Magnets

Chapter 11

PHIL'S POV

And so I could only watch as my best friends slowly fell apart. The day after the announcement of his dad's death, he didn't go to school, so neither did I. He didn't even leave his room. The only time he acknowledged the my existent was when he said thanks to me for bringing him lunch. Which he couldn't keep down anyway.

He didn't laugh. He didn't smile. He didn't even cry. He just looked like he'd been rolled over by two trucks. He sat, staring at the wall. I knew I would have to help in some way, or we'd be back to square one.

"Dan? I'm coming in," I said as I knocked on his door. There was no response. I went on in anyways.

Dan was sitting in his chair, statue still, watching a spider climb up the wall.

I drew up another chair and sat beside him.

"Dan? Do you wanna talk?"

He shook his head.

"Do you need anything?"

He shook his head again.

All of a sudden there was a scratching at the door, followed by a low whine.

"Is it okay to let Rusty in?"

He nodded, so I turned to the door and let the impatient dog in. She did not jump all over him like she normally would. She just sat besind his chair calmly and put her head in his lap, whining softly.

Dan loooked down at her, and buried his face in her scruff, shaking silently. Mute sobs wracked his body.

And seeing him broken like that broke something inside of me. I quietly slipped away so he didn't see the tears running down my face.

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DAN'S POV

It helped, having Rusty there. She didn't bite or scratch as we stayed locked in that position for ages. The familiar doggy smell helped to distract me from the roaring in my ears, the pain in my heart.

I heard a quiet sniffle as Phil left the room.

Don't go, Phil. I still need you.

But I would've never said that.

After I cried myself out, I felt a little better. My mind felt clearer.

C'mon, Dan. You gotta do something.

Luckily, my phone rang. It was my mum.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey Dan. How're you holding up? And how far away are you?" She asked.

"Just across the street."

"There's something you need to see."

"Okay."

I strolled across the street, leaving Rusty pawing at the door, desperate for more attention. I walked straight in.

"Mum?" I called.

"I'm in my bedroom!" She yelled back, getting a little choked up at the end.

Heart beating fast, I trudged up the stairs. She was sitting on her bed, holding two letters in her hands.

"Dan!" She cried, rushing to hug me. I huged her back tightly, holding on to what little was left of my family. Just that thought made my vision blur up. I realised she was crying as well.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered gently.

Then we broke apart.

"Um," she said, holding out a letter addressed to me. "He wrote this for you. Right before he died."

I took the letter and held it.

"Do you want some privacy? I can go..."

"It's okay."

I opened the letter carefully and began to read.

My dearest son,

By now you've probably figured out exactly how I died. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so horrible to you during my lifetime. I'm sorry I never got to know you. I'm sorry the only times we ever spoke were to yell at each other. Daniel James Howel, none of those things I said were true. You are not worthless. You are not ugly. You are special, and you will forever be. You are going to grow up into a fine young man, and meet your true love and you are going to be happy.

I know life has been hard on you, and I know that I am 90% of the problem. But whenever you cast your mind back too me, I don't want you to think of the drunken rages and yellling. I want you to think of the happier times, before the monsters took over my head.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is: will you forgive me?

Love, your father.

My body was shaking. Tears were fooding my eyes. But it had stopped hurting. The pain had ended. My mum didn't say anything, just wrapped her arms around my neck as we both cried.

"You'll move back in, then?" She asked after a while.

"Of course." I answered truthfully.

I walked back to Phil's house to collect my stuff. I found him leaning on the kitchen bench. His eyes were puffy and red.

"Dan, where'd you go?! I was worried sick!" He said, not unfriendly, but underlined with something... Frightening.

"I-uh, I just went back home for a bit. My mum needed me there."

Phil ran his fingers through his mussed up hair.

"Okay," he sighed as if reassuring himself. "Okay."

"Phil, are you okay?" I asked when I saw his fingers trembling.

"You just really scared me. Like, really, really scared me."

"Sorr-"

"Do you have any idea what it's like living with someone that was suicidal?!" He said suddenly, tears coursing down his face. "Someone who could just go off the ledge like that, without any goodbyes, nothing! Do you have any idea how much pressure I've been under, trying to make sure you don't jump off that bridge, or take too many, pills, or-"

"Stop it!" I yelled. "I-" I took a deep breath. "I"m sorrry."

He just kept leaning against the counter like his legs wouldn't support him, hands covering his face. "No-"

I cut him off by wrapping my arms around him. He silently cried into my shoulder.

"Let it out, Phil. It's okay to cry."

We finally broke apart, him blushing sheepishly.

"S-sorry. Look at you, being the strong one. I'm so weak."

"Phil, you have every right to be under pressure. I'm moving back today, anyway."

He smiled sadly. "I'll miss having you around."

"I'll miss being around. I'll still see you everyday, though."

"Ha, yeah, probably."

And so that was the time I spent living with Phil.

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Guys I promise this isn't the end even though I made it sound like it whoops.

Hope yall enjoyed that sob fest.

Thanks for reading!11!!