All Things Wild and Beautiful

10. Memories of Aquaintences

The artwork above is not mine.

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    It took hours for Fenrys to finally fall asleep. When he did, it was light and broken. He jumped awake at the slightest sound, always looking over to make sure it hadn't been Nascha making a run for it or leaning over to kill him.

    Every time he woke, she was still soundly sleeping. She looked much friendlier when she was asleep, Fenrys couldn't help but think. Her features relaxed and lost their angry, pinched look. If she smiled, he might have thought her pretty.

    Six whole months, he groaned inwardly, scrubbing at his face. Six months of sharing my home, bed, and time with a complete stranger.

    Not that he wasn't used to that. Parts of it, anyway. He'd never had a home to share before, and Maeve had never come to his bed. Nor had he been allowed to bring partners there himself. He had spent plenty of time in strangers' beds though. Maeve's, and other females'.

    Fenrys glanced at Nascha again, then returned his gaze to the ceiling. He had tried to be as careful as possible when he snuck out and found a partner for the evening. Maeve always found out somehow. She caught him every time. Not always right away, but inevitably. There had only been one female whom he'd managed to keep a secret for a few months, before being found out.

    Fenrys met Seraphina at a tavern one night when Maeve had not required his services. He'd never connected with someone more instantaneously than her. It wasn't long before he found himself sneaking out every chance he got. As much as he knew he needed to call things off, Fenrys could never bring himself to.

    One night when he visited her, he stayed longer than he meant to. They fell asleep. When Fenrys woke, he found himself drenched in her blood, with her mangled body still lying beside him. Connall, Lorcan, and Cairn had been in the room with them.

    He later learned that it was Connall who held her down. It was Lorcan who kept her silent. It was Cairn who carved her up, while Fenrys slept soundly beside her. It was Connall who dragged him out of the house and back to Maeve's palace, half lucid and raging in his agony. It was Rowan and Vaughan who held Fenrys as Gavriel delivered his own punishment.

    Connall had come to him later and scolded him for being so careless. He'd said Fenrys brought Seraphina's fate upon them himself. He knew Maeve saw him as property. He should have known better. He would know better in the future. Then, his brother sat beside him, murmuring words of sympathy. Connall didn't stay long. Just long enough to let Fenrys know that his twin still cared for him a little, despite the rift that had grown between them.

    Only weeks later, Cairn began to spread rumors that Seraphina had been pregnant when she died. Fenrys tortured himself with the thought for years, wondering if there was any truth to the words, or if they were just another lie. It was a question he would never know the answer to. It was a question he still pondered to this day, though less frequently than before. It made no difference either way. Seraphina was dead, and so was their child, if it ever even existed.

    Fenrys breathed a heavy sigh and swallowed, blinking back the memories. He rolled over, brushing his thumb across the tattoo of Gavriel's name. If he wasn't required to stay with Nascha, he would've gone to visit the male's grave. It had been weeks since he'd last gone. He sometimes sat there for hours talking, as though Gavriel could still hear him and might offer a response.

    Fenrys sat up, a thought occurring to him. Slowly, his lips curled into a smile. He leaned over and shook Nascha roughly. "What?" She batted at his hand drowsily. "Sun's not up. No training yet, Van."