?", calls Lan Zhan, entering the room surrounded by half finished projects and haphazardly made talismans, crumpled and sleepy and yet somehow composed. He looked adorable.

"yes, sweet husband? Did you miss me? Could not sleep without me huh?", he replies, trying to imitate his usual cheery voice.

Lan Wangji looks at him scrutinisingly, a hand coming to cup his cheek and he looks through a blurry vision, blinking away what he supposed was sleep.

"you are crying Wei Ying, what is wrong?", came a worried voice, bringing him back to reality.
"ah, nothing! nothing husband, it's really nothing, just some silly thoughts" he tried to mitigate the situation.

Lan Wangji's eyes furrow as he calls him a liar without a word. Wei Wuxian has never been able to stand that look for long, with a sigh he asks his husband to sit down with him. He lays his head on his beloved's shoulder and stays for a few seconds. Lan Wangji lets him, Wuxian has never been the type to talk about feelings if they have been his own.

"Why do you love me, Lan Zhan?", came the startling question breaking the silence, Lan Wangji looks shocked, how could anyone not fall for the majestic man that was Wei Wuxian? While he had not understood it, he now knew all it had taken for him was but a look at that face to fall head over heels for the man.