Broken Walls ✔

ch 24

Liam Moonhovan

I approached the bouncer at the club entrance, ready to argue my way in because it was before opening hours. Which made me wonder why Enzo was there, but to my amazement, he just let me in without saying anything. 

When I stepped in, I noticed how different the place looked and felt without the loud music, crowds, and flashing lights.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. Super tall. Dark hair that goes down to like here...and muscular" I said trying to describe Enzo to one of the employee's who looked at me as if I was an idiot before pointing to the area where the booths were located. I thanked him and began heading over. I could hear voices talking as I came closer.

"You two slept together?" A disbelieving voice inquired. 

"Yep," replied a more feminine voice proudly.

 I was going to turn around, thinking that he might not be here. "I'm glad for you, Enz; it's about time you got back in the game, if you know what I mean" one of the voices said, laughing. I froze when I heard Enzo's nickname.

 "I completely ship you two, you two would be a power couple" 

I peered over to see a brunette sat on Enzo talking to two other guys. I'd agree she was attractive which made my chest ache a little. I looked at Enzo, his eyes grew from dull to panicked as they met mine. He gently pushed her off him and got up, prompting the other three to question him what he was doing. I swiftly turned on my heels and decided to go. Nonetheless, I retained his words that night in the car.

"I stopped sleeping around....all for a guy who didn't wanna see me again"

That's right. I was the one who told him I didn't want to see him again. 

I'm the one who disappeared. 

I'm the one who is acting selfish and stupid enough to expect him to wait for me. 

I was the one who broke off communication. 

I was the one who pushed him away. 

So, if I was in the wrong and I know it....why does it hurt so much?

Why do I have the burning feeling that my heart is shattering and the world is closing in on me?

 I was on top of the world a minute ago, knowing I'd reconciled with Zach and was now going to mend things with Enzo too, but suddenly it seemed as if all the 'walls' I'd created to shield myself were crumbling around me, and it hurt so much.

As I strode across the club, I wiped my eyes, keeping back the tears that threatened to fall. Why was I crying in the first place? He wasn't meant to be committed to me, after all. 

"Liam," Enzo's voice shouted out, and I could hear his footsteps close behind me, but I continued on my way. "Liam, wait," Enzo called again but I kept walking as quickly as I could.

I need to get out of here as soon as humanly possible. I need to leave before I get hurt again.  I repeated in my head as I rushed to the door hearing him close behind me. 

The staff looked at us strangely as he rushed out after me, but I could see my car now, so I could leave. "Liam will you stop" I kept going walking to my car. "Liam....please" He pleaded softly and desperately making me flinch.

I was eager to continue. I wanted to jump in the car and drive away, but instead I turned around to face him. 

I hadn't realized how much I'd missed his stupid face and eyes until I was standing right in front of him. He took a step closer, causing me to wince and back up.

 "Liam..." he sighed. Why did he keep saying my name like that?  I couldn't bring myself to say no when he said it like that and I hate it.  "What are you doing here? if it's about the article. it was taken down"

I gazed at him, unsure what to say next. I could either tell him the actual reason I was here or simply lie, but the gleam in his eyes urged me otherwise. "I don't fucking care about the article," I muttered, and he looked at me puzzled. "I came here for you," I confessed. 

"For me? Why?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you? Because I'm fucking in love with you "I yelled. 

Only then did I realize what I had said, and both of our eyes widened. "It was naive of me to think you'd go so long without hearing from me and just keep waiting. I know." The feeling of a sob trying to burst through my lips caused me to bite my lower lip as I stormed to my car and drove away.

I'm not sure what stung the most. The fact that he'd moved on. That I'd actually admitted to being in love with him, and he said nothing. Or that he didn't try to stop me this time and simply stood there as I left. 

Zach and Zaira were waiting for me when I arrived home. I merely briefed them what had happened and asked them to go because I needed to be alone. Or at least I thought I did.

As I cuddled up in my bed, my mind began to reflect on what had just occurred. I knew I didn't deserve someone like Enzo, and it was selfish of me to want him. but could you really blame me?

Every time I discover something new that I love, it is taken away from me, and it hurts more more each time. 

I paused for a while as my thoughts returned to Enzo. Even if he has really moved on I still want him to text me every day, and to come over with snacks for movies, and spend time with me and Alexis again. I still wanted him in my life; I don't want to lose him forever since he has become so important to me. 

I'm just not sure my heart can withstand seeing him happy with someone else.

His bright brown eye that always had a glistering spark. His black raven hair, which was normally unkempt yet always looked good. His broad smile, which revealed all of his pearly teeth. His blissful laugh seemed to make the sun shine a bit brighter. I didn't want to see him look at anybody else with those eyes, smile or laugh with them the way I want him to do with me....

There I go again, being selfish.

But how could I not? 

I honestly do really want him to be happy. But  I want to be the one that makes him happy. That causes him to smile and laugh till his hair is a mess. I want to cuddle with him and run my fingers through his hair, as if it will take away all his worries like I wished to do.

Maybe being selfish once in a while isn't such a bad thing.

But maybe this time it is.

I want him, but I want him to be happy, but maybe he is happy with her, but I don't want him to be with her. I was internally screaming the conflict tearing me apart as my mind raced back and forth and left to right. It was all over the place like Alexis on a sugar rush.

My baby experiencing his first heartbreak since high school. He's really going thought it...pray for my mans and his internal conflict.

Next chapter will be out soon I promise <3