Arbellas pov *2 days later*
I get back inside and I walk to my bedroom. Locking the door and sitting on the edge of the bed.
I rock back and forth. Should I really do this?.. Kill myself?
I'm not scared to die and no one will miss me.. I'm just gonna miss a few people.
Jack and the boys.. I'm gonna miss them so much. But I don't hang out with them now anyways. So even if I did kill myself I wouldn't feel the pain of missing them.
So I guess its official now. The only way to stop the pain, is to kill myself..
I'll do it tomorrow.. At night. But until then I'm gonna get shit faced.
//
Jacks pov
I went to her apartment.. She doesn't live there anymore.. Where is she?
This is tearing at me. I need her.. We don't even have to date, get married someday.
Just as a friend. But overall I NEED her in my life. Shes just everything. She boggles me. She just makes me feel something.
Its like shes a drug and I need her or I can't comprehend anything. I can't go on, can't think.
Won't do anything. Need it. But I'm being deprived and that sucks and it hurts.
Where could she have went? It was just two days ago I talked to her in the café she couldn't have left that quick and she wouldn't move.
I know she wouldn't. This place met her perfect criteria and she said she could be content here.
But she could never anywhere else.. Wait! Thats it.. She killed herself? Thats the only thing..
Why would she not say goodbye. I would've stopped her if I would've known. I can't believe she killed herself.
I sit on the couch and burst into tears. I can't believe this. I don't cry usually but I just can't stop myself.
Shes special.. So important, so lively amazing and she doesn't even know it.. I can't show her now either.. Shes gone.
Shes gone for good and she won't come back. She can't come back. Even if there was something after this and she was watching and realized she made a mistake she couldn't come back.
She'd be stuck there for good. Watching over. Wondering how she was so stupid. Beating herself up over the fact that was a stupid decision.
I hear the doors open and the boys voices and laughter fill the room. I wipe my eyes and try to control my breathing. I lay back and face the cushions of the couch to make it look like I'm sleeping.
They can't see me cry.. Sure I'll tell them later but they know I never cry and they may laugh.. Maybe not.. They will most likely all cry so I guess its okay.
I turn over and breathe deeply. I look at all of them and sit up.
Sam looks at me. "Woah are you crying.." He tries not to laugh.
"You never cr-" - "shes dead." I cut him off. His facial expression drops.
"What do you mean.. 'Shes dead'?" He asks worried.
"SHE KILLED HERSELF!" I break. I scream at Sam. Johnson sits next to me.
"Bro, calm down." He pats my back. I swat his hand away. I breathe hard and hold my temples. I put my head down and let yet another tear slip.
I look at all of them. "Shes gone." I say again before i race up the stairs and to my room.
//
Arbellas pov
Im getting drunk. Its gonna be my last time so this is gonna be good. I have a few bottles and I'm alone..
Im not gonna remember any of this obviously. But I'm gonna remember to kill myself. Cause the rope.. Its just hanging there.
How could I forget if it constantly hits me in the face while I make my way in and out if the bathroom. Too drunk to take it down.
Its gonna remind me to kill myself and I'll do it. I'll be drunk so I can just leave in peace.
YOU ARE READING
Pressure// j.g
FanfictionWhen Arbella moves to Omaha to live her dream of professional photography. she meets a guy. a guy named Jack Gilinsky a very fucking perfect guy who she gets involved with. Does he stop her from fulfilling her dreams or does he push her towards it...
